One year Anniversary

Of my blog and I! Who knew it would last a whole year? There were a few rocky patches in the middle, I had to travel a few times but we made it against all odds. I think our song will be the Shania Twain song "They Said". For Christmas I am learning HTML so I can give my blog some stylish new duds. Merry Christmas eve all!

Will that be two Masters or one?

I just read Luke 16. It talks about money and how someone who is trustworthy with little will be trustworthy with more and the opposite being true as well. Christ also states how we cannot serve two masters, either God or money, not both. Well it seems obvious enough, all money is God's anyway. I want to serve the Lord all my days. But do I act like it? Not gonna lie, I worry about money. Too much. I am thinking about doing another undergrad after this. The problem? I will have to do it solo, no parents. Oh no. What is my problem? If that will get me where Christ wants me, where I can best serve...uh, he'll provide it. I can't join staff (don't even start with me, i mean headquarters not campus anyway) I'd have to raise so much money, ah! Uh, he'll provide it. What is my problem. Lord, I want so badly to be in your will. Don't let my attitude towards money get in the way.

Possibly pathetic

The title refers to my new found home. I spend about 1 hour a week (maybe) at the McLaughlin Library in Guelph during school and I have now spent over 5 hours at the Sault Ste. Marie public library in the last two days. Ok mostly today, got there around noon, parked my keister after a quick trip through the reference section breaking only for the occasional bathroom trip and to purchase some National Geographics. There is something about NG, even when it was published over 20 years ago and wholly irrelevant today, that I just cannot pass up. Today I learned about American and Western Samoa...in 1985. Maybe I'll take the time to find out how the islands are doing today.
In the library today I solely missed the little uncomfortable cubicles and the main floor sitting area with the nice black chairs. Although much cushier, the green mini-sofas (it seemed appropriate to use sofa and not couch in this context) just weren' the same. It may have had something to do with the fact that the sitting area could hold, at its maximum capacity, about 18 people. I think I have grown used to disappearing in a crowd at the school and have quite enjoyed my anonymity in a black chair (or cubicle) amid a sea of other similar looking students doing similar things in their own similar chairs.
So what am I reading is probably where I was going with this. I checked out some books yesterday and started on a few of them. One by Max Lucado, Being Just like Jesus (or soemthing to that affect), while slightly anecdotal/sermon-y the message is good. I think the tag line is "God loves us just the way we are but too much to let us stay that way". I was definitely challenged right off the bat to consider what my life might look like if I lived it with Christ's heart. Not easy (although completely expected) to admit that it would be pretty much wholly different. More on that as the book continues I suppose.
Today in the library I learned about food additives (if using orange zest in food choose a California grown orange because Florida oranges are only the colour of their name due to a harmful dye used in the ripening process), the Commonwealth, the History of Medicine and few other choice topics. Hopefully I keep up the reading, I think this past semester has been literature deprived.

For You...

A thousand times over. That sentence right now gives me chills. I have learned so much just from it I may not be able to describe how much. On my 8 1/2 hour bus ride home (uneventful, a little fun, thanks for asking) I read The Kite Runner. It felt so good just to read, never mind an amazing story of unconditional agape love, loyalty, sacrifice, forgiveness and a little international politics. I must admit to not being a person who typically gains more from a book than just a good read, life lessons, not something I look for. I don't think I could avoid it with this.
The story is of a young boy, Amir, growing up in the 70s in Afganistan when it was rising up to resemble a modern society. His father was a well-known and respected business man, a stoic man who valued pride and a widower since Amir was born. There was always a rift between literature-loving Amir and his athletic, 'manly' father. On their estate lived a father and son who were known as Hazaras and considered subhuman by most of the afghan culture. They lived in a mud hut and worked as servants in Amir's home. When off duty, the young Hazara boy, Hassan and Amir were best friends and grew up together.
I can't give away much more, I actually wished I hadn't even read the back cover of the book before reading it because it just gives away too much. This must be read for yourself.
Little Hassan loved his friend Amir completely unconditionally, while Amir, in trying to find himself, often took out his frustrations on Hassan. What got me is that Hassan would always say "For you, a thousand times over" whenever Amir asked something of him. I can just picture Christ saying that to us, to me again and again. If we could only understand how completely he loves us. I mean, a thousand times over isn't even close to the number of times Christ has forgiven me and will forgive me. A thousand times over. Do I challenge this devotion every time I choose to sin and essentially spit in his face? It just killed me to know that He will just take it and then when I come and ask for forgiveness Christ just says "For you...". Wow. Maybe I"m way off, but thats how I feel. I can't even tell you most of what I learned without giving away the book!
Its a must read, and when you do I would love to talk about it!

Saying goodbyes

This, my friends, is a shout out to the group of wonderful girls I have had the priviledge of living with for the past semester. Mere, Christina and Katrina, thank you for all the random moments and the not so random ones. Katrina is mostly one of the most talented people I have ever met and I think the most downright open and honest about how she is feeling. Since feelings are still not my forte I have learned so much from her....and should probably learn even more. Meredith is so incredibly creative I love it. She knows how to make the dullest things ridiculously fun. Christina, oh Christina. Didn't even think I would meet her until mid semester since she was always up in the air when I first moved in. Actually in the air, as a flight attendant. She is one of the most fascinating people ever, I must say that I would give quite a few things to be half as adventurous as her.

Tonight was family Christmas, as we prepare to say goodbye. I will be returning to a house full of other wonderful ladies next semester. We spent hours (yeah i think more than one hour) decorating gingerbread men and a house. After a few trials and errors it turned out pretty nice. Dont' use margarine in icing, it won't harden! I think the most fun was creating our gingerbread fauna, creating personalities for them and taking them for a photo shoot with the samaritan's purse catalog (which i recommend by the way, great organization, don't know what to get someone? Give a family in africa some chickens in their name...woot woot). I made angsty teenage Gabe with a blue mohawk and sweet silver belt and girlfriend Lucinda with a sweet off the shoulder top. Katrina won the award for best work with a headless person, Christina created open-heart-surgery man and mere made some sort of little scottish gremlin...hmm.

Get to know those girls if you have the chance....I highly recommend

Revival?

Today was Sunday. While I have to admit that I worked on the Sabbath it was still a great day. I stayed at Becky's last night to spend some time with some wonderful girls from Western, veronica and hannah! Of course a big Congrats is needed for Lauren and Trevor for their engagement. Definitely one of the most Christ-centered couples I have met, muchos blessings on you guys....you're in my prayers.
What really got me today was the sermon in church today and the recent results from Porn Nation. So, Porn Nation has now come and gone but I don't think it did so without making waves. While it was probably the smallest for turn out for any event we have had God worked in incredible ways. Michael Leahy presented the gospel and I would guess 85% of people stayed for it. I have never heard anyone tell such a large group of students about a personal relationship with Christ in such a real, honest way. I know that even if some people only sat there to be polite they heard something that could someday save their lives.
Praise report though: 10 people from Guelph and 14 from the other two schools accepted Christ at the talk. I can't even describe how fantastic that is. So humbling.

Then today, Pastor Dave was talking about the year of Jubilee and how it was a time every 49 years (I think?) where God rights injustices, prospers land, returns land to who it belongs to, rights wrongs. It is a time of revival. The scripture he used is Is. 49:8-13, 61:1-2 and Luke 3:14-21. One of the most amazing things were the stories of revival happening within the last 100 years. When I say revival I don't mean just quite a few people coming to Christ at a time but full out, God's Spirit making the presence of the LIVING GOD known to everyone in that area. There was an area in Ireland in the 1930s that revival happened in and thousands and thousands of people knew the presence of God, they were 'alive to the awareness of God". How cool is that? Crime plummeted, talk of Christ was everywhere...all aspects of life were changed by God's Spirit.

Thats what I want to see in Guelph! God can do that, we just have to pray! We also need to be a in a place where all the glory will go to God. We cannot change hearts. But we can be used!

lets not get kicked off

This is a quick blog, a sanity blog lets call it. I needed a few minutes away from my notes about how to retain customers and get them to use self-service technologies....I am still not sure how this will be relevant for the Kingdom of God but I sure want to be used! Anyway, tomorrow is the big day, the unveiling of Pornnation. It is this speaker from the US who expereinced the loss of almost everything dear to him because of his addiction to pornography. There is lots ot do but I have a great team and a great God on my side. Hopefully my ambition to continue updating on the event (Nov. 17th!--pncanada.com--check it out!) won't wear out once i don't have to study any longer.

A test

Here is my pet (or its supposed to be a pet). I was inspired to name him this after studying Spanish for one day. It is pronounced A-sool...he is touchy about that.

[url=http://bunnyherolabs.com/adopt/showpet.php?b=bWM9aGVkZ2Vob2cuc3dmJmNscj0weDFlOThiZSZjbj1henVsJmFuPWthdGll][img]

the first week: a reflection

Well its mid first week and wait a second...I'm in Guelph....oh wait and I'm still in Marketing...with a minor adjustment...no coop. Thats right, i'm suffering from cognitive dissonance...perpetually telling myself that I'm doing the right thing with my life. More later as I am mooching a room and this person wants to sleep....tata

emcee

I could be MC'ing (i dunno if I like MC or emcee better) the first crusade...with Becky that is. What made me say yes this time...uh...not so sure. Meh, could be fun....maybe this year I won't be "Katie from Marketing"...it will be "Katie in Undecided" lol. Work wasn't too bad today...I had the song Blackbird in my head and Break my stride...and others. Little birthday party for the parents tomorrow night, thrown by me I suppose...since I have to miss my dad's real 50!

no clue

So I leave in less than a week for school...that is assuming i'm going to school this semester; still have no idea what program I'll be in. But nutrition is looking less and less appealing. I was all gung ho about shadowing the program (taking the classes but not being in it) once I found out that I applied way to late to get accepted this year. Maybe I would like business, but it just feels like a useless degree to me. I'll probably have to go ahead and take more school after my undergrad. But thats fine. I think I'm out of coop too, since I was so set on changing programs I haven't applied for any jobs so I haven't found one lol, and its a getting a little late now. I just need to find a place to live in Guelph. I am so spazzed, one day I hate business and I can't see myself doing anything related to the degree, the next day its full of potential. I just don't know...bah!

Rant

I just need to rant right now. I am so frustrated with how things are going this year and I guess I just need to write it down to get it out and prayer would be great. So first, I want to change into Nutrition so I email someone because I missed the deadline. That was three weeks ago, still no answer. So I have no idea what I am doing in the fall as of yet but if I can't change programs now it will be too late next year. I also have not found a coop job yet, not that there are any I can apply for because you need a car or to be bilingual and thats not me. It doesn't matter right now though because I just discovered that I am not in an 'unknown' semester according to coop and not 'searching for work' so I cannot access the jobs even if there were ones I was qualified for. This is probably because of another awesome occurance. I get this email saying I was late paying the $200 new fee that I didn't even know I had to pay...our school always communicates by email so sorry for thinking they would tell us by email, no they posted it on webadvisor, a place I never go in the summer nor would I think that important announcements would be on it. So they changed teh deadline and I had to have it in by friday. So i email them to figure out that it is and they don't answer my questions (ie, how to pay) and they don't answer me, email them again, dont' answer my question. Finally I'm at work on friday and my mom has to call and pay. So she pays on time but now they need paper confirmation faxed to them. So first she can't print it cuz our printer quits, then the bank prints it and is like "don't worry we'll fax it". She leaves and "oh no their fax doesn't work" so it doesn't get faxed. So now I guess I'm cut off...i refuse to pay any late fees. On top of all that I can't access my school email and I am soooo frustrated! Bah!
On a much happier note, today was Natalie and Josh's gift opening because yesterday was their wedding! She looked amazing, they whole ceremony was fantastic. The reception hall was the bushplane museum and their first dance was with the hangar open and the sunset over the Ste. Mary's river in the background. The three cars carrying the bridal party got in a 3 car 'pile up' between the wedding and the reception when some idiot slammed on his brakes in front of them to parallel park on Queen street. Thank the Lord that there was minimal damage and no one was hurt. Overall though, a wonderful couple started their life together.

Dairy Queen and a Litter Box

So thats it, I officially work for the man again. Well actually not the man, the woman and she's actually really nice. Nonetheless, yesterday was my first day back in the swing at the DQ. It was only a 3 hour shift...woot. They finally automated things around there, as of last year I think they were the last chain that regularly operated 70s style (who i am kidding, it was from the 70s) crackly microphone for drive through. Now there are headsets...i almost died of shock. I guess its about time they put some money into the store...everything in it was over 20 years old and they weren't exactly NOT selling icecream at 40 degrees in the shade. Seriously I'm not trying to sound bitter this is just all of interest and I will want it on the record someday, a long way down the road.
Luckily my more official title is "cake decorator's assistant" which I am pretty excited to do, something new. My first day back at the DQ who comes in but this lady that I've known my whole life, i babysat her kids, i watched her husband carve up Canada geese, I built snowmen in their yard....she calls me Miss Kate...probably the only person that has ever gotten away with it. But yeah, so she's basically my first customer and so not knowing how to use all this awesome equipment I get lost and defintely make mistakes so not only am I greeted with "Miss Kate, what are you doing here?" I then look like I can't even run a cash. Yeah, so there's my ugly pride peeking out.
In keeping with the Dairy queen theme, I was outside waiting in the parking lot for my mom and there is this couple who looks to have driven a very long distance in their little sports car and have decided to keep a pet cat, toys, litterbox and all as company for the journey. I go back inside to call my mom (i'm impatient, i wouldn't want her to forget about me: she hadn't). I go back out just in time to catch the girl EMPTYING THE LITTER BOX in the parking lot! I mean who...what? Sick. Anyway, i wasn't even mad just thought, wow they look really stupid. Cute kitten.
Good news, no work tomorrow (saturday) so that means...Garage Saling! I have found them in the paper, written out the ones that look good and then proceeded to mapquest them all and print out the maps. Yep, too much time on my hands. I have also been spending a great deal of time focusing on my Yahoo radio station, being sure to rate each song so that one day I will have the ultimate station that will cater to my selective music taste (80s to early 90s pop with some jazz and hiphop in there...so sad).

did it

I DID IT! I sucked it up and called DQ, two hours late but still I called. I dreaded it so much, not because I was scared to talk to my old boss but because I would have to wear that horrible uniform! Also its so like taking a step back, but wait...its money and I need money so I guess I can't complain. So yeah, I called and she is taking me back...oy. But, this time I get to be the cake decorating assistant. I mix gels and icings...i can pretend i'm an artist mixing my paint pallette. I am actually excited, who knew! I am just hoping that I get to go garage saling on Saturday, i miss it so much! I'm such a dork.
I also finished my "70s-dress-into-shirt" this morning. It looks pretty nifty but I don't know what to do with the flowy sleeve thingys, they are a bit tacky but taking them right off won't work either. What a dilemma.
Anyway, praise God, I am actually looking forward to DQ, never thought I would say that!

Back

I'm back from Calgary now, a week and like 6 hours. Weird. It feels like I was never there and that I am a different person all at the same time. I don't feel like summing up everything that happened quite yet, it is a daunting task. One thing is that I was not able to get back on with Home Depot here in the Sault because I'm only here for one month. So I have been dreading making the call to DQ to see if they could use me for a month. Putting it off and off, but sadly I have to suck up my pride and ask for my job back, and get covered in ice cream and probably work for minimum wage (but it went up so i guess its like a raise). But then again, better than nothing of course. Tomorrow before noon; the call.
Laura's wedding was this weekend. Thats it, its so exciting, they have real lives now. God just showed his provision big time with them as they were obedient to him in keeping their relationship as pure as they could. I think their wedding was the first time I had actually seen them kiss. Laura looked amazing, a little snafu with a dress that just wouldn't fit but nothing that couldn't be fixed. The dinner was great, speeches were so good and sincere and they just looked like they were so in love. I was a little bored for the dinner just because I was stuck at the end of the head table because I was asked to trade with someone (how do you say no to a 14 year old?) so yeah, oh well it wasn't about me anyway :). Two more weeks and Nat is next!
I am officially trying to change my major to nutrition. Until today I thought FOR SURE it was what I wanted but now of course I am second guessing myself, as usual. It felt so right these last few weeks. I just don't think marketing is right for me...but what is? Too bad fashion isn't a degree, that would be amazing. Then I would have to leave Guelph, oh and assume that I could make a living off fashion lol. But I have been inspired today while walking to Value Village on a few ideas, some different fabric combinations. I really need to learn to sew better.
I'll have to stop avoiding summing up project eventually but for now I think i'll go read.

calgary

This is actually not really about Calgary. It is a post fro Calgary to avoid losing my page until I can get back home and update it. Woot, so much has happened, I just sent a big'ol package up Guelph way.

no title as of yet

Today doesn't get a title i suppose since there hasn't really been a theme to speak of. Not saying it was bad, just blah. I finished one exam, and it went decent so that gets a Woot.
I feeling a little overwhelmed I must admit over Calgary and exams. I know God can provide but calling people actually scares me like nothing else. Why? Meh, couldn't tell you. But I just have to suck it up. I am trying to get at least 5 more letters out by tomorrow so lets see if I can come up with that many people! And addresses!
I am excited though, I guess I just want to get exams over with, but then that means packing, leaving....leaving. Oh man I don't know if I can come to terms with that. If I do get a co-op in the Soo that means 8 months away. I love this place! Sarah will be moving into my room, someone else using my food cupboard. Well putting their food in there! Whew....man this could make me weepy.

No more

No More inside voices! I can't take this insideness any longer. Not only am I inside I have been abandoned, all my housies are gone. I think when I talk from now on today I will use my outside voice...i suppose that means talking loudly to myself. I also gave up on silence now, i need some music even if it compromises my studying a little. It is a balance between my grades and my sanity. Sometimes i wonder which is more important. This is one of the first times I will go into an exam that my marks on the exams will 'make me or break me' as they say. Meh, its my own fault tho, I had way too much fun for my own good this semester!
Do you grades matter in the long run? I guess not but still it isn't a good mentality. How can I show my parents I am thankful for them helping me pay for school if I dont' take it seriously. Alright, I guess that sentence was the cue for me to get back to work....oy

Reflect-itis

Yeah its that kind of year when everyone comes down with a little reflect-itis. I can't help it, this year has been awesome, and i guess 'reflecting' kind of sums it up, makes sure that nothing is left behind. Or maybe its easier to look back than look forward...who knows.
I have been trying to write down what God has done in my life this year to be sure that I can look back and see what God did, when and maybe it will keep me on track. One thing that has been a main lesson for me has been that all sin is sin, is the same. I guess by this I mean that it doesn't matter what someone does, drink, swear, be jealous....it just matters that it 'misses the mark' or causes a distance in their relationship with God. The world seems to but a weight on sin, "this one is worse than that one" it creates a barrier. This has helped me quite a bit.
Also, the parable of the rich man has been big...maybe i won't summarize that tho, i'll go read it again.
It seems that about this time last semester, ie. exam time, is when I started this here bloggy. I think its a vicious cycle of both being trapped inside (oh, its so nice...) and wanting to do anything but memorize trivial facts about well, its trivial really.
I got my first supporter for Calgary this weekend! I am major excited, but I still have to suck it up and make some phone calls...oh the dread.
Right now, listening to Eagle Eye cherry...i've had the cd for years...just listening to it now. I thought I was going to find a treasure and a new fave...I didn't, don't listen to it...try something else instead. The Streets on the other hand quite good, british punk-rap might be the best way to describe it...either way a very unique sound. Maybe a few expletives tho, careful.
This weekend was way fun, me and Becky took a little adventure to Toronto for the day. We ended up having to stand on the bus on the way there, no worries tho. It was a beautiful day, what a good atmosphere to just walk around, breathe in the (relatively) fresh air and chill. I didn't even really buy anything, it was just fun to be there. We did miss the bus to get us home in time for some study...oh well....can't change that now! My first exam is wednesday, bah...its kinda giving me dragonflies...well sorta...anywho...no...more....dot...things.......

12th Try is the Charm

I I had to try about 15 times to get into here. The site is a little slow today. I have been good lately, Ihave a schedule set out for all the studying I have to do this week to minimize my screwed-ness for exams. Not that any of the original screwed-ness isn't my fault, it most certainly is. But that isn't the focus today. These last few weeks I have been spending quite a bit of time appreciating music. I love just about any kind of music. I am checking out some of my old burned cds from years ago that aren't labeled. its always a surprise to see what I listened to constantly at the time. When I get a new cd I listen to it non-stop for about a month. Right now its Nelly Furtado "Folklore". Great tunes!
I also decided that I would like to know at this point in my life what i considered to be some of the best music of all time. So this is my list of must have tunes for any play list. It will be different tomorrow, and should actually be about 900 songs but i'll try to keep it to 10. Here goes:
1. Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson (although this may be replaced with Thriller or the Free Willy Song at any time)
2. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. THis is on here because of its amazing funness to sing along to and even dance if you are feeling brave
3. In my Dreams by The Real McCoy...do i even need to say...early to mid-90s pop with repetitive lyrics and white guys trying to rap...fantastic
4. Behind the Wall by Tracy Chapman. This is sung a capella and its amazing. I demand silence when it is on lol, it is moving and she has a great voice.
5. If I Stand by Jars of Clay, good message and just great song
6. Long Time Gone by THe Dixie Chicks, needed a little country on here for the best short play list ever, this is fun, not overplayed like Earl had to Die but almost as fun to sing along with.
7. I would do anything for Love by Meat Loaf, every list needs a powerful ballad, and this can be sung to without the vocal acrobatics of one by celine dion
Note: this is really hard! I feel like I will miss something that is crucially important because I don't have any song lists in front of me. These first 10 will be a starting point and will be subject to change until i feel that it is perfected.
8. Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar, need I say more? 80s 'punk' pop...yes. can be replaced by Girls just Wanna have fun by Cindy Lauper
9. Wannabe by the Spice Girls (basically any spunky Spice girls song can be substituted here)
10. Love is Blind by Eve *there is disclaimer on this one but nonetheless a good song

Hmm...i'm not happy with this yet, but it gives me something to get excited about!

Birthday Week!

Shout out to Silas, Tim, Becky (Happy Actual birthday), Kristen and...well me I guess haha. This is officially birthday week.
Last night was officially the best birthday party (well heck, party period) I have had. Can't get much better than to celebrate with four other great people and cram 40-ish people into our house! The dance party was so good. I mean, it felt like a good old fashioned shindig. At one point it was a house party, people just dancin er up in the kitchen, chatting in the dining room and playing games in the living room. I even had to post because it was so great I can't get over it. Want to know what else I can't get over? That i'm going to be 20 in three days. I only have three more days of teen-hood left. Crazy. I dont' feel very grown up so i guess it doesn't mean much. But its big, starting the second 20 years of my life! It seems so long, but then again, so short. I wonder what the 2nd 20 is like...i mean I don't have to grow, or go through puberty, I already started university. Doesn't seem like there is much else to fill up these next years. Makes me wonder what kinda stuff God has planned. I think i'll go contemplate that for a while.

This one Ain't Exclusive

This week has been one of fun and fancy free I suppose. Only in the sense that it was actually fun, and homework free. But its too late to change that, I can only forge ahead and actually get something done this weekend. Oh man, the birthday bash. I sure hope some people show up, and kinda feel bad that me and Becky were so excited to do this for so long but didn't really have any time to put into it. Our house....messy messy, the cake (quest'ce que c'est?), the decorations, who needs those. I won't be tooo disappointed if it's small....i guess.
But this week, I must make a confession....I have had fashion on the brain! It's just so exciting, different patterns and colours and being creative. I think for me, that would be my ideal job. To create a collection and a fashion show. I have been working on my own sketching style because all fashion designers have a really cool way of drawing their ideas. Very long and elegant and wispy. Give me some pencil crayons! I want to be like fancy Pants off school of rock and make little moquettes of my designs. How neat would that be? Who knows, I could go from small town gal in Moo U to big time creative director for D&G (translation, Dolce and Gabana, aka amazing, elegant runway style) or work alongside John Galliano or Donatella Versace. Man, i'm getting goosebumps! I think that might be the temperature in this room. Anyway, if anyone ever wanted to know, that is my (not-so-secret) secret dream career.
This weekend is FOP, still not sure why I'm not going but I hope everyone has a really great experience. I think this is a big step for me that I'm not horribly depressed to not be going where everyone else is. ; ).

To My Girls (Boys, keep out)

Well this is to all my darlings. Why is it that us girls (or women if you have come to terms with that word yet....which I sure have not!) just can't accept that we are gorgeous beings. I have to admit to being an offender and to all of you I am sorry, we need to band together! It breaks my heart when someone who is so dear to me and who is completely beautiful in my eyes does not like herself or her looks or her whatever... I know maybe this is not the same as coming for some dreamy boy but I mean every word. I think girls are afraid to consider that she might be beautiful because 'what if someone tells her otherwise?" Wouldn't it hurt so much more going into life knowing that you are amazing and valuable and to have that crushed and stepped on when someone may not agree (out of complete blindness or ignorance I suppose). Then ladies, when will it get to the point where it is worth the possibility of pain to admit that you are special? I guess this is a question that each girl has to answer for herself.
Now for each one of you so you know that I'm serious: ashley darling, your tanned skin is beautiful and I love that you are so generous and thoughtful. Sarah, your blue eyes are amazing and I love the way you whistle when you are in a good mood (which happens to be almost always!), Jaacquie, you are very graceful and I love that you are mysterious and that I get to know that side of you. Becky, I love your laugh and you smile, you have a gift for making everyone around you feel special and included. Christine, the eyes again, you've heard it before but they are stunning, but I also love how you are willing to back up your opinions and be strong when it matters. Shelly, your eyes are fantastic and I would trade you for your hair any day ; ), it is refreshing to know someone who is so open and honest about how she feels and I think this post is partly possible because I know that other ppl express their feelings on here (a good release eh?). Leah, i love that you laugh loud and lots and I love your nose (and you feet? haha). You are so friendly and willing to help. Paula, I love your beautiful smile and how you always have something nice to say to everyone and but you aren't afraid to say what is on your mind. Lauren, your freckles and blong hair are spectacular. Your ability to be a good friend, to have fun and to have a serious side is great! Allison, your red hair is gorgeous and who else has hands like Lindsay Lohan? You are one of the sweetest and most thoughtful people I know and I love that about you. Meredith, my girl,you have to be one of the spunkiest, most understanding people I know. And I love your eyes, I think they are so gorgeous, and fantastcially large. Oh man, I could go on all night about you ladies and about so many other hot gals I am lucky enough to know but I am tired. I hope you take this in the way I meant it....really, really :).

Back to 10

This has to be a short one today because I am already cutting my study night short for about the 3rd time. But poker? I'll be there! Actually I have only played twice but I am interested in learning...so lets correct the sentence. Fun? I'm there!
So today I felt especially childish. Everything was fun; hopping down stairs, talking loud, running around. Man those days are great. I really need a giant chair that my legs can dangle off of to complete a pretty good day.
I was also really worried about a project today but some of my fears have been allieved and I am not as stressed out. Not that I should have been stressed out in the first place but I was so too late now.
But right now this is totally eating away at economics time!

Spoke too Soon

Ok I took another little break. I am scared that I am losing my fun for this. I'll get it back. I have had the biggest urge to take out my camera with me and do some night time shots or black and white this week and no matter what I always end up forgetting the camera.....Bah! I find photography is a good release for me (haha release...shutter release...oy) even release of good stuff. Its just so fun to get back what you did. I even made up some sheets to take with me like we had in high school so I can record my shutter speeds and aperatures. Its nice to know how you took a shot so you can know what to do different or the same the next time.
So this is kinda out of the blue but I'm feeling like lately I have been having a very hard time treating my relationship with Christ as a friendship and not as a casual chat with an undefined, mystic being. Sounds kinda weird I know but I am a very visual person and when I can't picture God or His presence I can get frustrated. Its not a good excuse but it is still something that I struggle with. I have also been kinda dry this week. Which can be a bad cycle because I need to do support letters and continue getting to know God better as I am about leave for Calgary. But then I get discouraged or something and then I don't write my support letters cuz I don't want to write them when I am feeling on the 'not so spiritual side'. But then I'm frustrated and I waste time and don't use it to get my heart where it should be....like I'm blogging now so that can't be good haha.

Ok sorry for all the seriousness. This week is better than last, I aced a philosphy test and College Royal Ball is coming up this weekend! Wicked Sweet! All my girls getting dressed to the nines (if you will) and having a great time dancing. Not too much is better than that!
Ok study time!

Hiatus Over

Sorry guys I was on Hiatus for the spring break. Don't worry, it wasn't cuz i was so busy having so much fun...my life was soooo boring that there was absolutely nothing that I could write about. It zapped even my creativity. One great nugget of news is that I got accepted for Calgary! I just got an email and I'm good to go. Thats where prayer comes in though, I have to find ten (or more!) prayer partners to be praying for me throughout it. And the whole money thing lol but the Lord can do that...I guess I will have to put some effort in as well.
This week coming up is bound to be stressful but I'm excited too, its nice to be back in school. I just realized that if I get a co-op in the soo for the fall I will have NO LIFE! I have no friends left there lol...two are getting married this summer and one is headed out west....no life. Actually my old youth Pastor started a Christian club/church at the college up there so he said I could get involved...that would be pretty wicked cool. Oh yeah and my msn...no worky. Someone found out my password and so I changed it and now I can't log on....bah! Whoever you are...you're a jerk face!

Bombs Away

Summary of feelings: good, and mellow. It still hasn't hit me that I will be seeing my family in two days. I am pretty excited, let me tell you. So far, these last two days are in my good books. I have had quite a few good coversations with some awesome people about our awesome God. I have been thinking lately that these last few weeks have been so fun, getting to know people better and hangingout, having girly talk. But God gets cut out too often. Bringing Him back into the conversation is just really exciting. Escially to know how He is working and has worked in the lives of people. I want to know everyone's story! How is God supposed to be present in all of my conversations no matter who I am talking with if I dont' even know how to share my experiences with my Christian friends?
Another great part of today was finally getting to take the camera out again. It has been a long time and I was really getting the itch to shoot yesterday with the beautifully fallen snow. I ended up only having Black and White film on me so thats what I used. It was a good chance to test out my orange filter that I got for Christmas. I am excited to see the end result. I also learned about music, dead animals and wrecking machines today. Silas was kind enough to let me listen to him play piano and (bless his heart) told me that I'm probably less tone deaf than I think....we'll see about that Silas! Christine took time out of her lab to answer all of my stupid questions about various preserved barnacle creatures and take me on a tour of the 3rd floor of Axelrod to see the freaky stuffed birds....loons are way bigger than I expected! I also got to bond with the Invert Lab Prof over some machines tearing down C&M this afternoon. It was quite the sight. He said something interesting and more true than he knows "Makes you realize that anyone can destroy something but creating it is the hard part". Thats one for intelligent design.
Here's to learning new things. If anyone has a skill they want to teach me, let me know! I love to learn! (today's blog was brought to you by the letter L and the number 5ive.)
PS. bombs away, I suppose I forgot to explain the title! Last night me and an unmention prayer coordinator that lives in the same house as me had an unfortunate loss of part of a project less than an hour before it was due. A very stressful time. Afterward we may have released some tention....but it was all in good fun! Forwhatted???

A Little Wet

Its raining out there and its great! I really think I should have went dancing today, in the rain that is. I did have the chance to get outside a little, thanks to Christine pointing out that if I haven't gone to class yet this week, why start now! I slept into one this morning...didn't miss anything, yes! And I missed philosphy, the only one that I may eventually regret. The readings dont' make so much sense without a smart person to explain them to me! I did get to go to No-Frills though, fantastic! I have real food in the house so life can't get too much better.
I have been somewhat lacking in my devotions lately and I am realizing what that can do to just a mindset and how much I let God work in my thoughts and words. I need to work on 'nice Katie' cuz she is taking a vacation right now. I never want to be one of those overly, grossly sweet people but genuinely nice will do. I mailed out my Calgary application today...wow. I have never done anything this big with my trust solely on God. Its exciting! I really need to work on being strong before I get out there so I can offer God as much as I can. Wow, stampede!
Ok, feeling like crap a little, need to eat something without preservatives in it. Can't wait for Dad's cookin!

Not Awake Yet

This is a shout out to my girls lol. I had a blast last night taking pictures of absolutely everything....peanut head and big lips most of all. I am going to have the best msn pictures of all time. Me and Becky and Amanda went to the Bangarang game to cheer them on in the Dome last night (sorta...not so much cheering actually happened, we got distracted). So we came up the brilliant idea of taking really close shots of everyone's eyes, nose and mouths and now we are going to make crazy collages of different people's faces. Yes.
So to add to our adventures we may have spent the night in the clubs office but that can't be confirmed or denied as of yet. 4 am and still going strong....poor cleaning ladies (and gentlemen). Three hours of sleep just doesn't always cut it though. Becky, love you, very sorry. I hope you are able to make up for lost time.
So then this morning I had a good start, even went to my 830 class. Ok actually I went to Christine's 830 Invert class, learned lots about shrimp, drew a gill or two.....skipped my 930 class and my 1030 got cancelled...bad weather you know. Little tired...almost forgot I had peer helper hours today.
Sorry, I realize it might be more interesting if i talk about my feelings or something but i'm too tired to have any. Night

Boring Post

I'm not sure why I am bothering to post if I have already determined that this is going to be boring. I guess for my own benefit. I had my econ midterm today...which I think I did fairly well on. You can never really know though, why would I write down answers I know are wrong? Oh and then, me and Alli went to the gyme for a bit...well an hour. Yess...i love saying that. But oh man, most of the people there dont' even need to be there...it can be quite the ego blow ; ). Assuming one previously had an ego.
I think I like this working out thing, I want to have very ripped...well toned arms and shoulders by the time College Royal ball comes along. Hopefully by then I'll get to put the peg in the arm machines...haha.
Wow, my brain is actually dead. I have nothing to say....and that doesn't happen often. I usually just talk and talk even when I don't have anything to say.
So last night I was looking at a website with baby names on it. Just something I love to do, names are so fashionable and they have so much meaning. Anyway, I have a few new favorites. I like the name Penney, and Edie (eee-dee)...but I think her full name would have to be Edith...not so down with that. I'll add more names when I think of them.

The Life of a Student

The title seems overly dramatic now that I look at it. And i am basically writing to students (the 3 ppl who read this are students...i think). I suppose what I'm getting at is more of a 'You know you're a poor university student when..." type thing. For example: You know you're a poor student (and don't mind) when you spend half an hour trying to prop up the cable cord to get the 'sweet spot' where both sound, picture and colour are available on the television for one show per week. You still know you're a poor student when the boxes and garbage cans fail to hold up the cord and you settle for the rest of the show with limited sound and silhouettes.
Yes my friends, that is how we do Gilmore Girls at our house. I think i'll mooch off some richer student next time. But seriously, its all part of the experience. If everything was easy, what stories would I tell the grandchildren. Assuming I ever have any, but that is a topic for another day. Well or for never, i dont' really want to touch on that at all haha.
I received comments on my last post even though they weren't required, thanks though. I think my whiny self reflectiveness (word?) just coincides with something else ; ).
So right now I am doing my peer helper hours. My job is to talk on msn. Actually I sit here and bother first year students to ask them how their lives are. I'm sure we help some ppl, technically we are here to answer questions. But really, asking people "how did that make you feel?", "Do you feel like you have connected with ppl at Guelph" and "Do you have problems with concentrating because your home life sucks?' is not my thing really. Ok you guessed it, I made up that last question but thats what I feel like I'm doing.
Oh and I walked by this table with these really nifty metal roses. I wanted to buy one but who the heck (excuse my language) am I gonna buy a rose for? lol Oh well, i'm not buying it for myself lol. Weird...well not that weird just uh, I don't wanna. Every time I saw it I would remember that I bought it myself and if anyone asked where it came from I would have to say "I bought it for my self near valentine's day at some random booth in the UC"...ok so it doesn't sound that bad. Maybe i'll get one.....

Not Studying

Hopefully this will be a short one because I am not studying and I should be. I have a midterm tomorrow at 830 am with a class that has 100s of definitions like "graphic user interface" and 'private branch exchange'. Yippee.
Oh I haven't done a word of the day in a while but lets have one. Today's word is SWANKY, brought to you by the letter G (for Graydon). Definition: hmm...apparently it means something about fashionable and elegant. Yikes, not really what I was hoping for. It kind of conjures up an image of sleaziness or the "Shaggin' Wagon". Well either way, today graydon said that Christine looked swanky...and it just didn't sit right lol. Although he meant it in a very good way.
I actually am not in the mood to continue typing. Oh yes one last thing. I sometimes get this vibe that people like to be around me in like group settings but rarely want to actually get to know me. Not that I'm easy to get to know anyway, and sometimes I'm pretty happy the way it is. Just an observation I suppose. I guess I lack the really close friendships most other people have. Meh. I don't need feedback on that, just thinking. So tired...i'm gonna go draw some pretty pictures of what networks look like.

Good Day/Long day

Just to be specific, today was good. We discovered that me and Backy are no longer alone in our Spring Time Birthday Extravaganza! We thought we were unique...unlike those 6 people who share some time in february. Apparently not ; ). Lets see we have quite the line up (all ending in the big finale of ME! I might add) Silas (shout out) March 18th, Tim March 19th, Becky March 20th, Kristen March 22, Me Mrach 23rd. We should be having a joint....PARTY!
So the tickets go one sale for the College Royal Ball this Sunday morning. (maybe I shouldn't post that, could increase the competition). So our big plan to get tickets is to sleep four in the *clubs office*, I have valiantly volunteered (alliteration!) to take the fantastic floor...with padding of course. I guess a big girly sleepover is fun anywhere...and sneaky if you aren't supposed to be there! I wonder if there is a chance for a dance party....
So today, like zero people (well 15) were in our research methods class, so at the seminar the prof shows up. He says its to see everyone because no one showed up to his class today and that he wants to make the class more interesting...he asked us to make suggestions. Dance party???? No but really, I felt so bad...but I don't know if anything would do it. Not his fault...just dry stuff.
Also, I am so torn...so today our prof decides we get a week more for our assignment due after the break! What???? Ok great yes...but if I would have known that sooner, before my mom bought my bus ticket home, I could have gone to FLORIDA!!!! Uh, its killing me that I can't go. And I haven't finished my Calgary application, scared. Excited. Anxious. How many emotions are there? Anyway, I have an essay to write and this is procrastination.

Learning Something New

So here I am learning something new. Something kind of nerdy (in a good way, for all you people who already know how to do this) I am learning HTML. How fun is that? Let's see if I can do something cool.

Songs I like:

• Fishing in the Dark
  
• Thriller
  
• Free Willy Song
  
• On Fire
  
• Who Am I
  

I like way more songs but my mind is

blank today

Here, I will creat a link to another page.

Let's try guelph.
Guelphie

One last cool thing
Pink
Bright Pink

Me and Becky! We're doing 'the Meredith'.  

The Hulk

I think that will be my new nickname...The...HULK. I mean how wicked cool is that. Ok so I'm just joking, but seriously it can't be too long until I'm ripped. I mean I have been to the gym, oh, three times in the last two weeks...wow. I spent a half hour in the weight room and boy do I not belong there! Leg stuff I am usually not too bad, but arms...lets talk about no upperbody strength. Who can't do a push up? Thats me. Who keeps it on the lowest setting possible (like no setting basically cuz the peg just hangs out) for the arm press thing? Me again. Who fell backwards on her butt off a machine? Hahaha, not me that time!
More news, Shelly is great because she made me my lunch today. How sweet is that? Pretty sweet. (sweet as in nice of her, not like SWEET!!!).
I also got a new coat today, its blue and tan and tealish...its so great. It looks like an old couch from the late 60s or 70s. Yeah its awesome. And new shoes. I wanted kinda funky ones that were like skater shoes, that were comfy enough to walk to school in but were also cheap. So I go basically everywhere (I had had a pair in mind at Transit but they felt like hard plastic...not walking to school in those!). I found pretty neat ones at Athelete's World (or one of those places) and asked to try them on but...then I realized: they were FUBU. I can't wear FUBU! I am as white and as uncool as they come. Luckily they didn't have my size so I didn't have to really like them and leave them behind because I'm not that cool. Overall a good day.

This picture has to be one of my favorites from last year! I love you girls. Lets be crazy cowgirls again some time!  

Listening to MJ

What better music to fold laundry to than a little Michael...i dont' know. Maybe some Now 3. Lisa Loeb style. So news flash: last night rocked! Chrisitine I like being your twin...but you're the evil one (*sneaky grin*). We wore some fantastic, well, how do I describe them....They are sort of a forest, emerald, shiny, fake satin green that zip up in the front with DIVA written in bold on the back in a gawdy red. Woot. Top that off with some massive fake pearls, flipped up collar, big hair and a certain Je ne sais quoi (oh right, eau de Value Village) you have a glorious early 90s ensemble. We sported it with pride throughout the night and out to East Sides where we took up the whole restaurant with our massive egos for a photo shoot. At least some old man appreciated it (*makes wretching noises*). We then proceeded to pack into Awesome house for a big nap. I was pretty cozy on the couch after I realized Gladiator was never that good afterall.
Still scared about Calgary and I haven't really worked on my application...but it will be done! I can't believe that I could have an adventure, i love adventures. Adventures where there are hygenic washroom facilities...those kind of adventures. Also, here I am all scared about not making enough money and then...what? I'm doing Co-op in the fall (Lord, let me find a job!) so I only have to finance one semester...woot.
Anyway one last fun fact, its the Superbowl tomorrow and I plan to go, even if I have to stay up and finish my project all night tomorrow I will be there. I mean a projector, and tvs in the bathroom, kitchen and hallway...I can't miss a minute! Oh, I'll bring my chips...why did I buy chips?

Oh I miss first year.  

Who doesn't love the 80s? Me, Mere and Ash have a rockin good time...sorry this is so old...I am practicing my photo using skills. SKILLS 

Y'all Don't know Me!

Haha well actually after last weekend everyone knows me (or the old me) a whole lot better. Oh the mistakes of youth. I must say that I do have some pretty interesting stories about the seedy underbelly of small towns. That sounded so devious. Speaking of devious, everyone should check out deviantart.com. Its so great, I go on there to relax and get my fix of amazing portraits and black and white photography...there is something so alluring and mysterious about pictures taken in B&W. Beware tho...many of the people that post their art on there are angsty whiny teenagers so a lot of it is depressing and annoying but then there is some really great stuff.
I really need to start shooting more. Pictures that is. I have this fantabulous camera (thanks mom) and great new filters (thanks santa/mom/dad) but I never use them. I always feel like I have no time or inspiration. Pish Posh! I love that thrill of taking them in and waiting to get the photos back....that is one thing you miss out on with digitals. Although those are fun for sneaky close ups on unsuspecting friends (leah?). I will shoot and black and white soon...can't let all this snow go to waste!
Worked out today by the way. I can't believe it either! Who knew. It was pretty fun, thanks to Allison who showed me how to use everything so I didn't look like a fool (too many times!). I think I would like to go more often.
News Flash...today was good but I have to just get this out. Pet Peeve: people who speak to me in a condescending tone (I don't take that well) and when they try to 'calm me down' when I get excited or just need to rant. THATS THE POINT OF A RANT>>>TO RANT! Enough said I suppose. There I had a rant about ranting. Now I will practice uploading an image...sorry it will probably having nothing to do with anything!

Addicted

I think posting is some sort of heroin...or chocolate. Can't stop, must post....every.......day. I always wonder what it will be like in a few years when I come back to the first entries...will I think I was a freak? Will I have matured (lets hope not)? I once found an old 'journal' I had started when I was in about grade 3. I got a new cabbage patch that year so overall good. I also had a crush on a boy named Christ Zagar...and on Mark Paul Gossler...but then again who doesn't like Zack Morris?
Today I was actually a lot less tired than I thought I would be. Sure did stay at Christine's house til 3am watching Field of Dreams (very good movie...slightly crazy....not always good that late at night). I won't mention any names (might have been associated with a big...I agree with campaign), decided a movie would be good but their project took until 1am. You owe me a research methods class! Good times in Christine's little fairy world that is her room.
I got a rockin package from my mom today in the mail and one from my aunt...what a great day! My mom sent me someone else's mitts in the mail tho, hope they don't need them!

Survived

Good news: i survived my weekend home alone. Not that I actually spent any time home, or alone. Thanks girls. I actually did a smidge of work today, only in one subject though...economics.
Today my something new (I try to do something new or at least out of the ordinary every day to spice things up!) was attending Priory Baptist Church. Usually I go to Crestwicke but me and Becky stayed at Christine's (Boy Kev, sure wish I knew what it felt like to sleep on your futon) and walked to Priory. It was great! Probably the smallest church that I have ever been to but it was charming and friendly and a good picture of what Jesus really meant by fellowship...there was even a yummy lunch for the whole congregation after the service. I may start going there most of the time. I do like Crestwicke but sometimes the sermons are just not my style, but Priory, I love to just pick a passage in the Word and pick it apart for 45 minutes. I hope its like that every week.
This morning we looked into the story of the paralytic lowered through a roof to be healed by Jesus. I just felt that I needed to hear that because I have been reading that story a lot this week and had always been confused by a few things but I didn't know how to get them clarified. Also, I never really realized how much faith it took to lower that guy through the roof...I mean they had to dig through a strangers roof while people looked on so they could do it. Then, Jesus healed his sins. Surprise! His sins first, then his legs. I will read that with much more awe from now on for the power of God and the love of Christ.
Time for some Michael Jackson and some dishes.

Where my Girls At?

This is a shout out to all my girls who slept over last night: you are fantastic. I love everything about you and your funness. I learned so much about all of you (and other things) we'll have to do it again sometime. Its so fun to reminisce with people who understand and tell embarrassing stories when they aren't so embarrassing anymore. You ladies are awesome women of God and great friends. Love you so much!
P.S. who wouldn't be madly in love and topple over if Michael Jackson (the black 80s years) sang "The Way You Make Me Feel"? Please, you know it would get you. Go free Willy!

Themeless as of Yet

I am not sure what will come out today. So far an average day so no complaints.
Ah yes, but last night. Dr. Ravi Zacharias gave a wonderful, very intelligent talk on the meaning of life. One of my friends came and she enjoyed it as well so good good. But here is the thing, I don't get it. I didn't find what he had to say very powerful, while maybe I was just supposed to awe at his intelligence (and it was impressive). I just think that while he was not scared to talk about Jesus, and he was also trying to not force religion on people but encourage them to think for themselves....I dont' know if they got his point about what to think of. If dont' if they idea of a personal relationship with Christ as a possibility really came through so I think I would have been confused and just learned to value relationships with others more. I hope that I am wrong. The talk did do something well, it got the name of Jesus out there and it got people thinking...possibly the two will converge. Just to clarify though, I enjoyed his talk a lot lot.

As for today, its 'Girly Sleepover" time. Woot. I have no idea how many people will show up but either way its gonna be a whole living room covered in mattresses and singing along to Hanson, the Spice Girls and the BSB. All personal favorites of mine! A topic last night at east sides...even though New Kids on the Block came out when I was young I never got into them. I think Backstreet Boys were my equivalent and because of that I will always hold a place for them in my heart! (By the by, Brian and Nick were my favorites...ew Howie!).

I did my hour at the Centre for New Students today. Second one. I haven't really helped anyone yet. Maybe someday, but by this time, most first years have adjusted and feel pretty good about being at school. Can't really bring the topic to God either...taboo I suppose...stinkin politics! :P

Chocolate time!

God is Good

Update: I only felt like barfing for like 20 minutes before overheading my Research Methods class. The Lord is faithful to give me strength when I try to do things in obedience of Him...what a great thing! I didn't really elaborate enough or get as excited as I really am but it went well and I wouldn't mind doing it again (this coming from the girl who considered the least painful methods of breaking a leg or arm the night before a presentation in high school). Thats one thing. People always think that I am this big ol' crazy person who loves to be the centre of attention and talk in front of people. While that is not entirely false (ok, I do like to be somewhere close to the centre at all times) I dont' do well in front of crowds by myself. I want to get over it, I mean people who are public speakers seem to have pretty exciting lives.
Speaker? Did someone say speaker? Word association: World reknowned speaker---Ravi Zacharias! I am so pumped to hear him talk tomorrow. Especially since one of my friends is coming with me, someone I had never even considered inviting until God put it on my heart.
Word of the Day: Huzzah! It means an expression of joy or triumph. Its actually in the online dictionary...but where did it come from? Curious.
Short one for today...just trying to keep this baby alive and dancin!

Whiny MacWhinerson Returns

January 25th. It began as a day like any other. Well sort of. Actually today wasn't like very many days I have had at university at all. First off...I got out of bed just 20 minutes after my alarm went off; usually thats just wishful thinking these days. Side note: I have been so tired lately and I can never get up in the morning...mono? Don't share my drinks!
I didn't have to rush out the door eating my toast at the same time, I had a leisurely breakfast that I spent with the Lord which was quite nice. (convicting and nice actually). For breakfast I had Bran Flakes and water. Did you know that Bran Flakes are actually really really good without sugar? Now you do. Or I do if no one reads this!
So breakfast, I am still reading a book that I started way back at the beginning of last semester. Its a worthy read I just havent finished the last few chapters...thats always the hardest, the end. The book is called "Do you Think I'm Beautiful". I must say I find it somewhat embarrassing to read a book with that title but as much as my brain tries to shut down all its claims some things ring true. I did learn today that I can be weak willed at times. Its not something I'm proud of just something that needs to be worked on in my heart. I have no passions, thats the problem. I like lots of stuff...maybe my problem is I can never pick just one thing and stick to it. Also, I am WAY too sensitive. At least in the area of being included. I hate to admit it but I am horribly crushed when I am not invited to do something or I am left out. Childish? Yes. Intentional? No. I just want to be included. So today when I wasn't asked to be a part of something my first reaction was to be petty and sulk and wish I got to play too.
Today this has been more of an accountability corner. Thats fine, sometimes I need to be accountable.
Done and Done
ps. Word of the Day: Moral Subjectivism (ok two words, one concept!). The idea that nothing (not anything, nope not murder, stealing, beating children) is wrong inherently. The only way that one of these things can be construed as wrong is if a person decides that for themselves it is unethical. But, since according to subscribers of this theory all morals are subjective we cannot look down upon or reprimand someone for an act we feel to be wrong as long as that person thinks that its ok. Who came up with this? Sounds like a big fat ol' cop out to me. Get some brains.

Calgary and some Ravi

So I suppose I should post before a month has passed and I forget about this thing. As usual I have no life and have had no life since I last posted. I have made one decision though; I am applying to do the Calgary project! Wow, there I said it. Done and done. I am so excited to go, but I hope that what I think is God leading me there is not just me really wanting to see some stampede. I will admit some of the allure of this project is travelling since I have yet to see another province in Canada. Its so funny how I often glow with national pride when I see pictures of the vast landscape and mountains of the west and the beautiful coast of the east, yet I haven't even seen them. There are no more a part of who I am than St. Petersburg Cathedral in Russia or the Great Wall of China; I havent experienced any of them. Actually, for all I know, they don't even really exist. Weird. Conclusion: I need to see my country!
As for this week, Ravi Zacharias is coming to speak at the University. Wow. Wait, yeah its a wow but I don't feel any buzz around campus. Maybe we really did thrive off all of the controversy of the Graydon campaign. Or maybe people learned their lesson, Don't Talk Back to the Christians, and maybe they'll go away. I still have to ask people to come with me. Correction, I have asked one person but I have a list of about 5. We'll see. I am also overheading in my research methods class. Barf. I dislike greatly speaking in front of people. Barf Barf.
I miss home today. Not in a homesick kind of way, just that I want to talk to my family face to face. There's no place like home...there's no place like home.....

Finally

I am determined to write something in here today. I really dont' want to give this up because it will be fun to come back and read when i'm...20 or 21 lol. As usual my interest in this is waning and it hasn't even been a month. What am I gonna be like in a relationship or when (if?) get a career?!?! I'll just keep saying to myself 'the one month hump, get over the hump!". I'm in one of those, everyone's-life-is-more-exciting-than-mine moods right now. With 6 BILLION people in the world there must be SOMEONE who's life is more boring than mine....i hope. Speaking of six billion people, do you ever wonder if there is anyone else in the whole world doing exactly what you're doing at exactly the same time? I do. Or I start to think, wow right now as i (write my exam, watch tv, go for a walk, etc) someone is having a baby, or getting beat up, or bungee jumping! Or thanks to Margie, someone's grandparents are having sex.
I shouldn't complain though. I did just get back from one of the largest, richest cities in the world (Toronto, although sometimes i forget how cool it is to go there) where I stayed at the Sheraton hotel with 300+ other university students who are totally on fire for God! I shared my room with Jacquie and Margie that overlooked the beautifully lit up ice rink and UFO landing site of Nathan Philips' Square. The conference itself was awesome, I learned so much just by being there. It was the whole experience not one specific moment that really affected me. In fact I didnt' even know I was affected until the last night when I started to see some of the changes that God was bringing about. The New Years party was fantastic, good dancing, good music and a room full of university students together to pray into the new year.
We also got the Globe and Mail delivered to our door at the hotel every morning. I felt so grown up! I'm not sure what it is about newspapers but reading them (ok, or even just carrying one) makes me feel mature; whether I have reason to or not. The coverage on the tsunami was excellent, and horrifying. The first thing that struck me was it's always the poor people, the ones who already dont' have anything. I think I know part of the reason why. Here in North America we are all whiny ingrates (me included, I sulked most of Christmas day because I didn't get the CD I wanted). If something like that happened to us I don't think as many people would have the faith, the courage or the strength to pick up and start all over again. Why? Because our lives are too complicated, there are too many things to replace, too many THINGS. Pointless crap that we don't need and it would give me an ulcer to try to replace that crap. I thought I would end on a positive note ;)