One more place down

Life at home for the summer has been a good surprise. Not surprised to be here of course (I was aware of where I would be spending the time) but that it has been full. The college and careers age group at the church I have been attending is a very considerate group who like to have fun and include other people.

Having to work Saturday I was looking forward greatly to the long part of the weekend and having Monday off. Sunday started with church where, being late as usual, we sat in the last row behind an overflowing congregation. The whole service I kept catching glimpses of people who didn’t belong (not in the “you-don’t-belong-here” way but that they fit into other parts of my life, other places). First I leaned forward to a woman who usually attended the church I went to in high school, “Is that…Pastor…..Dave?”.

Thinking to myself that looks like Heather R’s hair...oh, this is the Soo, not Guelph, nevermind. Of course I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted after church by a whole group of Guelphites who happened to join Alex W. for the long weekend. It felt great to converse and get caught up on all that I have missed and will miss being in the far away half of the province. After it all I am ok with the idea that I’m never going to be back in Guelph, not in the student way, not going to classes and meeting the same people at the grey stairs.

We were spoiled Sunday evening when a friend invited us to the camp of his family friends. Well-worth the half hour drive to discover that I actually do enjoy saunas, I enjoy sitting on the top and feeling my face burn (as long as it dies down a bit after) and then jumping into the cool lake water. My arms still feel just slightly tense from gripping a tube while being towed behind a speed boat with two successful rides out of three. Although it was fun there wasn’t any regret leaving because it was early awake on Monday morning to drive to Mackinac Island. Mark picked me up and treated me to the ferry ride to the tourist island; the ride into it actually somewhat resembling a ferry ride through the Bermuda Harbour with the colourful homes perched on the green cliffs to overlook deep blue water.

Easily my favourite part of the trip was the few mile walk up to an old cemetery. Some graves had fresh flowers even after 20 years. One couple had a Star Trek symbol of their grave, with the wife having been the child of an interracial marriage before while it was likely still quite taboo (in the early 1940s). There is so much to learn about people who lived before us, had lives and hopes and families and contributed to their communities before we even came along. The fudge on the island is pretty good too. There are actually no cars allowed there so everything and everyone must be transported via horse or bicycle. How do they clean the horse ‘meal remnants’ off the streets? With a street cleaning power washer pulled behind two Clydesdales of course!

The day ended by celebrating my sister’s 20th birthday with the family, her close friend and Mark treated by my parents to a nice restaurant. We are really starting to appreciate each other’s company more and more. That is adding tremendously to my time at home.

Working on a Saturday

For some reason I have been contemplating the role of of government funding and agencies with taxes. Although I need to think about this quite a bit more in depth I believe that the Canadian government supports the middle class. If it wasn't for the regulation and spending of the government (however inefficient) there would slowly be no middle class or it would not be the majority. Consider what capitalism does to our country: in an effort to be more and more efficient it either outsources what were once the good jobs or it breaks each position into smaller, part-time positions to avoid paying benefits, pensions, vacation, etc. Where do most of the well-paid, full time positions with benefits come from? Hospitals, schools, universities, government offices and agencies.

It can be argued against of course since many communities are supported by commerce and large corporations (Algoma Steel in Sault Ste. marie) that employ many people. The age of unions and well-paid positions aren't over but they are phasing out. If capitalism had its way our income structure would look like our ozone layer in the 1980s, a gradually widening hole where the middle class used to be.

Trip update: since I will be volunteering a few hours a day with children I can bring supplies like clothes, school supplies and other basics to give to them. Exciting! It will be so fun to choose items and pack them for the children. If I bring things from Wal-Mart what are the chances that they actually made it themselves for 15 cents and hour?

I am Ross Gellar

In the process of coming closer to my goal of watching all 10 seasons of Friends (what a goal eh?) I have discovered a connection between Ross Gellar and myself. The title is a bit misleading since there are very many differences between the two of us (hopefully the gender thing is obvious, he doesn’t actually exist, etc.) but one characteristic stood out while I was watching Episode 14 of Season 1 “The one with the Candy Hearts”. Ross is awkward. A specific way that he is awkward is that he is nerdy and truly loves subjects like history, dinosaurs and general scientific facts. In this particular episode he is on a first date with a woman and the audience gets a clip of them sitting awkwardly at a restaurant. To break the silence Ross starts talking excitedly about a new scientific discovery (or something) and ends with what he considers a joke due to the irony of said discovery. The woman manages a small genuine laugh but was unimpressed throughout the telling and the conversation hits another lull.

That’s me! I’d like to think that there aren’t that many lulls for me however I regularly just get going on a topic that I find fascinating only to realize when I have finished that no one else finds it nearly as riveting as I do. The other day at work I was regaling Amanda with an interesting anecdote about my young bilingual cousin and his experience of English speakers trying to speak French only to finish and have Amanda laugh and say “You realize that you just had an entire conversation about the word Bonjour, right?”.

As I prepare to leave for Peru I am also scrambling to read as much as possible. I don’t want to be ingesting too much English while down there so my initial plan to bring hordes of books will likely have to be re-planned. Better finish the Harry Potter soon then!

Shot in the arm

tuesday was vaccine day. I only went for Typhoid and Hep A, leaving Yellow Fever unless I end up needing it. Saved $80! In total the boost to my immune system was $85 but I believe I'll be going in for some government funded extras next week: good ol' TB test and an MMR just to be safe. This trip is so far on budget and its looking like I can get the snazzy slim camera so I can be more inconspicuous (I figure the ghostly pale skin is enough).

Driving around a double hamlet (200 people) on st. joe's island today made me wonder "at what point does a community become financially efficient?" This miniscule group of people had their own hospital (ok, it was very basic but there), libary, government offices, post office. Of course smaller versions of the ones in larger cities but unlikely to serve the same per capita. For example, the fire station. The town had at least one fire truck for 200 people. There had to be at least two or three fire fighters (well, they were probably volunteer) however, that one fire truck (for the same price and similar maintenance) could likely serve a community of over 1000, maybe even more. One community of 1000 gets one firetruck vs. 5 communities of 200 getting 5 firetrucks total. Which is a more efficient way to use our taxes? Social programs? When does this increase in population cease to be more efficient? It would change if by efficient I meant in terms of just the economy of added criteria like quality of life and environmental factors. What is an ideal sized community? hmmmm

Because I'm a Sucker

I had planned on posting about the way governments are organized to use our resources in more efficient ways than we ever could on our own but are still often very wasteful. Also that each person benefits to very different degrees from the same system.

Also, I've been reading a book about science experiments performed on humans in the name of national security. The US government injected and fed radioactive material to healthy newborns back in the 50s (or somewhere around there) to determine how radiation moves through the body and how quickly. What?

Something came up however of much more weight. Friday night a local Shoppers' DrugMart stayed open past midnight to make 144 Harry Potter fans weep with joy. Sadly, I saw it all from inside when I accompanied Mark to get his very own copy (well, it did beat waking up at 8am on a saturday to track one down). It seemed innocuous enough, waiting in line inside the store, until PHOTOGRAPHERS showed up to catch the moments forever. Why? It is now official that i am a nerd. the internet says so. The local online news source displayed an array of fans including two not so flattering numbers here and here. Just to clarify: I was laughing at all the losers in line (oh wait....sigh)

Maybe i'll try acting my age (sometimes)

My family and I have become much closer since I left for school. Sad how that is the story but better late than never. I can even say with true conviction that i enjoy hanging out with both of my siblings. Against my first instincts I also decided to introduce my boyfriend to the parents. My mother has been cool. My father, well, he is getting better. That is where acting my age comes in. I can no longer blame my parents for not being close or not taking the initiative. My father has never exactly been an open guy. This means that he has yet to ask about or mention Mark directly but will make remarks or jokes to others when we're around. What should I do? Probably bring up the topic myself but i have no real desire to go there. He also may be a very caring person but he just has bad judgment when deciding what he should say to daughters. Some things have been hurtful but instead of addressing it I react "jokingly" passive-aggressive...the cold shoulder or just pretend like nothing happened. It could be up to me to grow up and stop waiting for him to do it.

Topic change: this saturday was great! While disappointment was starting to set in after pawing through hundreds too many Harlequin Romance novels (really people, must you?) my brother and i stumbled on a woman who was selling some of her classics to make room on her shelves. For $1.50 she parted with Catch-22, The Old Man and the Sea, 1984, the Merchant of Venice, The Pearl (John Steinbeck), Candide (voltaire), Of Mice and Men (Steinbeck). Woot. Which to read first?

Other finds: -- $1 for two neclaces - a cherry-red beaded one and the other with browns and faded reds made from seeds
-- $1.50 for a Spanish CD with lessons to go on my ipod. It is somewhat basic but I have to practice my ability to listen and understand.

Following up the garage saling (where my bro also found books, a leather guitar strap ($2) and devil sticks ($1) came a lovely nap and then my further domestication through baking of zucchini loaf (Have to impress the bf's parents since I will be meeting them tomorrow). Mark and I did Rotaryfest for the rest of the afternoon and even took in two free shows of local bands: The Revue and Catherine Taddo band. Both very different (one pop/punk/something and one jazz/blues) and great acts with immense talent. I could have stayed there all day.

The festival ended tonight and, without the stress of actually running the PlayZone, I worked at the inflatables, helped put away tents and tables afterward and then spent hours counting money in the banking room. Three years of waiting but Heather and I were able to be on the grounds voluntarily and even eat our candy apples before the draw. Tonight I will sleep peacefully.

I blow my own mind

So I like to think about stuff. Maybe everyone else thinks of these things but if they don't maybe they should try it.

1) When doing something random like catching a ferrett at 2am (steph), reading a random book, etc. I often stop to wonder if anyone else in the whole wide world of over 6 BILLION PEOPLE is doing the same thing as me at exactly the same time.

2) A variation on the above is I often ponder what others are doing right at the very minute. Por ejemplo: I may be bored or working or having fun and at that very moment there is someone (ok, probably many someones) having their first child, being diagnosed with cancer, dying, scared for their lives, getting married, etc.

3) It always throws me when I try to actually understand that for thousands (millions?) of years things were occurring (wars, Jesus' birth, rise and fall of civilizations, discovering North America) but I had no consciousness, I was not aware yet they still happened. (I realize that could come off exceptionally vain or self-centred thinking that the world began with my birth but that isn't what I'm trying to get at).

4) Until I meet someone we are entirely unaware of each other's existence. When I was learning how to ride a bike right at that moment one of the people who is now my friend could have been doing the same thing or having a birthday party or in the hospital. It is always so trippy when you talk to someone you haven't known for long and find out that you were at the same concert or summer camp at the same time as them 10 years earlier. Pretty much the whole time I was going to Guelph Mark lived in Kitchener and worked at the libby there but we were completely oblivious of each other's existence.

Conclusion: whoa

Ella tiene su billete

It is time again to whip out the Tracy Chapman in celebration. "She's Got Her Ticket" is playing on my ipod...too bad the song is slightly melancholy. I am officially grown up: my ticket to Cuzco, Peru is booked for 91 days and 90 nights of crazy Spanish learning.

Deadline given to myself to book ticket: July 1st
Actual date of ticket-booking: July 14th.

That is pretty good in 'my time'. Much of the avoidance came from being nervous about booking something so final, not being able to go back or change it. Committing to one decision is often difficult for me. So really, this was an exercise in commitment. I passed. The website used was travelocity.ca because it was the cheapest. However the price has been gradually rising all week as I repeatedly would try to book a ticket only to be redirected back to the beginning every time I chose the return flight: I say that they owe me the difference from when the site was being a jerk and now. It is over $50. But it was still under $900...woot woot. I may be able to afford this after all.

The next purchase: "The Rough Guide to Peru" in order to plan all the minute details. My appointment for immunization consult is next week (eep). I am looking into travel health insurance. Contact lenses in case I manage to lose or break my only pair of glasses (oh, its more than possible). How about if anyone thinks of something that I should do to get ready they let me know, ok?

New topic: an update to yesterday's 'new template' post. You may have noticed that it no longer says 'my blog', so what was all the whining about? Well, probably because he's one of the most thoughtful people I know, Mark stayed up past his bedtime and made me a new image to fix my blog. Isn't it perfect? I thought so.

Just because, apparently, I'm not original

I guess just because Beth and Vaness (no links now, i'm too lazy) just changed their templates I guess I had to do it too....actually I was inspired by Beth because I was tired of my boring old template. However, it is still called "My Blog" and I can't seem to find where that is in the template to change it....why would anyone want that there? I want to be the DAPPER DAME again! Honestly.


But the pink flowers are pretty.

The Closest thing to playing the harp

This blog has been a bit neglected. Hmmm. I wonder why? My friends point out that I'm in high demand lately but I think that I have been balancing my time quite well. Mark and I spend about 5 days a week together (the evenings, not all day every day) but are pretty good at incorporating other people into that...or other people are good at incorporating us and we are good at accepting invitations. It works out since the church has been drugging the juice every Sunday and there are new couples springing up all over the place.

The real reason for this blog though is to express my dislike of the letter "G". This isn't new and I may have even mentioned it before but this makes it concrete. It is only appropriate that the words "gross" and "disGusting"use the nasty hard "G" sound. I should clarify that when it comes to being easy on the eyes the capital version does not fit. Gregory...not a name any child of mine will ever have. The sound that begins "genre" and "giant" while not exactly in my good graces (ew, alliteration) have more redeeming qualities than the hard, glottal, sloppy "Guh"

On Imagination

What would the coast of Lake Superior have looked like to the people who first set eyes on it? Completely unblemished. Imagine Niagara falls. Now imagine stumbling upon that wonder of nature unannounced except for the thunder it produced; to walk out of a clearing and absorb parts of the scene before being able to see the whole majesty of it. There is something about imagining the pristine and uncorrupted that interests me. In reading "The Ingenuity Gap" the author is ranting about the slight (and not so slight) brown haze that extends over the entire continent of North America and dulls even the most beautiful landscapes. Try to imagine the most beautiful scenery in Canada: it should be even more brilliant. I feel like a colour blind person being told about blue and trying to imagine it from the hazy greens and greys that I do have.

The sky should be bluer. The water should be crystal clean. What would wholly unpolluted air feel like? Smell like? Taste like? We haven't been very good stewards of this world.

One glorious thing about living with the parents

My room is in the basement. Due to low ambient temperature I still have flannel sheets on my bed. That I use regularly. One of the wonderful things about fall and winter all year long.

Career Development

Yesterday I had the opportunity to job shadow a few speech-language pathologists who work specifically with youth (0-18) and still get paid (oh, career development). I can't reveal anything about the cases I sat in on however I did get to participate in therapy of two small children, one working on speech development (focusing on certain consonants or sounds) and another on social interaction. I also observed a session that was being taped for a new theory of treatment out of the States and watched a swallow exam for an infant. Swallow exams sounded the least interesting to me however, the film was made by a radiologist so the food was visible from the time enters the childs mouth for the entire path it takes to the stomach.

The facility included occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists and childworkers. The offices were crawling with toys, books and materials to engage children and work on everything from coordination to comparisons and pronouns and even had a fully wheelchair accessible apartment in the building where young people can practice independence.

The staff were up to date on fairly recent research and, for example, work very closely with autistic children just to get them to engage. The idea is to use nonverbal communication forcing them to look at the face of the therapist/playmate (something often of little interest to autistic children) for cues of when to act, how to act: help pickup the toys (shake head and frown) no not the truck, (smile and nod vigorously) yes, the elephant (wave the child over).

It was nothing I had expected and so much more rewarding. Is it worth 3 more years of school? Am I really scared of a thesis? I just want to have an education and be involved in a field that contributes to society, that helps others.

Early Canada Day

Last night some peeps went out to a camp for a jovial time. In all there was at least $60 of merchandise blown up and a small lack of common sense. My first experience with do-it-yourself fireworks proved to be entertaining. Although a bit wary at first I greatly enjoyed the sparkly ones (star dust or balls of green and blue light streaming into the air) but not so excited about the loud bangs that some of the more cocky and arogant fireworks let out. Please, you expect me to be impressed by a loud noise? You're just moving air around to create waves that, when hitting my eardrum, are interpreted by my brain as a pop or bang. A whole lot more skills goes into being pretty and shiny.

Not to mention I just don't like loud noises. Correction, I like loud music or being loud at times but sharp, unexpected sounds....not cool. I'm already a jumpy, anxious person and I don't want a heart attack at 22.

Hiatusing

Currently crashing on the couch of the lovely J.B. in transition between Bermy and home. As of right now I will finally be home in 24hours. The vacation was wonderful but tiring. There was so much to do and see that by the end I just needed a nap. Besides, I'm more of an explorer than a beach-lier-onner so I needed some time to do that.

Things I learned while away:
1) My house will be stucco and a butter cream yellow or aqua blue depending on how I feel that year.
2) I feel very convicted to watch my water usage after being with water-thrifty bermudians. I would like to challenge myself to try to conserve more (ie. use the rinse method when showering instead of the constant stream of water)
3) It is was too expensive to go out for dinner on that island

More to come once I upload my pictures, I don't want to ruin all the fun details for the people I will get to speak to in person. Now I must mentally prepare myself for 13 hours on the greyhound.

Good thing I said change can be fun

This past week has been a biggun'. Funny how everything can come up at once.

On Monday my grandmother was admitted to the hospital in the soo for a leaking aortic aneurysm and with a poor prognosis. All of her children have gathered but as she makes it to day 5 coherent and without pain we all start to feel some relief...although only partial; aneurysms are time bombs. Of course she made me promise right away that I would still go on my trip to Bermy, regardless of what happened to her. It is good to be leaving with her in relatively good condition but not easy knowing I really may not see her again (of course I am thinking positively but I can't deny that I worry). They key is keeping her blood pressure down; not a small feat which you would understand if you knew my grandmother (aka. Nana).

Speaking of changes, I had come home with very few expectations and everything has surpassed them. I fell into a great church, a great job and was readily accepted back into a group of friends (some new, some old). On top of all that I really had not been looking to meet anyone as I plan to take off for a few months to Peru; I guess life has a way of catching you off guard. His name is Mark. I wasn't expecting him...

Somebuddy call Mensa, and git me ma pokin' stick

I dont' talk about my family too much on here but right about now I"m going to do a bit of bragging. Basically I have the coolest little bro. And at under 15 he is also the smartest, I would go so far as a genius. The kid never studies, never, I have never seen it happen but his average is around 90.

but the real reason he is electrode-brain-test worthy is he just seems to know how to do things, especially with electronics (and it isn't from my dad because often my dad can't even help him with his projects). Por ejemplo: Today I come home from work and Dave has taken a little battery powered radio, turned it into an amp, hooked it up to an electric guitar and then, get this, takes a caribeaner (sp) and hooks the amp/radio to his belt loop and walks around. Voila! Miniature portable amp for those times you want to stalk someone and have the option of great acoustics. I'm already making him promise me things like expensive vacations when he is rich.

Deciding What I Want

My plans to spend three months in South America this coming fall will not be easily swayed. That doesn't mean that things don't come up that would make it easy (and profitable) to stay.

In the last two days I have been offered one position and one interview for good career-building jobs, here, in the soo. Settling down sounds easy. It sounds safe. Will those opportunities come up again? What will I do when I return from S.A., work at a regular job until I can go away to school? Maybe I won't figure out what I want to study so I won't go to school. Could I settle down?

My boss took me out for lunch yesterday (randomly), we'll call him Dwayne. There isn't anyone else who makes me consider where I am going in life and what I want out of what I'm doing than Dwayne. His stand-by advice is that the key is to figure out what makes you happy but that it took him 60 years to do it. It really is about the process.

Career woman or carefree young traveler?

ahead by a century

"That is why we are told not to judge. We see only the results which a man's choices make out of his raw material [psychological/biological make-up and upbringing]. But God does not judge him on the raw material at all, but on what he has done with it. Most of the man's psychological makeup is probably due to his body: when his body dies all that will fall off him, and the real central man, the thing that chose, that made The best or the worst of this material, will stand naked. All sorts of nice things which we thought our own, but which were really due to good digestions, will fall off some of us: all sorts of nasty things which were due to complexes or bad health will fall off others. we shall then, for the first time, see ever one as he really was. There will be surprises"
~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

This not only makes me feel a bit guilty but gives me great hope. Some pensing is in order.

Change isn't so scary

First, facebook has found another way to siphon my time (not that its as valuable as it was when I was in school, but still!). I added the 'iread' application and my love for books coupled with my slightly OCD tendency to HAVE TO INCLUDE EVERY BOOK I HAVE EVER READ and then COMMENT ON THEM is using up considerable time. I guess as long as i'm entertained, but why couldn't facebook only be powered by my sweat (ie. be bike or running powered).

yesterday I decided that long hair was not longer what I wanted.

I made a little change.

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike....

For my graduation present I received a snazzy new bi-cycle for zipping around town. It was difficult to choose one since I first wanted a cool street comfort bike (a "sit-up-and-beg" in Brit slang) but then they didn't look as cool or practical in real life.

Here is my final selection:

It has done a pretty decent job of getting me off my lazy butt and biking around the city. Hills are still killer but I'm on it. Today I rode it to ultimate, played ultimate (poorly might I add, but at least I sweat a disgusting amount) and then back. Tomorrow the goal is to the library and back and then, later on in the evening, to girls night. The one downside is the stinky kick-stand they attached to it since it did not come with one (what??? is it childish to want to stand your bike up?). This bike-stander-upper is not firmly secured as is always flopping around. Overall a good ride, now I just have to work on the roads themselves: the Soo is NOT a bike friendly city.

I Laughed so Hard

Heard on a new episode of what not to wear: They team and family were discussing the bland wardrobe of the chosen one when her husband kindly compared it to vanilla.

In total agreement Stacey added: "Yes, why be vanilla when you could be...oh...tutti frutti...*turns and looks at Clinton*...or....

Clinton: *busts out laughing* "Don't look at me when you say tutti frutti"

Officially the first remark eluding to Clinton's 'orientation'. So sad, I will never marry him.

Sigh of Satisfaction is in Order

Work today was work. The satisfaction came from doing something for someone else and being with great people. A young couple in our church with a 1 year old just bought their first house next to the Pastor's house. Being an older home it needed quite a bit of work and for the last few weeks they have been gutting it and refinishing in order to move in....eventually.

They happened to be going out of town this week so a group from our church got together and spent the evening painting for them. There were so many people that there wasn't really enough painting to go around so another woman and I explored the backyard and found a very disheveled, but once beautiful, garden. The next few hours we gradually increased our team and weeded, chopped, dug and replanted. They will have a few newly pruned gardens to look forward to. The company was wonderful too, can't find a nicer bunch of people.

Although I am a sucker. Jelena likes to bug me and call me mom because I sometimes nurture and I like to insist that she is incorrect. Well, she may be right. Tonight I was inside with the Pastor's son (he's only 3) and i'm washing my hands and he says "oops, i'm peeing on the floor". Well there isn't anything we could do about it so into the bathtub he goes. Being a 'mom' like person in spurts is fun.

I have been.....

PASSPORT'D!!!!!!!

As of 10:58 am I have been granted the permission of the Canadian government and her majesty the Queen to travel abroad with the protection of the Canadian government (hmmm, do I really feel safe?).

This seems very appropriate for my 200th post. A life goal achieved. An end to anxiety over a useless $400 ticket to the Isle of Bermuda. A terrible picture of myself enshrined in forgery protected laminate for 5 years.

wheelin' and dealin'

Apologies for the cheesy title but its true! Saturday was garage sale day as usual but a little twist was that I taked my bike and did it all that way. Since I am mostly in the market for books and jewelry my packsack was sufficient carrying capacity and proved a good deterrent when people tried to force large items on me; "oh haha, that would be cool but I may have a hard time getting it home *gestures towards bicylcle*". It was such a good workout, and it put me in a good mood for sures.

The finds:
The Secret Garden: 50 cents (purchased slightly out of pity and awkwardness but the movie was good)
Prozac Nation: 50 cents
A Million Little Pieces: 25 cents (I am aware of the untrueness controversy around this book and was not that inclined to read it but I couldn't pass up owning it for such a bargain!)
Lemony Snicket book 6: 25 cents (again, don't intend to read it but a beautiful hardcover for this price had to be snatched; i'll find a child who reads them)
Grimms' Fairy Tales: 25 cents (its a classic)
The BFG: 35 cents (it ws by donation so I felt cheap giving 25 cents haha)

The whole day was wonderful. I stopped by the pastor's house at the end of saling because they were having one so I thought I'd say hola and ended up there all day. Eating cake, playing with their 3-year-old son, going to the fair, out for ice cream, across the river; a very full day! After spending all that time outside (over 12 hours) who is pretty much exactly the same colour of white as she was before? not even a sun burn to show for it and i had no sunscreen on.

ate waterchestnuts wrapped in bacon, now i'm lying awake

An honest-to-goodness, west-coast-grown, bandanna-wearing HIPPIE! My new role model. This shouldn't be something novel having spent 4 wonderful years in Guelph however there are two key differences: 1) she's in the soo (an uncommon breed) and 2) she is over 30, has kids and is still hardcore

The hippies at Guelph have have yet to pass a true credibility test having only lived solo-hippie without the responsibility of other people. It is easy to shun cars and microwave pizza pockets when there is only you to transport and you don't have a 15 year old son begging for processed fat for lunch. Give them 10 years and half of them will cave. But this lady, she has 4 kids (ranging from 1 year to 15 years) and faithfully grows (nurtures actually, which makes it difficult for her to eat them) her own sprouts, buys organic and local (not so easy 'round these parts I might add), hikes....ok i know she does more hippie things but I'm tired and I forget.

Before running off to the ladies night and having the hippie talk I came across some neat-o websites for hippies and travellers (often one in the same). I was researching travel after realizing that "hey, if I really am going to spend 3 months in south america I'm actually going to have to invest in more than a new tube of toothpaste and an umbrella".

There is a coolio site for solo lady travellers.
Another for treehugging that has eco-friendly tips for every part of life, including travel.

someone is now getting overexcited to ready herself for a trip. This gives her many more things to watch for at garage sales!!!

i want the real deal

lately I think I have been trying to fool myself. I want things like a boyfriend, eventually a husband and a family. I want that man to be godly, generous and submitted to God. All the things that right now, I am not. In fact, I don't really feel like trying to be like that; god has disappointed me and i don't want to put in the work to build that relationship. So I dress well, put on make-up (just in case), help with Sunday school, stand during worship, talk about God in group settings (as long as it doesn't get too personal). The sermon today was about healthy families. The pastor was talking about how we have to prepare for having a healthy family before we even meet someone and when we are healthy spiritually and emotionally God will bring someone alongside us that is as well. Maybe I'm trying to fool God then. It's like serving plastic chicken. i could dress it up, even simulate that great BBQ chicken smell, set the table all nice, follow the recipe but when it comes down to it the chicken is plastic and eventually there will be no covering it up; you'll always get to the part where someone tries to take a bite.

Thats me, the fake chicken. Maybe i could find myself a godly man but it won't take long until he realizes that the christianity is only superficial, that I can talk about God but cringe when asked to talk to him, that I can hear the Bible read to me and take in sermons but squirm when sitting down to read my own. Two lovely ladies at church said they have someone in mind for me (oh don't even get me started on ste-ups, oy) and to let them know when I'm ready. That was more true than they know and it could be a long time.

sad but true

I am blogging at work. There is no one here...really who wants to look for a job on the Saturday of the long weekend? maybe it will pick up of the afternoon. At least I am now over half way through "the Bluest Eye" by toni Morrison which I grabbed at the library the other night. I went to drop off some finished books and came back with 6 new ones: one fiction, 5 non. If I can ever get through the two I'm still reading from the last trip I will get to read about the history of salt, Einstein's brain, how our food today may cause mental illness and a few other things.

I have work down. Home down; although I don't really hang out with my family like I did last summer. I ever exercise fairly regularly (going to the gym tonight), go to church and sometimes bother to call people. The goal now is to build up a more routinized life outside of work. Tonight at the gym I will check out the classes they offer; maybe they will motivate me to workout harder. I want to volunteer. A few people have given me spanish contacts. The woman I spoke with yesterday (a guy at the other office just dials her number and hands me the phone: here, be friends) said my accent is good, so i my grammar but what I really need to do is spend time listening to the radio or something to improve my comprehension. Its true, I have a very hard time listening to native speakers and deciphering their words.

Just four more hours of work to go.

Successful day!

Second day of garage sale season and there were deals to be had!

laura and I went out at 8 but I'm a bit less militant this year so there was no predetermined route and we even stopped to grab tea and breakfast.
Katie's total: $3.20
Purplish/pink beaded neclace, the Life of Pi (book) and angela's Ashes (book): $1
The Secret Life of Bees (book): $1
Reading Lolita in Tehran (book): $1

Laura's total: $11
*Laura is married (almost two years now!) and they purchased a house a few months ago
6 wooden, folding chairs (to be painted black and used outside): $10
*it was perfect, she said the one thing she was really hoping for was 6 matching outdoor chairs which I informed her was unlikely but we would keep looking
Stack o'national geographics (for art projects): $1

Overal, a good day. Its always more fun when everyone that goes finds something.

relevant dragon-slaying skills

My new job is fun. And boring. I am learning quite a bit about office politics but that is about as far as I will take that comment. It is pretty relaxed and for now i can pick and choose most of my own projects. Yesterday myself and lady at work decided that the one resume template on a disk that had been passed around for clients to use was not great and, well, there was just one; I made two more and learned about different styles of resume like the functional (not really a fan to be honest but I can see it has its benefits)

there have been some rewarding experiences: students walking in and having no idea where to start with a resume and me sitting down with them, us brainstorming (any awards? certificates? anything?) and coming out with something that they are proud of. So if there is one thing I see quite a bit of it is resumes. Before I go on I would like to make a disclaimer: I am not the bestest resume writer, I still have uber amounts to learn about the art; but I know a good one when I see one and I can create a reasonable one.

Things I have seen and would not recommend that you copy (yes, most of these were produced by high school grads, some uni grads so I'm not picking on the grade 9's)

1. A photo of yourself at the top (uh, it makes me not even want to read the resume, especially if it's a casual, poorly cropped photo to begin with. It isn't a modeling position so its a bit arrogant to be counting on your good looks)
2. Bullets that do not match up: now I'm not talking one section slightly off line from another (although avoid this too) but masses of bullet points sloping down the page creating a summit of qualifications)
3. One big paragraph with no attempt to separate...well...anything!
4. If you are hoping to be a cashier you don't need to tell me that you enjoy "hanging out with friends" as a hobby or interest (not really useful unless you are applying to, um, work for a beer party team? Although then I think they'll notice your cup-size before reading your nifty chronological work history)
5. tacky dollarama cloud print paper (after having the experience of reading through them I can tell you that no, coloured paper does not help your case. Actually it's annoying. Maybe (maybe) slightly off-white, maybe a bit thicker or better quality (not white cardboard thick, mind you). Mostly its the styling and consistency on the page, the overall layout that will make me want to find out more.

there you have it, hopefully you were already past these little faux pas but if not, run right now and fix them and then pretend like you never had those problems and snicker at those poor saps who included their references right on the resume or included three pages of experience for a floor-cleaning job (uh it happens, don't get me started)

Tomorrow is garage-saling, it doesn't look especially promising but you just never know.

Character Flaw

there is an inherent selfishness inside myself that i battle against every day. Call is the fall, call it instinct (although I probably wouldn't) but its there. The thing that I am often very selfish with is my time. After being at work all day there is nothing I want to do except be by myself to do whatever it is I feel like doing. That is what I call free time. But i need a different view of free time. It should be any time that I fill doing things that make life worth living, including building relationships and giving my time to others.

This relates to some behaviour that I am not entirely proud of. I have a sister. She is almost 20. She doesn't drive. Every time I have to give her a ride somewhere I only do so with various groans and annoyed reminders that she really should learn how to drive (or other lovely peices of advice that she has obviously appreciated and taken to heart). It i'm going to drive her it doesn't help either of us for me to act like a spoiled child and I hereby commit to trying to drive her around graciously from now on.

Also, I stopped by my grandmother's house on the way home because she needed help with something. I like visiting her and helping but still, I was on a rush out so I could have my "free time". To do what with? Blog? Watch TV? Read? Woop-de-poo. I need to start not just spending more time doing the things and with the people that are important to me but to be there/with them and enjoying myself.

Firsts

After work today i settled in for an episode of 90210 where they dealt with the very relevant topic of stereotypes and racial minorities. Good ol' walsh family is always ahead of the times in terms of political correctness. Luckily the Hispanic girl had to return to East LA so they didn't have to write her into the show longterm as Brandon's new love interest, wouldn't want to stray from the entirely beige cast for more than a token lesson.

There isn't much to report on the first day at my new job (although I kept adding up in my head how much I had made each hour). Every two weeks i get three day weekend (although the other weekends I get a one day weekend, ah well its a good trade-off). It makes visiting friends down south a little more realistic when spending 13 hours on the bus bus. Today mostly consisted of getting used to basic office stuff, signing people up for our job program, making calls, entering data. Probably the best thing was biking to work, home for lunch and back and then home again. If i keep that up plus the free YMCA membership I get for working where I work (i know, when do the perks end?) I may get in shape for Bermy!

Junk in my trunk

First garage-saling trip of the season: done and done.
Expenses: $4.00
returned with: car with less gas, four necklaces and a set of dominoes.
I actually do not know how to play dominoes (other than knocking them down) but my bro can teach me so good investment in learning say I. The necklaces are one pearl (fake but real looking and beige), a navy one with small glass beads, a green one with three strands and funkiness and a cheapy bead one in fun pink. Mostly I never pay more than $1 for a necklace but I grabbed two out of the 50 cent bin at this old people housing place and when I went to pay the woman claimed that one should have been in with the $2 jewels but I liked it and she was old and I didn't want to look like a jerk so I took it. I just can't argue with old people!

Anoche (last night) salio por el club (I went out to 'the club' or so it would be called here). It was actually the first time I have ever been into a bar while it was open in the Sault. I know, what a party animal! I had one drink before leaving the Moore's place. It was the Moore sisters' birthdays (not twins but one day apart) so I met them there and we all headed to Docks. I'll give them credit: if Docks was in Guelph it wouldn't tank. It was ok and I didn't really run into anyone awkward from high school. Check!

I am job

Monday morning I have to wake up early. That's ok, because I have a JOB!!!! Woot! The call came at 9:05 this morning and I reached for it: EMPLYMNT CONNCTS. First call of the day, they MUST love me. I will be working in an employment office helping high school students (and some adults i'm sure) apply for jobs, write resumes and cover letters, a little data entry here and there. The great part: they are totally cool with me skipping out for a week for Ash and Ryan's wedding in the big Bermy. Could life get much better?

Also: we have to work every second Saturday (it has to be open times when High school students can come in) but its never earlier than 10am meaning....drum roll....I can still garage sale every weekend! Prepare to be amazed.

Still waiting on my passport

Today I biked to the store instead of taking the easier route of snagging my mom's van. The sad thing is that I wouldn't have thought twice about driving even though I don't exactly have a day filled with excitement and its only about a 10 min ride. The sadder thing is that the hill on the way back ate me for lunch and then puked me up and ate me for a snack. Yes, it was a very steep hill but still, I'm not old, I'm not even middle aged. Don't read this sentence if you're a conservative male (or just boys, stop reading) but: it felt like my uterus was doused in gasoline and lit on fire. How is that for a simile? Maybe it was my lower abs but I would like to think I know the difference. Is this normal when one is out of shape and does very physically demanding exercise? Ok, I promise not to make too many more remarks like that.

In less squeamish news I have a few interviews coming up. Sigh, I just want money so I can travel. Discovering my life passion would be sweet too but one step at a time.

Shout Out

Being back home I have spent most of my time reading, job searching (hours at Job Connect: they have free printing, hey hey) and getting back in touch with friends. Its nice to have people that feel like you never left.

Last night I biked over to Laura and Jay's house and just a-chilled there. Their small pad is decorated by L's own art work (digital prints and paintings) most of them she did for her 4th year thesis to finish her undergraduate degree in Fine Arts. Her work is fantastic and I am still planning how to quietly remove some of the prints while she isn't looking.

For Example:
More of her stuff can be found online here.
Don't even say you don't like it, because you do.

Nothing unusual

As usual, I was home for only one day and already hit the library. Hard. After the third trip down south in 6 days my brain has eaten a good chunk of "Paris 1919" and "Mere Christianity". So far the first is fantastic food for the ol' neurons; there is so much to learn about the Treaty of Versailles considering how much it shaped the face of Europe and the Middle East. The latter book it beautifully written. Having already claimed to dislike Christian literature this is in a different class. Although what I'm looking for is that relationship, well-written or poorly written, I don't think a book can make it real all of a sudden.

Tomorrow I have to start the torturous process of job hunting. The interview I traveled back to the north for last week went well but apparently not well enough: someone else got it. It just means I'll be sticking to the plan to spend as much time as possible in South America, but first I need some money.

On these many trips by car through the Canadian shield we saw some interesting things. A truck with its cab full of boxes blazing on the side of the road. A black bear. Evidence of greed. The water levels of the great lakes the the road curves around are the lowest since the 1930s. Hundreds of feet of sand that hadn't been dry in decades are growing grass. One likely culprit is the U.S. more or less secretly draining the water for their own use. Just like the bumble bees being thrown off course by our obsession with cell phones all of our actions have repercussions, some that we will never find, some in areas that couldn't have been guessed.

packing up three years...not so easy

I have a bruise on my leg that happens to be the same gold/brown and purple/green/blue as a dress a designer made on Project Catwalk tonight. I thought the dress was wonderful (even before realizing the unbelievable connection to my ruptured blood vessels) but the judges weren't such big fans.

When would I have to get a giant bruise all over my body to have turned the golden/brown colour all over by the time the Bermuda trip hits?

of space and time

I don't have the heart to tell my family but right now I need space. Not that they haven't given it to me and I'm glad to see them but adjusting to the idea of being finished and being back home just takes time. Like eternity and spandex body suits I can't wrap my mind around my present situation. Done university. The four of us at 236 will never be living together again. If the interview goes well tomorrow I could living in the Sault, with the parents, for a whole year! I'm grown up but have no plans.

Tomorrow is a big interview for a year-long internship with the Rotary club and some other non-profit organizations. Basically I would be doing research and designing a marketing plan for the club in town and working in the office. It is not my ideal job but it pays well and even if I am not thrilled about my degree it could be good experience to try out what I have learned. It scares me and that is why I had to apply and have to do the interview. I am terrified of failing at the job, of not being qualified or ready for it. I can't learn or improve without attempting something I haven't tried before. It is entirely possible that I won't get this position too; there are six other qualified candidates but I'll try. The hardest part is convincing myself to prepare properly for the interview. I despise preparing for interviews but it has to be done.

moving out soundtrack

The three songs on repeat while I pack all of the things I own into cardboard and plastic are:

"Lollipop" by Mika
"Grace Kelly" by Mika
"Aglow" by Sarah Harmer

life just won't slow down.

dessert pizza and cookies so far today

Some spontaneous fun is always in order when celebrating a significant accomplishment. Yesterday I dressed myself, oh, and I finished university. In relation to one of the two aforementioned activities Jilly B. and I drove up to London to dance the night away with Mere only to return to Guelph 12 hours later.

Mere lent me a fancier top than I had brought with me, we all donned jeans and some heals and took hector to a downtown club called Old Chicago where salsa is taught every wednesday night. Being somewhat rhythmically challenged I was impressed how quickly I picked up the basic steps and a few moves (aided muchly by the very talented M. Brown). We danced for hours with the rule that if a man asks you to dance you have to accept. Some of the men were fantastic dancers and led so well that it made us/me look like I belonged on the dance floor. Jack would pause for a moment at the beginning of each song the band churned out and then proclaim it to be "Merengue", "salsa", or "bachata" (none of which meant much for me in terms of movement) and then would start to move. He would also whisper little hints ("ok, now walk backwards" or my favorite "im going to spin, you just keep dancing around me"). Did I mention that Jack is about 65 and a dance instructor on a cruise ship? He would tug at the front of his shirt with the thumb and index finger of both hands each time he mentioned his widow friends in cape cod. Our other new friends included an older Indian man, Pierre from the south of France and an Asian student who may or may not have reached 5 feet. A great night finished off even better with a good chat until 3 am with hannah before I must have dozed off and let her and Mere tuck me in on the couch.

coughing up all those butterflies

DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE
FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FIN

MY UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE HAS BEEN COMPLETED!

This needed to be recorded. I have no specific emotions. My stomach was in twisties after the exam, likely from releasing all the stress I held inside it today and over the last little while. Now comes the scary part though, moving on from the familiar to the unfamiliar. What is out there?

"They knew better, because you said forever"

Board games and group games are definitely a love of mine. I won't disclose anything else I like now lest you happen to come over and play my game. Its called Whoonu by the makers of cranium. The beauty of the game is that it fits into about 15 minutes. Its best with 5 or 6 people and is similar to "apples to apples" except all the cards say random items on them like hotdogs, the weather network, musicals, etc. Each person gets a few cards except for one person who gets to be the Whoonu. They players with the cards must then choose the one card in their hand that they think the Whoonu would like the best and gives it to them upsidedown. The whoonu then rates all the things on the cards in order from most liked to least. Points are awarded accordingly and everyone passes their cards to the left; someone else taking the title of Whoonu. Ok, it is jolly fun even if it doesn't sound it.

To continue with entertainment, I finally watched a film a friend had been raving about all year and thoroughly enjoyed it. "La Grand Seduction" is a Quebecois film set in a small fishing village dependent on welfare since the fish ran out. The towns last hope is to bid for a factory moving into the province. The major drawback is the lack of a doctor so they set out to lure one. Through some interesting circumstances a doctor agrees to spend a month in the town to try it and the townspeople set up a plan to make him fall in love with the village. They tap his phone lines, watch new sports and catch frozen fish. The characters are so real and the relationships between the main character Germain and his best friend Yvon is wonderful, they have obviously spent their while lives in a town with no more than 125 people and love each other very much. I recommend. There is some strong sexual innuendo right at the start and the finish but its french and other than that its about as clean a movie as you will get.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Today I sold back some of my textbooks for $77.15. For about 5 texts. Oh the crime. To celebrate I decided to spend the money as if it had never been mine (a good idea, no?). To the mall I went after my exam today (three down, one to go!) with the intent to purchase a satin top from Le Chateau only to realize that I didn't love it as much as I had the first time. So instead I spent $89 + tax for a suit at smart set. It was justified practically solely on the price. A whole suit! For less than $100! I have a suit already but its black and heavy and this one is lighter (both in colour and material) and could pass as a summer suit.

Also, the thought of spring (although obviously not the appearance or feel of spring outside) has brought out some of my long patient accessories. The best piece added was actually bought at a garage sale last summer from an old lady for about $1. I doubt I even paid that much. I would place it in the early 70s and so tacky its great but I have probably received more "That is a great purse!"'s and "where did you get that"'s than for my more conventional wardrobe items. It pays to be a junk picker.

Another Night, Another Dream (but always who?)

So, don't read this if you're tired of my dreams. I get a break every time I finish studying a case for my exam tomorrow so I am using the time to record another dream I had that, as usual, was just so wacked-out I don't want to forget it.

Mostly it involved people whom I am friends with in my program. We were driving back to Guelph from Barrie I believe and were estimating it to take about 3 hours, arriving in at midnight. We were all anxious to get back on time because we all had to study for a big exam the next day (actually, I think one of my housemates was there as well and was planning on waking up at 3:45 to study the next day, a time that kept getting pushed forward throughout the dream)

Somehow we ended up in an airport and could not get through the parking lot due to some odd construction going on. We had to park the car, go through some back alleys, climbing over things and through fences, etc. where we reasoned that we would be able to retrieve out car. We spend quite a bit of time doing this only to end up on the roof of a building which we need to jump across to another platform to be safe. About 20 stories below was a road and some vendors selling fruits and baskets. I decided to try and went out to the edge only to come back believing that i would never make it across jumping and proposing to try to jump straight down and break my fall on the vendors canopies (Aladdin style?). In the end someone else tried to jump and we believe he was killed on the street (no worries, I didn't see it in my dream). Eventually we all decided to jump and aim for a window of the building, hoping to crash through.

I jump and make it into a window where a man working at his desk threatens me to leave. I immediately blackmail him back and somehow set up a trap with electrical cords so he cannot get out. I meet up with my classmates in the hallway and we walk through the building at one point stumbling upon a casino and picking up decks of cards discarded all over the room. (I mean, who doesnt' want decks and decks of cards when they are trapped in a building?)

The time keeps getting later and we realize we will now not likely be home until 3am or later. How will we ever study? The last part of the dream consists of us finding some political debates set up in large offices (resembling classrooms on the second floor of MacKinnon). The debates were hosted by young students representing their parties and kept changing. The speakers just never seemed to be loud enough and we kept asking them to speak up. Thats about all I got.

Weird thought during the dream: we were driving on the road and I was worried about there being drivers from other countries and ethnic backgrounds (mostly Chinese and arab) on the road. Not because I have any stereotypes about them being bad drivers but I thought it unsafe that they had their own driving styles of driving diagonally and sideways. Hmm??? I think it had something to do with the linguistics book I was reading before bed where different cultures write in different directions (the somethings in Gullivers travels write diagonally

Weird, weird, weird.

only in my dreams

This is an attempt to record a dream I had last night. It was so surreal, real feeling and I can remember minute details.

twelve people, myself, a housemate and 10 strangers are on a interactive survivor/amazing-race but without the TV cameras. We have to complete tasks one after another for which we have to find clues, complete the task and return to a dock in a shallow lake. The first person to return after each round gets a prize.

The setting: a well-lit forest in the summer on a lake front. In the dream I believe that its the soo but it more closely resembles the area near our previous home in wawa.

The challenges: one challenge involved a clue about water flowing in and out. Everyone spent hours trying to figure out the clue to be able to find ... well...another clue i suppose. All the strain caused me to lie down when i had a sudden flash of brilliance. Water in and out: TIDES! So i jumped up, dug around in a bulk container of TIDE laundry detergent and found a glass bottle with a few pieces of paper inside.
eventually we were all walking through an alley (but not a sketchy one) in what we thought was downtown Calgary. For some reason i seemed to know where I was and even claimed to have been there before with Hannah (could have been in another dream). Of course we were racing so I decided to run because i knew there was a business district ahead. My endurance was incredible, but i was running awkwardly with tiny steps. I considered correcting it but decided to go with it since it seemed I could run forever like that.
Eventually we reached an area where we had to pair off and run a McDonalds and we would be judged on how profitable we were able to be that day. i paired with this blonde haired guy (who, although he was made up by my brain, I had quite the crush on him and was glad to be paired up). We went into the Mcdonalds and somehow (luckily) I just ended up playing with children in a small classroom. They all seemed to know who I was saying i had volunteered there before.

The last challenge I remember was we were given a location we had to find as a team. Everyone got something different and once there we had to complete a task. We had to find an old castle converted into something and answer 99 questions about old movies. Another group had to find an abandoned diamond mine in the bush (ps. i was upset because i knew exactly where it was). We could not locate this place, we got out the yellow pages, called all these old castles (yeah, all the old castles in the soo...?) to no avail. It ended somewhere there.

Many of my dreams tend to end in some type of frustration and repetition of the same task only to get nowhere. Even still, it was a good change from the "having to go to the bathroom and not being able to find one" that happens quite often.

home all weekend and a little stir crazy

I am actually looking forward to the American elections. They can't seem to come soon enough. Maybe this isn't all that unusual since most Americans are doing the 'pee-pee-dance' of anticipation when someone, anyone, but Bush will be in charge. What interests me most is the way it looks right now with the US two-party system it will either be a woman or a black man. I must admit I thought it would be decades longer before either of those events occurred but it looks like the set up could be perfect. Sadly, it looks like the US will even be beating us in terms of electing someone other than a white man (yes, Kim Campbell, but that was by default and for three months so I move to strike that from the record in terms of this discussion).

Speaking from a purely biased perspective and considering almost solely race, ethnicity and maybe overall political party I have to say that i want Hillary to win. Do I like her? Meh. Do I know a whole lot about what she stands for other than 'liberalness'? Not so much yet. But, she's a woman. If I had my choice of which underrepresented group to take office it would be a woman. Like i said, i'm completely biased having only X chromosomes to go with. Her win would be a victory for more people though, think about it...half the country is female. Black women benefit too. So do hispanic ones.

I could be mistaken but I could see Hillary winning partly by default. There are so many people now that will vote anything but republican in the US so point for her. Also, the same people who are still going to vote republican (ie. the real texans with lots of oil money), i'm willing to bet that a large percentage of them don't like Black people. I guess for them it's a lesser of two evils maybe? That is where I think Obama is quite clever. There has been quite a bit of publicity circling him and much of it is disguised as against but really could do quite a bit for his campaign. What i'm talking about is are the theories that are saying that he isn't Black. *gasp* I know, i've seen pictures of him too. I believe most of the theories point out that he is actually not "african-american-Black" in the sense that he is not actually a descendant of slaves but of pure African ancestry (maybe he's mixed too...that is just my speculation). Some people think that this makes him not Black.

How does this work in his favour? Well, if he gets people to go out there and look like they are attacking him with these theories he gains in one way. Those hardcore republicans feel better about voting for him (hey, he ain't really black) and this doesn't really hurt his Black vote because 1) most Black people hate republicans 2) those who were going to vote for him probably don't really care, hey, he look a whole lot more black than white, don't he?

There is my entirely biased and likely politically incorrect interpretation.

Canadiana

"Some people think I eat too many chocolate bars or that I don't wash my face. My brother says that I will grow out of it, but right now, I don't think so..."

This commercial was quoted endlessly in elementary school. Poor acne kid, I wonder where he is now. And a point of clarification: not SPANISH !! He was Quebecois! Or maybe native. But not spanish!

basic emotions

I am sad that this year is almost done
I am sad that 'twas not my very most fun
I am sad that I'll have to say goodbye
I am sad, so sad I just might cry

I am glad that there'll be no more exams
I am glad that i've avoided eating SPAM
I am glad that travel, I finally will
I am glad, so glad i can't sit still

I am tired of reading my textbooks
I am tired of our drain being clogged by gook (ie. j.well's hair)
I am tired of sitting 'round and studying
I am tired to the point my brain be puddlin'

I'll miss the pile of laundry in my closet,
i'll miss when sarah whistles and ashley doesn't
i'll miss the dirty grey-carpet stairs
I'll miss the comfy rozanski chairs

I'll miss the people that i know
I'll miss the walking to and fro
I'll miss strolling down wineguard
I'll miss the cannon and...crazy people in the UC

Sigh. A poet, I will never be. I was going for a bit of a green eggs and ham thing but I really am sad to be done!

Jesus was fully human too

When it comes to Jesus it can be very difficult (impossible?) to understand the dichotomy of fully God and fully man. This often leaves me imagining him as God trapped inside a human body. However, this isn't right. To be fully human he would have had to have limitations. Could it be that he even had limitations on his understanding? Ok, I can't find this verse right now so please correct me if I am mistaken but I believe the Bible says that we cannot see God because it would be so awesome and overwhelming that we would die right then and there. Our understanding of God is so limited by what can be processed and fathomed by our finite brains. Would Christ have fully understand God? Would he have really known the glory of heaven that he was to ascend back to and sit at the right hand of God or did he know only as much as God was able to reveal to him with his human brain? Don't get me wrong, I think he had a better understand than I do, or any of us really will but still, was it limited?

He must have had to trust God. Actually trust him that this was the best decision, that glory was waiting beyond death, that his death would bring salvation to the world. How does this relate to John 11, the death of Lazarus? Well, I did say loosely but we were discussing it in a Bible discussion group and came across the verse "Jesus wept" (John 11:35). the question, of course, is why? The easy and obvious answer is that he was sad that his friend died, duh. Granted. But my first reaction to that was still: isn't that weird? Why would he cry moments before seeing his friend's tomb if he knew that his friend would be raised from the dead in just a few minutes? He should be anxious to get it done and rejoicing if anything. But, instead, he weeps.

From a human perspective this makes sense. A human body and mind are bound by time. Even though Christ knew that Lazarus could be raised (and that it would happen) he still had to trust this (if you look he gives the glory to God and thanks God for doing what he asked, Christ could still only do it through the power of his father being limited by the human form) and at that moment his friend was dead. I have a feeling this is does not make a boatload of sense the way that it is written but the main point is that Christ was human. The fully human part is just as important as the fully God part. There was likely a time in his life that God was revealing his plan to him, times when he was afraid, times when he didn't really know what his future held but just that God had a plan of redemption and that he was part of it. It is hard for me to wrap my teeny brain around this. Challenge me if something seems blasphemous but this is hefty stuff (for me at least~!)

Who spends over 5 hours in the mall?!?!

Two things my mother says one should never cheap on:
1) Shoes (you only get one pair of feet and they take you everywhere)
2) moisturizer (treat yo face nice)

I have been mulling (in my brain) quite a bit about the humanity of Christ and the implications of that. It is itching to be posted however, I will wait until I am a bit more coherent since it could come out just plain wrong or incomprehensible otherwise. I'll give a hint: it is mildly related to John 11, the death of Lazarus.

call me Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock

Gmail is a wonderful SPAM catcher with few unwanted emails getting into my inbox. Sometimes, for entertainment, I go into my SPAM folder just to see what is there. These emails have gotten more creative and make me question if they are generated by a 'random word generator' in hopes that someone will be fooled by the subject matter or name. Well the chances of me being fooled by these names are slim. Does anyone know a:

hot-water bottle Cordosa?
how about his cousin (her?)
Webber Z. Austin who is offering me a gardener scholarship
no?
then you must know the esteemed Cisneros Q. Theodora, the most famous astronomer of the 21st century
surely you know him? How about the crazy old man down the road
Mr. Watty B. Tapia. What good times we have had. He must be mad because why else would he write me an email about significant fishnets

i think that if I have children I will n ame them by opening my spam folder and choosing the 4th name I find.

Rolf Crum (british for sure), McDermott G. Lewie, Moody William (someone never lost their childhood nickname the time they threw a tantrum at their birthday party), Dottie Sue (first time off daddy's farm), and we can't forget Velanzuela R. Bel

things i'll miss about guelph part II

the courtyard is full again but this time everyone sits along the edges to give the dancers room to work. Work? Move. seizure? It is contemporary dance and I can't tell the difference between the 4 year olds who are hopping and flowing to the music in the intermission.

No inhibitions. One lies on her back with all of her limbs straight up and hands and feet limp. Hippie kids raised at Guelph. My children will be raised in a university town.

We have discovered the a girl who lives three doors down from us owns three identical black chihuahuas that go outside on pink leashes. My first reaction upon hearing this would be to gag at the thought of that many ankle-biters but no, they are adorable and I will have a soft spot in my heart for them. I have been needing a dog these past few weeks. normally I don't wish for an animal but the idea of a warm companion that makes you feel special all the time.

What I'll Miss about Guelph

Sun is streaming through the skylights in the UC and a funky band is jamming a sweet beat on various percussions, some electric guitars and a sitar. The beat pulses in my feet but it feels like it belongs there, or I belong here. Hippie kids sway in the sun patches not with any particular rhythm. The smell of coffee blends into the mix from the table on the other side of the courtyard where well-meaners give out free fair trade coffee and chocolate. No slave labour. I forgot all my cash in my blue jacket. Useless guy in the band (you know, the one who plays the triangle) reminds be of a cross between Encino Man and a funky bongo player in a pilates video we used to do at 54 Yewholme.
It is nice to just take this all in calmly. Maybe I shouldn't be this calm since i realized while trekking to school that as of the end of my last exam I have no definite future plans. Scratch that. i have a ticket to Bermuda. Other than that nothing is for sure. This is unprecedented in my life, I have nothing to reference, maybe that is why I don't know what to feel. Which brings us to today's word: Sigh.

A new song

One of my favourite music artists is Tracy Chapman. While walking across the field to Emily's house for our joint birthday dinner one of songs started to repeat in my head. Then I couldn't help but hum it and eventually sing it quietly as I squished through the wet grass.

She's got her ticket
I think she gonna use it
I think she going to fly away
No one should try and stop her
Persuade her with their power
She says that her mind is made
Up

...But she knows where her ticket takes her
She will find her place in the sun

Some of the lyrics were left out because they don't apply however, this chorus at least is my new song. I have my ticket, I plant to use it and it will take me to the Island of Bermuda! $407.65 CDN to become a traveler and to finally experience the ocean. Hopefully this will be my song many more times after that.

"Let that Be Enough" is no longer relevant

Right now I have that post-birthday mellowness. Not only am I older but the celebration is over. It does not bother me to admit that I love birthdays because it is an excuse to feel special for an entire day. I can't complain because I really did.

What the day made me think about was love languages; how each person shows their love in a different way. Sometimes those ways aren't compatible. I think my love language is quality time. Or maybe it is gifts. Whatever it is the sure fire way to get me is to do something thoughtful like spend time making something or to write a personal note in a card or give me a small gift that reminded that person of me. The way I show love is similar but not exactly the same. Acts of service best describes what I do. It gives me great joy to do something small for someone I am close to, to surprise them or to help them complete something.

Birthday Re-cap
--I received some very sweet messages on my facebook wall, many from people back home that I just don't get to see enough
--Lunch was with four lovely ladies. The time is what mattered, and the thought that my friend arranged for others to come because I was bummed that everyone would be at FOP for my birthday.
--A certain very talented person played Happy Birthday at the stairs for me on the ACORDIAN! It's pretty hard to get more special than that.
--My house and I ordered pizza (something we actually never do) and ate it on the living room floor and then just chilled until we walked to C4C
--Becky picked up some fancy tea, a travel journal and a framed grad photo of the two of us. I definitely get a little tear-eyed looking at it (or reading the back too) remembering that I really am graduating and I am so comfortable in this place and with these people.
--Sarah made me a beaufiful framed collage of pictures of our house and the Jaxx gave me books on the English language. Talk about thoughtful.
--to finish off the day Sarah and I ate popcorn while hanging out and watching Mythbusters (the one about deadly farts....all I can remember is the farts)

Matthew 7:21-23

This verse is unsettling to me and has been since I heard it. First it was just a matter of assurance of salvation and the fear of one day hearing those words. Being turned away from heaven with those words would be awful.

Taking it deeper though it makes me question the immediacy and guarantee of salvation. Can salvation truly be traced back to the instant that a person prays a prayer and 'asks Christ into their lives'? Even if they mean it and have faith and all that. It specifies the condition of Christ knowing us. In that direction. How could Christ know us the second we pray that prayer? Because technically Christ is God, therefore God/Christ claims to know us intimately (knowing the number of hairs on our heads) even when we aren't 'saved'. So if he knows everything about us before we pray the prayer and we aren't saved then knowing in this sense must refer to something more. This knowing would be active, choosing to share our happiness, trials and learning. Choosing time to get to know Christ. This can't have been done that quickly can it? So when does Christ 'know' us?

thanks for the....electronic steak?

I'll admit it: facebook is growing on me. Now that people in the soo have finally discovered it i actually use it to keep in touch with people that I rarely see or talk to otherwise.

But $1 for 'gifts' made of pixels? ok, they are good for a laugh. Haha, you sent me a picture of goat. But $1? draw them a picture on paint, email a picture that you took, email one you found on google, tell them a joke! What really gets my goat though is that some of them are sold out!! Sold out??!! There are two problems with this in my mind:
1) people paid for these things, lots of people
2) how can you sell out of an electronic cartoon of anything? Sorry, we no longer have the pixels to send that particular mug of hot chocolate but we do have a pearl necklace if you are interested.

Like the miser I am I will save my one free gift until the very perfect moment comes up to use it and never again send a gift over facebook. Stamped it.

How to:

Be a guest at a Classy Conference:

1. Fall asleep during the first panel.
2. play with the translation equipment (spanish. english. spanish. english.)
3. Roll your eyes whenever someone asks a long question.
4. Complain about the quality of the translation (haha, did you hear the male translator correcting the female one in the background?")
5. Skip out early on the last speaker
6. While skipping out, become completely inept at returning said translation equipment requiring someone to run over and help.
7. Grab some of the free sandwiches at a break, wrap them up in napkins, stuff them in purse, enjoy for dinner in car.
8. Smell like free sandwiches while sitting in the audience.

There you have it, a guide to getting invited back to any conference, ever.

All joking aside, the conference was at York and it dealt with Exclusion and violence in Colombia. The day was broken into 4 panels with three speakers each. The focus of the talks was not the drug trade at all (gasp) but the struggle of the indigenous and afro-colombian groups in the country. I was not even aware previously that Colombia once had a thriving slave industry. A middle-aged women with distinctly indigenous south american features sat quietly in the second row. She wore a pale blue cotton dress and layers of colourful beads around her neck in the custom of her people. "Wow, this conference attracted indigenous people who have immigrated to Canada. I wonder if she can understand Spanish, or just her native language." Both apparently. and English. She sat at the panel a little hunched when we came back in after coffee. She spoke about the problems that indigenous women face when trying to protect their land and claim their rights in Colombia. Her perspective was that of former governor of a Colombian state. She looked meek but she had power and conviction.

This is an attempt to share some of the information and tragedy spoken about at the conference.

1. Both indigenous and afro-Colombian peoples finally received recognition in terms of rights to land and to identity by the government in 1991 through a constitution. It is one thing to have rights on paper, another to attempt to claim them
2. Colombia has had a great term of growth in the last decade but is one of the least economically equal countries in the west. Over 60% of people live in poverty.
3. A major problem for indigenous Colombians in the extraction of resources. The government allows foreign companies to ransack rainforests, sends military and paramilitary groups to protect the companies and does not pass any of the benefits to the people. For example: a Canadian corporation built a massive dam upstream from a thriving rain forest community. The result was more money for the government and for the people? The running river turned into stagnant water bringing malaria, malnutrition and death from a lack of protein when the fish could no longer swim downstream to the community, rising water levels forcing them to move to higher ground and destroying sustenance that grew at the waters edge. What can they do? Nothing. It is illegal to hold rallies or marches. 4 leaders who have tried to speak out have been murdered.

4. Women are raped by guerrillas to bring shame on their families. When one 11 year-old reported the assault she was first told by officials that she had brought it on herself and would do best to forget about it. Her father, instead of sympathy, berated her for shaming her family and told her that she was never to speak about it again.

This could easily become a report so I will stop. There is just so much more that I could say. Should corporations be free to go unchecked in foreign countries doing business that harms the population of that country? There needs to be a better system in place. Canada needs to be accountable.

Hold Your Horses

Things I believed as a child:

I thought that BC was the edge of the earth.

A friend told me a 'ghost story' about a princess who was locked away by her stepmother in a tower and died there because her stepmom was jealous of her long beautiful hair. Now she wanders the earth as a ghost to get revenge and anyone who touches her hair turns into a ghost. I was about 5 or 6 (because I still had my own room) and for months after that I slept up against the wall, with the blankets over my head and a small opening near my face for fresh air. It took me another 10-15 years to stop letting people tell me scary stories or watch scary movies.

The cool rock I found in the backyard was a piece of flint and was likely used by natives at some point (ok, I actually think that I still have that rock)

All old homes have really neat old attics with crazy fun stuff like mannequins, pictures of people from the victorian era and letters from the war.

Even though I didn't really believe it I never could stand in front of my mirror and say 'bloody mary' three times.

It is amazing the way that children see the world. It would be fantastic to have the opportunity to see the world as I did as a child just one more time. Everything was so new and exciting. I'm still a very excitable person but it is different. Life has become so complicated by big important things, I don't ever want to forget the little things.

[Editor's Note: I just remembered the reason I had thought of writing this blog. The rational explanation I used to explain the cracks in the asphalt on the roads was that dinosaurs must have done that long long ago (if not dinosaurs it at least had to be all those prehistoric earthquakes i'm sure wawa was getting)]

Shameless Plug

Me. 22. March 23rd. Birthday. mine! Soon!

Party...? Yes. Saturday. this one. Late. 10pm? Becky too. Woot. Woot.

I've been waiting a long time to sing the switchfoot song "Let that be Enough" just for the line "It's my birthday tomorrow, no one here could know. I was born this [friday] 22 years ago"
It's a little sappy but hey, you only get to do that once.

Learned today: I have a penchant for outrageous southern accents. It's eerie. Like I have actually lived in a trailer park and ate beans and weenies while watching Roseanne. Who knows.

Epiphany

It hit me today while reading an example in my Linguistics textbook. The band "Ghoti Hook"...not called "go-tee" hook but FISH hook. man, that could have been embarrassing. This represents a good 10 years of confusion explained.

If this doesn't make any sense, allow me to explain. English is a language that has an alphabet that is terribly unsuited for its job. Not only that but some crazy nuts who started spelling things really did a royally poor job. One dude who was kinda peeved off by this the inconsistency in English spelling proved that one could spell Fish "ghoti" if spelling from other word are applied.

Ie. the 'f' from enough, the "i' sound from women and the 'sh' from nation. Clever, no?

here let's do my name.

the 'k' in chameleon. The 'a' from hey. the 'tie' from "tea"
you get: Cheytea, the new spelling of my name. Its easy, anyone can do it!

Slept in until noon

Last night was my third and final College Royal Ball. I was definitely fortunate to have spent it with a big group of fantastic people. This is likely the first time I have gone where I was not trying to impress anyone, where I left the house without first freaking out about what I was wearing and worrying whether the other girls would look better than I did.

This evening ash, jaxx and I took a walk at 730 to watch the sun set. The spring forward time change is a blessing, even if it hurts for one night.

There are three packed boxes in my room with things that I don't think I'll be needing again before we move out. I have lived in this room for almost three years. At least my furniture has been here this long. The hardest thing to start packing was my books. There is something comfortable about having shelves full of books, however, realistically, I will not be reading most of them in the next month and a bit.

I own about 14 pairs of shoes. Most made in China. A few from places like Vietnam, Cambodia and just one from Canada. Which I happened to purchase at Value Village. Tidbit of information about me: I desire to own a collection of pumps with an rainbow-like assortment of colours.

continued from previous post: Latin America and Al

Topic 2b: My Spanish professor found out that I was not accepted to Argentina. I had emailed her to ask for advice as to which country to visit and if she had heard of any good language immersion programs. She wrote back to say that she had a little chat with someone at the centre for International Programs (well, she didn't call it that but I hope that's what she meant) and I can go. I'm supposed to ask her tomorrow. WHAT? It doesn't work like that does it? And why me? There were 26 or so other people who were not accepted either. You know what is the weirdest part? I've gotten myself so worked up about the idea of another country, a cheaper program, a homestay family, I'm not sure if I want to go on a university exchange anymore. Sigh.

Topic 3: I have recently begun turning to another source for my news. I started regularly checking CBC website for news. Then I added BBC for a broader picture since it caters a bit better to world news than the CBC. Now my new pal is Al Jazeera. I must admit that when I heard that it was a popular and credible news site my first reaction (ok, i'm ashamed) was "I must have heard wrong. How can a credible global, news source come from the middle east??" So I rejected it right away based on my own biases. I decided to give it a chance this past week and I must say that it is not as extensive as BBC in terms of number of stories but it has to be the least biased news source I have encountered and has as wide or greater coverage in terms of countries and geographical areas covered as BBC. I recommend.

3 topics on my brain

topic 1: I'll go for the most superficial first. I have a rant. One of my classes designates a certain portion of our marks to case discussions. This brings out some very annoying, vacuum like behaviour from the class. In order to illustrate my point I will now be facetious.
Professor: today we will be talking about the pants that I'm wearing and different options I have for pants.
Annoying student: I would first like to say that the pants you are currently wearing are really great pants.
A.S.2: First, I would like to agree with what A.S. 1 said and add that black is a great colour for you but that the option of grey pants would be equally flattering.
A.S.3: I think a lighter shade of black might be good.
A.S.4: Or even a shade somewhere in the middle, with a stripe.
A.S.1 (again): When my dad buys grey pants he buys them from *insert expensive store here* and they have quite a few striped pants in stock right now.

I could go on forever, or have thought of a better example but the point is that they all scramble to say something, anything, that no one listens to what the other students say. They constantly make the same point as someone else or just make a random comment to open their mouths. I refuse to stoop to that level. Rant over.

Topic 2: actually I have class right now so i'll have to cover these later. So this just became solely a rant post.

Not a rant

I just need to prequel this with: it isn't rant about political correctness.

When riding the bus my mind wanders and I often find myself reading anything and everything in sight. I noticed a sign that stated: These signs are reserved for seniors and persons with disabilities and ...sont reserve por les agees et handicapees. (excuse the lack of accents)

Notice a difference? Depending on the language used there is a politically correct term. Is this an anglocentric phenomenon? If you're english and 'disabled' you are "a person with a disability" or now at guelph "differently abled" but if you're French you're still handicapped.

busy weekend

I pretty much threw the biggest, most funnest party of my party throwing life for our dear friend who will be hitched this summer. Problem? That's all the bragging I can do because the happenings have to remain top secret. Oh well. Just know it was a fantastic party!

Friday night I officially 'barhopped' for the first time. The flow was Cowboys, Doogies, the Ranch. Great times. Even if Cowboys was a little dead there was still line dancing lessons.

Here is the deal: I'm not going to Argentina. At least not through the school. i was accepted to the Monterrey campus of the Mexican ITESM university. Looking through the brochure the campus is amazing (10 soccer fields! what?). The perk is that the city is beautiful and it is a popular destination for international students so meeting people shouldn't be too difficult. However, it is expensive to do since i would be paying Guelph tuition (when I don't even need more classes to graduate and can't get a minor for the ones I take), and a few thousand dollars for living and food. Thats not counting insurance, fun times, flight, etc.

Here is what I'm thinking
Objective: learn spanish
-Monterrey is beautiful but I would likely be encouraged to take a class or two that would improve my spanish and then classes in English. Also, I could fall into the trap of only associating with other exchange students and just speaking a lot of English. I don't want that.
SO: I am now researching schools throughout latin america that offer straight Spanish. I would live with a host family (room and board!) and take 4-6 classes of spanish daily with 4 or 5 other students per class. All of this costing the same or less than the term in Mexico. Right now my top choices are Antigua, Guatemala and Quito, Ecuador. Ah, life is exciting, no?

i could really go for some ice cream

As seen on a poster/ad just outside Laura Secord:
"It just isn't Easter without a Laura Secord cream egg"

hmmm. is that what Easter has become? According to the logic of this poster Christ could have stayed behind the rock forever but as long as we all get Laura Secord cream eggs there is still something to celebrate.

Update on argentina/mexico wallowing: I don't think I did a thorough job yesterday, i think i had fun by accident. i've moved on to denial/avoidance until sunday.

Pathetic Fallacy

It's March 1st. This morning during my first class I received an email stating that i have been accepted on exchange to Mexico. You heard right. Not Argentina. Needless to say that I am thoroughly disappointed (crushed you might say). There are many factors that I can talk about in another post but basically I want South America and not Mexico. I'm not happy.

i have purchased the latest issue of Adbusters and some pop and I'm going to wallow for the rest of today before I decide what to make of this.