coughing up all those butterflies

DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE
FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FINISHED FIN

MY UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE HAS BEEN COMPLETED!

This needed to be recorded. I have no specific emotions. My stomach was in twisties after the exam, likely from releasing all the stress I held inside it today and over the last little while. Now comes the scary part though, moving on from the familiar to the unfamiliar. What is out there?

basic emotions

I am sad that this year is almost done
I am sad that 'twas not my very most fun
I am sad that I'll have to say goodbye
I am sad, so sad I just might cry

I am glad that there'll be no more exams
I am glad that i've avoided eating SPAM
I am glad that travel, I finally will
I am glad, so glad i can't sit still

I am tired of reading my textbooks
I am tired of our drain being clogged by gook (ie. j.well's hair)
I am tired of sitting 'round and studying
I am tired to the point my brain be puddlin'

I'll miss the pile of laundry in my closet,
i'll miss when sarah whistles and ashley doesn't
i'll miss the dirty grey-carpet stairs
I'll miss the comfy rozanski chairs

I'll miss the people that i know
I'll miss the walking to and fro
I'll miss strolling down wineguard
I'll miss the cannon and...crazy people in the UC

Sigh. A poet, I will never be. I was going for a bit of a green eggs and ham thing but I really am sad to be done!

How to:

Be a guest at a Classy Conference:

1. Fall asleep during the first panel.
2. play with the translation equipment (spanish. english. spanish. english.)
3. Roll your eyes whenever someone asks a long question.
4. Complain about the quality of the translation (haha, did you hear the male translator correcting the female one in the background?")
5. Skip out early on the last speaker
6. While skipping out, become completely inept at returning said translation equipment requiring someone to run over and help.
7. Grab some of the free sandwiches at a break, wrap them up in napkins, stuff them in purse, enjoy for dinner in car.
8. Smell like free sandwiches while sitting in the audience.

There you have it, a guide to getting invited back to any conference, ever.

All joking aside, the conference was at York and it dealt with Exclusion and violence in Colombia. The day was broken into 4 panels with three speakers each. The focus of the talks was not the drug trade at all (gasp) but the struggle of the indigenous and afro-colombian groups in the country. I was not even aware previously that Colombia once had a thriving slave industry. A middle-aged women with distinctly indigenous south american features sat quietly in the second row. She wore a pale blue cotton dress and layers of colourful beads around her neck in the custom of her people. "Wow, this conference attracted indigenous people who have immigrated to Canada. I wonder if she can understand Spanish, or just her native language." Both apparently. and English. She sat at the panel a little hunched when we came back in after coffee. She spoke about the problems that indigenous women face when trying to protect their land and claim their rights in Colombia. Her perspective was that of former governor of a Colombian state. She looked meek but she had power and conviction.

This is an attempt to share some of the information and tragedy spoken about at the conference.

1. Both indigenous and afro-Colombian peoples finally received recognition in terms of rights to land and to identity by the government in 1991 through a constitution. It is one thing to have rights on paper, another to attempt to claim them
2. Colombia has had a great term of growth in the last decade but is one of the least economically equal countries in the west. Over 60% of people live in poverty.
3. A major problem for indigenous Colombians in the extraction of resources. The government allows foreign companies to ransack rainforests, sends military and paramilitary groups to protect the companies and does not pass any of the benefits to the people. For example: a Canadian corporation built a massive dam upstream from a thriving rain forest community. The result was more money for the government and for the people? The running river turned into stagnant water bringing malaria, malnutrition and death from a lack of protein when the fish could no longer swim downstream to the community, rising water levels forcing them to move to higher ground and destroying sustenance that grew at the waters edge. What can they do? Nothing. It is illegal to hold rallies or marches. 4 leaders who have tried to speak out have been murdered.

4. Women are raped by guerrillas to bring shame on their families. When one 11 year-old reported the assault she was first told by officials that she had brought it on herself and would do best to forget about it. Her father, instead of sympathy, berated her for shaming her family and told her that she was never to speak about it again.

This could easily become a report so I will stop. There is just so much more that I could say. Should corporations be free to go unchecked in foreign countries doing business that harms the population of that country? There needs to be a better system in place. Canada needs to be accountable.

New Official Degree Program

Someone in one of my project groups suggested this for the new slogan on marketing clothing:
Bachelor of B.S.
Major: Group Work

Maybe you have to be in the program but, oh, haha. It's the only marketing clothing I would ever consider buying. At any given time the 4th floor of the library is 75% commerce students. Finally a program that doesn't encourage individual thought, just what the world needs!

Passing Time

The title is a bit deeper than is warranted.

I keep getting email reminders from the convocation office suggesting that I apply for graduation soon. I have deleted them. Today is Feb. 2 and in six more days I will have let the chance to graduate this summer pass me by. I have all of the classes I need but I am taking a chance that I will get to do an exchange. Maybe it would be better if I were applying to graduate because it would bring some finality to this year and this degree. Just 6 more days to be strong.

Something that I don't like to admit is that I often lack confidence. This morning in Spanish (a class I typically perform well in) I choked, multiple times, even mumbled because I was unsure of my answers. I put so much pressure on myself to do well in that class now that I constantly stumble. I often feel like two different people: one who tries to come off as self-assured with friends and in groups and another who is terribly shy and afraid of making a mistake. I need to take more risks!

Confessions of an Unfaithful Blogger

Usually when school starts up I find something, anything to blog about on a regular basis. This does not seem to be the case right now. Maybe i'm tapped out.

An observation: The word love isn't mentioned in the story of Creation. It isn't mentioned until about Genesis 20. No mention of God's love for Adam and Eve, their love of God, or even of cheese for that matter. None at all. Maybe it doesn't matter but I had never thought about it.

Rant: The marketing program at the university of Guelph (ok, well anywhere really but I'm speaking from experience here). Pointless. Why does anyone need 4 years to learn how consumers process advertisements? They don't. The marketing courses are fillers to call it a marketing degree. I could have saved myself $60 000 and bought Marketing for Dummies and learned about the same amount. In fact, if i retained anything from the book I would have learned more practical crap about marketing than I have in the last 4 years. Even if I had learned a lot about consumers, who cares? I have no desire to propagate the culture of materialism. I will admit, I like stuff. But, I think on this note I should decide what actually contributes to to my life and what is filler. It may be harder to let go than I think.