Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
hee hee
Wednesday, January 31
last day o' the month
Pretty much I just want to post today to get another post in this month. I've noticed that many others have been more prodigious bloggers than I and maybe I'm competitive, maybe I feel a bit boring.
Well, this post likely won't help.
But I plan to be joining a Bible Study on Thursday nights. It looks like there will be some people who are well-versed in their Bibles and at least one person who is still unsure about this Jesus guy. I'll fit right there somewhere in the middle.
Well, this post likely won't help.
But I plan to be joining a Bible Study on Thursday nights. It looks like there will be some people who are well-versed in their Bibles and at least one person who is still unsure about this Jesus guy. I'll fit right there somewhere in the middle.
Monday, January 29
Tagged
ooo, this is a fun game. So miss Beth tagged me on her blog (which i would link if I wasn't having a brain far). The tag means that I should:
-grab the nearest book to me,
-turn to page 123,
-read 4 lines down
-record the next 3 lines
-tag 3 people
The nearest book to me is easy, its on deck waiting to be read before sleep time.
"for example, informed consent requirements seek to protect institutionalized populations, such as hospitals patients and prisoners, from being coerced into medical procedures or acting as research subjects; due process requirements are meant to protect public..."
Three lines from "Policy Paradox: The Art of Political Decision Making"
by Deborah Stone
Its a very good read, it touches first on the broad topics of equity, efficiency, security and liberty and how they can be interpreted in the political realm and also how they can be expanded and contracted depending on the viewpoint one takes. It continues onto the use of symbols, numbers, causes, and interests that politicians and groups use to influence outcomes, elections, polls, etc. Finally a section on Solutions which I have yet to reach so I will not try to summarize.
oh, the rest of that sentence above is "aid recipients from arbitrary termination"
oh oh, the tag-ees. Lisa, Silas, and Shelly.
-grab the nearest book to me,
-turn to page 123,
-read 4 lines down
-record the next 3 lines
-tag 3 people
The nearest book to me is easy, its on deck waiting to be read before sleep time.
"for example, informed consent requirements seek to protect institutionalized populations, such as hospitals patients and prisoners, from being coerced into medical procedures or acting as research subjects; due process requirements are meant to protect public..."
Three lines from "Policy Paradox: The Art of Political Decision Making"
by Deborah Stone
Its a very good read, it touches first on the broad topics of equity, efficiency, security and liberty and how they can be interpreted in the political realm and also how they can be expanded and contracted depending on the viewpoint one takes. It continues onto the use of symbols, numbers, causes, and interests that politicians and groups use to influence outcomes, elections, polls, etc. Finally a section on Solutions which I have yet to reach so I will not try to summarize.
oh, the rest of that sentence above is "aid recipients from arbitrary termination"
oh oh, the tag-ees. Lisa, Silas, and Shelly.
Tuesday, January 23
Attilio Berdusco Dec. 5 1929 - Jan. 21 2007
He was my mom's dad and my Nonno. He had seven younger brothers and sisters who really saw him as the head of their family. He had four other children and 11 grandchildren besides me.
I must say that being the oldest grandchild I probably had the opportunity to spend the most time with him and to know him the best. My grandfather was always hardworking and as a member of the Rotary Club he ran our local science fair for years and helped to organize the winter carnival. This year he was inducted into the hall of fame at his former university in Michigan. As a young engineer at the age of 26 he designed and oversaw the largest underground blast (at a mine in Northern Ontario) in the entire world. I didn't even know that until last year though and, while it makes me proud, that isn't why i loved my nonno.
--He used to sit on the edge of his bed and give my sister and I each a comb and some hair stuff and we would just go nuts doing his hair, making it stand straight up or twisting it and he would always look in the mirror and admire our work.
--One of my favourite things to do with him was feed the ducks. On a nice day we would get ready by filling grocery bags with popcorn and then drive down to bellevue park to spend all afternoon feeding the ducks and watching the deer.
--I love to learn. Even though he wasn't able to read well for the last three years he still gets a National Geographic subscription so that I could read them.
--He would always fill up an old pill jar with jelly beans when we would visit and let me pick out all of the orange jelly beans.
--He liked to cook and would often be up at 4am making pancakes or starting on dinner. We would have to try to distract him on Thanksgiving so that the turkey wouldn't end up in the oven 8 hours before dinner.
--He called me Katie-girl
I like country music (no this is not a side note) and a song by Randy Travis says "it's not what you take when you leave the world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go"
Now that my nonno is gone he has left a huge family that misses and loves him and a great deal of the community that has benefitted from some of the good work he has done.
I must say that being the oldest grandchild I probably had the opportunity to spend the most time with him and to know him the best. My grandfather was always hardworking and as a member of the Rotary Club he ran our local science fair for years and helped to organize the winter carnival. This year he was inducted into the hall of fame at his former university in Michigan. As a young engineer at the age of 26 he designed and oversaw the largest underground blast (at a mine in Northern Ontario) in the entire world. I didn't even know that until last year though and, while it makes me proud, that isn't why i loved my nonno.
--He used to sit on the edge of his bed and give my sister and I each a comb and some hair stuff and we would just go nuts doing his hair, making it stand straight up or twisting it and he would always look in the mirror and admire our work.
--One of my favourite things to do with him was feed the ducks. On a nice day we would get ready by filling grocery bags with popcorn and then drive down to bellevue park to spend all afternoon feeding the ducks and watching the deer.
--I love to learn. Even though he wasn't able to read well for the last three years he still gets a National Geographic subscription so that I could read them.
--He would always fill up an old pill jar with jelly beans when we would visit and let me pick out all of the orange jelly beans.
--He liked to cook and would often be up at 4am making pancakes or starting on dinner. We would have to try to distract him on Thanksgiving so that the turkey wouldn't end up in the oven 8 hours before dinner.
--He called me Katie-girl
I like country music (no this is not a side note) and a song by Randy Travis says "it's not what you take when you leave the world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go"
Now that my nonno is gone he has left a huge family that misses and loves him and a great deal of the community that has benefitted from some of the good work he has done.
Monday, January 22
la he hecho
I have done it! Applied to spend the Fall semester in San Rafael, Argentina. The application is due January 26th and I had been putting it off for over a week because it required me to answer questions about previous travel experience (very little), how I would adapt to a new culture, etc. Well today i finally submitted it, played up my experience in Calgary (oh, poor me, we had to arrange our own phone, internet and find a job....i'm so independent).
The next part of the application involved a language proficiency test since the university in San rafael is all Spanish and I will be taking classes in spanish! I tried to prepare by speaking with friends, a girl on exchange from Mexico came over yesterday and helped me (try explaining Christian denominations in spanish!). So I go in prepared to do a full oral exam and barely had to speak a word of Spanish. I had the professor last year for Spanish and he just gave me good marks from what he knew and it was over in 10 minutes. Check! My Spanish in-proficiency will not keep me from travelling.
Now I wait until march 1st.
The next part of the application involved a language proficiency test since the university in San rafael is all Spanish and I will be taking classes in spanish! I tried to prepare by speaking with friends, a girl on exchange from Mexico came over yesterday and helped me (try explaining Christian denominations in spanish!). So I go in prepared to do a full oral exam and barely had to speak a word of Spanish. I had the professor last year for Spanish and he just gave me good marks from what he knew and it was over in 10 minutes. Check! My Spanish in-proficiency will not keep me from travelling.
Now I wait until march 1st.
Thursday, January 18
In my Head
Last night I had Beth Fisher in my head.
Well it felt like she was in there. We had a phone date which first involved a lengthy period of time to adjust volume and comment on how dorky we felt. It was over msn so I had my microphone in one hand and headphones on. I kept having to speak up whenever the sound cut out and she would remind me not to hold the microphone so close to my mouth (apparently no one wants to hear my breathing!). Overall I think if the technology improved a bit (I hear google talk is clearer) I could get used to talking like this. Oh, and its free which was a nice bonus.
Tip: if you take one ear piece out it doesn't feel quite as much like creepy surround sound
Well it felt like she was in there. We had a phone date which first involved a lengthy period of time to adjust volume and comment on how dorky we felt. It was over msn so I had my microphone in one hand and headphones on. I kept having to speak up whenever the sound cut out and she would remind me not to hold the microphone so close to my mouth (apparently no one wants to hear my breathing!). Overall I think if the technology improved a bit (I hear google talk is clearer) I could get used to talking like this. Oh, and its free which was a nice bonus.
Tip: if you take one ear piece out it doesn't feel quite as much like creepy surround sound
Tuesday, January 16
Dreams
For the last month or more I have been experiencing very vivid dreams that I am fortunate enough to remember almost every morning. Some defy explanation. Allow me to recount a few:
--I was in a trade show with many C4C people and there was a booth with really nice TVs that everyone was checking out. Next to it was some workout equipment and on one of the TVs a video was playing. It was a series of professional body builders telling their stories of how they were unable to make it in the professional world without a well-known coach and sponsor. Some of them wept because they had put so much energy into training but only made it so far.
--another weird one: my family and I decide to fly to Ghana. When we arrive there are women walking through the small towns with thin plastic tubes coming out of their arms and blood dripping slowly from them onto the ground. Then (as a common theme in many of my dreams) I decide I have to use the washroom. I find one nearby but the stalls are so short that when sitting I can see over the top of them. I hear people talking and look over to see Graydon and the two girls on his team in the washroom. I had to do some quick thinking "do I say Hi? Its rude not to but its so awkward that i'm going to the bathroom right now". I decided to say hi.
--last night an excerpt from my dream entails running out to the middle of a giant field behind our house (one I have never seen before but it was mine then) where some chairs were set up as we waited for Winston Churchill to come in a plane. When they arrived the plane towed many trailers and was pulled by a canada goose. All the while I was marveling and the fact that i didn't know that old Winston was still alive. I dont' remember actually getting to meet him but his posse all dressed in old english garb came out to greet us.
How is that for strange? Ok, no one has a monopoly on weird dreams but I just don't want to forget these ones!
--I was in a trade show with many C4C people and there was a booth with really nice TVs that everyone was checking out. Next to it was some workout equipment and on one of the TVs a video was playing. It was a series of professional body builders telling their stories of how they were unable to make it in the professional world without a well-known coach and sponsor. Some of them wept because they had put so much energy into training but only made it so far.
--another weird one: my family and I decide to fly to Ghana. When we arrive there are women walking through the small towns with thin plastic tubes coming out of their arms and blood dripping slowly from them onto the ground. Then (as a common theme in many of my dreams) I decide I have to use the washroom. I find one nearby but the stalls are so short that when sitting I can see over the top of them. I hear people talking and look over to see Graydon and the two girls on his team in the washroom. I had to do some quick thinking "do I say Hi? Its rude not to but its so awkward that i'm going to the bathroom right now". I decided to say hi.
--last night an excerpt from my dream entails running out to the middle of a giant field behind our house (one I have never seen before but it was mine then) where some chairs were set up as we waited for Winston Churchill to come in a plane. When they arrived the plane towed many trailers and was pulled by a canada goose. All the while I was marveling and the fact that i didn't know that old Winston was still alive. I dont' remember actually getting to meet him but his posse all dressed in old english garb came out to greet us.
How is that for strange? Ok, no one has a monopoly on weird dreams but I just don't want to forget these ones!
Tuesday, January 9
Protestant Guilt
Being from a Catholic background I thought I was familiar with guilt. However, at least that guilt came with a clause whereby I could utter a few half-hearted hail mary's and be on with it (not meant to be an accurate depiction of the Catholic faith, just my own experience).
The last semester (or last 8 months I suppose) God and I took a little break from each other. It had come to the point where I couldn't remember what having faith felt like and I was tired of trying to reach God. I still had all of the head-knowledge but couldn't say whether I believed it. Strangely enough I can say that I believe that if there is a God then it is the Christian God and that Christ came to earth to save us from our sins but it really is true that knowing it intellectually isn't the same as knowing it 'in my heart'. It has taken some time but I can see that a large contributor to this time of disinterest in my faith stemmed from extreme guilt. This guilt was surrounded by performance guilt. Sharing my faith was not something to do because it changed my life so wholly that I could not help but tell others but out of obligation. Failure to do so with my family caused great distress, especially when I would go home and instead of focusing on improving my relationship with them and showing them God through my life I would be looking for chances to slip in the whole gospel but each time shying away.
Assurance of salvation, another concept that I could teach but not accept. The guilt of teaching it to others and even the shame of being involved but constantly doubting my own salvation made me ask God why he would give some the ability to accept this gift and not others.
Another confession: I dislike Christian literature. THe early Christians had the Bible and the teachings of elders and others but they didn't need to emmerse themselves in John Piper to make their faith relevant. But everyone is constantly reading all of these 'how to be more effective at sharing your faith' books and the guilt would set in because I didn't feel like I could be a good or productive Christian unless I got joy from reading these. I have so little time to read, what if I just want to learn about science and art and history too?
So I have taken a step back. I thought that I would just get over this lull and continue mostly where I had left off but that wouldn't have solved any of the questions I have or reassured me. God and I are starting to talk again, slowly. I am not going to actively seek to share my faith, I may not even yet refer to myself as a christian (should a christian not represent Christ? I do not wish to misrepresent him while I am seeking myself), I am not going to try to read books on evangelism or tithing or anything else except the Bible. I'll go to churh. I may not worship, I may. I am seeking a relationship with Christ. If and when this becomes a reality in my life, if and when I can say that I love Christ as my saviour (I never could say this, thus another source of guilt and questioning) then out of that love I will call myself a christian and I will share my faith with those around me.
Here goes the great experiment. I will be standing at the door, knocking.
The last semester (or last 8 months I suppose) God and I took a little break from each other. It had come to the point where I couldn't remember what having faith felt like and I was tired of trying to reach God. I still had all of the head-knowledge but couldn't say whether I believed it. Strangely enough I can say that I believe that if there is a God then it is the Christian God and that Christ came to earth to save us from our sins but it really is true that knowing it intellectually isn't the same as knowing it 'in my heart'. It has taken some time but I can see that a large contributor to this time of disinterest in my faith stemmed from extreme guilt. This guilt was surrounded by performance guilt. Sharing my faith was not something to do because it changed my life so wholly that I could not help but tell others but out of obligation. Failure to do so with my family caused great distress, especially when I would go home and instead of focusing on improving my relationship with them and showing them God through my life I would be looking for chances to slip in the whole gospel but each time shying away.
Assurance of salvation, another concept that I could teach but not accept. The guilt of teaching it to others and even the shame of being involved but constantly doubting my own salvation made me ask God why he would give some the ability to accept this gift and not others.
Another confession: I dislike Christian literature. THe early Christians had the Bible and the teachings of elders and others but they didn't need to emmerse themselves in John Piper to make their faith relevant. But everyone is constantly reading all of these 'how to be more effective at sharing your faith' books and the guilt would set in because I didn't feel like I could be a good or productive Christian unless I got joy from reading these. I have so little time to read, what if I just want to learn about science and art and history too?
So I have taken a step back. I thought that I would just get over this lull and continue mostly where I had left off but that wouldn't have solved any of the questions I have or reassured me. God and I are starting to talk again, slowly. I am not going to actively seek to share my faith, I may not even yet refer to myself as a christian (should a christian not represent Christ? I do not wish to misrepresent him while I am seeking myself), I am not going to try to read books on evangelism or tithing or anything else except the Bible. I'll go to churh. I may not worship, I may. I am seeking a relationship with Christ. If and when this becomes a reality in my life, if and when I can say that I love Christ as my saviour (I never could say this, thus another source of guilt and questioning) then out of that love I will call myself a christian and I will share my faith with those around me.
Here goes the great experiment. I will be standing at the door, knocking.
Two Deep Breaths
Deep Breath #1: School just started and I'm already wondering how I will ever get all of this done. I think I enjoyed having four classes last semester way too much; I must now pay my dues. At least I am exceptionally excited about Spanish and (drum roll, please) LINGUISTICS! I can't wait, it will be fascinating. I can even keep the textbook for ever and ever. It is actually looking like more work that I expected from a first year class but I can't complain.
Deep Breath #2: I had a few moments of "where is the world headed??" and "these are the people who will be running the country?!?" in my marketing strategies class. It is difficult to write about this through my disgust and embarrassment to have been witness to such a sad sight. A girl had brought her tiny tiny (I thought there was a size limit for mammals?) dog to class in a very expensive looking puma bag (which I'm pretty sure was either made just for dogs or maybe skates) that matched her packsack. The poor creature was terrified and trembling (most likely out of embarrassment). Why? How can a real person actually be that cliche? If I ever turn into a walking cliche someone please (please!) stop me!
Deep Breath #2: I had a few moments of "where is the world headed??" and "these are the people who will be running the country?!?" in my marketing strategies class. It is difficult to write about this through my disgust and embarrassment to have been witness to such a sad sight. A girl had brought her tiny tiny (I thought there was a size limit for mammals?) dog to class in a very expensive looking puma bag (which I'm pretty sure was either made just for dogs or maybe skates) that matched her packsack. The poor creature was terrified and trembling (most likely out of embarrassment). Why? How can a real person actually be that cliche? If I ever turn into a walking cliche someone please (please!) stop me!
Saturday, December 30
For the Record
Better late than never I suppose. The soo officially has snow as of last night. Its about time. I thought I wasw guaranteed a white Christmas by living up here but nothing is for sure.
Leaving at 445am for TO, i still need some dark makeup and maybe a suitcase with wheels. Oh, and someone to be the guarantor for my passport. why do I wait until the last minute for everything?
Leaving at 445am for TO, i still need some dark makeup and maybe a suitcase with wheels. Oh, and someone to be the guarantor for my passport. why do I wait until the last minute for everything?
Thursday, December 21
Some things Don't Change Part II
Being back for the holidays I wasn't sure how many of my friends I would see.
Last night I went to tim horton's with Shawnna and Steph. When I lived in wawa Shawnna lived two streets behind me. We learned to bake gingerbread together, we called each other on Christmas morning to see what eachother received, we watched CMT religiously, we went through the Hanson phase together. I moved here and her family followed suit a year later: just one street over. She quickly started hanging out with me and my other two close friends Lori and Steph. At least once a week we would walk to the Tim Horton's on the corner and laugh and talk about everything going on.
Shawnna spent last year in Japan, I hadn't spoken to her in almost two years. Steph goes to Guelph but I think we have hung out once at school in the last three years. But, we met up at Timmies and it was like nothing had ever changed. I know its cliche but we just talked about everything going on in our lives, we bought candy and went back to Shawnna's and talked for a few more hours. It wasn't awkward or weird, it was like we were back in highschool. I am so luck to have friends like that.
Last night I went to tim horton's with Shawnna and Steph. When I lived in wawa Shawnna lived two streets behind me. We learned to bake gingerbread together, we called each other on Christmas morning to see what eachother received, we watched CMT religiously, we went through the Hanson phase together. I moved here and her family followed suit a year later: just one street over. She quickly started hanging out with me and my other two close friends Lori and Steph. At least once a week we would walk to the Tim Horton's on the corner and laugh and talk about everything going on.
Shawnna spent last year in Japan, I hadn't spoken to her in almost two years. Steph goes to Guelph but I think we have hung out once at school in the last three years. But, we met up at Timmies and it was like nothing had ever changed. I know its cliche but we just talked about everything going on in our lives, we bought candy and went back to Shawnna's and talked for a few more hours. It wasn't awkward or weird, it was like we were back in highschool. I am so luck to have friends like that.
Monday, December 18
One week
I still cant believe that I have been home for a week now. i must admit to taking quite a bit of advantage over the break, being pretty lazy although not getting as much reading done as i had hoped. Luckily I have some disgustingly long bus rides to look forward to. I always take more out of the library than I can possibly finish if I also plan to see my family for more than meal breaks. I am working on Cider House Rules (actually my copy so maybe I should give it a rest) but its my workout reading. Actually dangerous because I let myself use the bike instead of the elliptical with the excuse that i need to get some reading done.
Another book i'm into is "The Collapse of Globalism" by John Ralston Saul and A History of India. If only I could choose one topic of interest and be well read on that subject. There is basically no snow here which is disconcerting; how can I feel good about the state of the environment now?
Another book i'm into is "The Collapse of Globalism" by John Ralston Saul and A History of India. If only I could choose one topic of interest and be well read on that subject. There is basically no snow here which is disconcerting; how can I feel good about the state of the environment now?
Wednesday, December 13
Some things dont change
The greyhound arrived in the Soo at lunch on Tuesday from Guelph, having left at 1030 Monday night. Anyone continuing on to Vancouver will be arriving at 9:20pm Thursday evening. I wonder if the single mother with her new son was warmly welcomed by the new grandparents. She would have arrived this morning I think. It was surprising the number of young single mothers on this trip, they bonded easily with each other while waiting for the very late bus to return from a tune-up in Sudbury.
Now that i'm home there is so much to do. That will keep me busy but I plan to also spend some quality time reading. I have already finished half of Go Ask Alice. More for teen readers following an anonymous young girls diary from a good home to the streets of California running away from a drug addiction. It's sad, i should have chosen something more upbeat for my first book home but it is an easy two or three hour read.
I just returned from the Plummer Hospital, geniously situated right next to the General hospital. One city, two hospitals, right beside each other? More importantly that the brilliance of the location planners I spent a few hours visiting with my Nonno. It was a bit of a shock to walk into his room and see that his face wasn't the same. He had sunken cheeks and his nose was so thin, his whole face was so thin. I probably would have cried except that he cannot help telling jokes. He told me about the day my aunt Marsha was born, 38 years ago when men didn't go into the hospital room and he slept at the Diplomat hotel waiting for news. Too bad the man behind the reception desk fell asleep and didn't get the phone call to announce the birth of his 5th child. He apologized to his middle of 5 children for the five years he tormented him about his long, curly hippie hair. Three of his sisters visited him (he is the oldest of 8 children). One brushed his hair, another recounted how he had refused to sit in the hard hospital chair any longer because he was not suffering from ALL in fact, he was suffering from the A-S-S disease. The middle sister insisted on getting Nonno on her side about how spoiled the oldest sister had been in childhood. all over the age of 60 and still taunting each other!
One comfort was that when I held his hand it was the same. Nothing had changed that i could see. His gold wedding band a bit faded stuck over his finger on his hands that seem to be the only part of his body that hasn't been affected by the quick weightloss. I guess that means i am doomed to have chubby fingers forever, its genetic!
Now that i'm home there is so much to do. That will keep me busy but I plan to also spend some quality time reading. I have already finished half of Go Ask Alice. More for teen readers following an anonymous young girls diary from a good home to the streets of California running away from a drug addiction. It's sad, i should have chosen something more upbeat for my first book home but it is an easy two or three hour read.
I just returned from the Plummer Hospital, geniously situated right next to the General hospital. One city, two hospitals, right beside each other? More importantly that the brilliance of the location planners I spent a few hours visiting with my Nonno. It was a bit of a shock to walk into his room and see that his face wasn't the same. He had sunken cheeks and his nose was so thin, his whole face was so thin. I probably would have cried except that he cannot help telling jokes. He told me about the day my aunt Marsha was born, 38 years ago when men didn't go into the hospital room and he slept at the Diplomat hotel waiting for news. Too bad the man behind the reception desk fell asleep and didn't get the phone call to announce the birth of his 5th child. He apologized to his middle of 5 children for the five years he tormented him about his long, curly hippie hair. Three of his sisters visited him (he is the oldest of 8 children). One brushed his hair, another recounted how he had refused to sit in the hard hospital chair any longer because he was not suffering from ALL in fact, he was suffering from the A-S-S disease. The middle sister insisted on getting Nonno on her side about how spoiled the oldest sister had been in childhood. all over the age of 60 and still taunting each other!
One comfort was that when I held his hand it was the same. Nothing had changed that i could see. His gold wedding band a bit faded stuck over his finger on his hands that seem to be the only part of his body that hasn't been affected by the quick weightloss. I guess that means i am doomed to have chubby fingers forever, its genetic!
Saturday, December 9
Two year Bloggaversary
About this time two years ago is when I started my blog. It was born out of distraction and a need to heal my brain during exam times. Out of a possible (approx.) 740 opportunities to blog I have taken 127 of them. Not a bad ratio but I would aim to improve it.
One thing that has held me back quite a bit is that fine line between being honest and real and just giving away too darn much information. My whole life this semester has felt like it was hovering over that line and it was difficult because blogging is a release for me. I'm not a big fan of writing in a journal so this allows me to have some record of my life over the last few years and hopefully into the next few. But it has been horribly incomplete for the last few months because everything important i have been dealing with has been absent. There have been many great joke opportunities missed because of the somewhat sensitivity of the topic. Maybe it would be easier if I didn't know anyone who read my blog. Maybe I'm just tired of censoring myself. I can't decide. As many a blogger has asked, where is that line?
One thing that has held me back quite a bit is that fine line between being honest and real and just giving away too darn much information. My whole life this semester has felt like it was hovering over that line and it was difficult because blogging is a release for me. I'm not a big fan of writing in a journal so this allows me to have some record of my life over the last few years and hopefully into the next few. But it has been horribly incomplete for the last few months because everything important i have been dealing with has been absent. There have been many great joke opportunities missed because of the somewhat sensitivity of the topic. Maybe it would be easier if I didn't know anyone who read my blog. Maybe I'm just tired of censoring myself. I can't decide. As many a blogger has asked, where is that line?
Wednesday, December 6
traquilizarse
The title is the Spanish verb "to calm oneself down". I am so calm right now that I am not even studying for my Spanish exam that is in less than 6 hours.
One thing that I think calms me down no matter what is hearing someone talk with an accent. Weird? Maybe, but it works every time. I just need to find a long cd of someone talking with an accent. If only they would station someone whose first language was french (actually pretty much any accent will do, It even works to talk to the Indian people on the Dell helpline) at the Blood Donor clinic waiting area, right as I walk into an exam or beside me on airplane rides.
Solo cuatro dias hasta salgo para Sault Ste. Marie. No creo que este semestre ya ha terminado!
One thing that I think calms me down no matter what is hearing someone talk with an accent. Weird? Maybe, but it works every time. I just need to find a long cd of someone talking with an accent. If only they would station someone whose first language was french (actually pretty much any accent will do, It even works to talk to the Indian people on the Dell helpline) at the Blood Donor clinic waiting area, right as I walk into an exam or beside me on airplane rides.
Solo cuatro dias hasta salgo para Sault Ste. Marie. No creo que este semestre ya ha terminado!
Monday, December 4
productivity (in a pear tree)
These last few days have been so relaxing and productive, I love exam time! I have baked over 200 cookies and even got to decorate a whole batch of sugar cookies, you can't much more fun than that! I won't say how many episodes of Friends I watched in that time but if I make it a goal to watch the whole series then watching episodes is productive, right? Right.
I plan on heading out for the great white north on the 11th of december. I have never left early for the holidays, this is revolutionary! It is good because my Nonno (grandpa) has been sick off and on since thanksgiving but I can't call him because he doesnt hear so hot on the phone. He was diagnosed with Chronic Myelocytic Leukemia about a month ago. it is a cancer of the white blood cells, it is actually manageable with just a few rounds of chemo and some pills but it will never go away. He had an infection a few days ago and they thought he would not make it but he pulled through but they are making him stay in isolation, he hates the hospital. Anyway, prayer for him would be appreciated, for his health, for my Nana because she is very stressed and our whole family because its Christmas time.
I plan on heading out for the great white north on the 11th of december. I have never left early for the holidays, this is revolutionary! It is good because my Nonno (grandpa) has been sick off and on since thanksgiving but I can't call him because he doesnt hear so hot on the phone. He was diagnosed with Chronic Myelocytic Leukemia about a month ago. it is a cancer of the white blood cells, it is actually manageable with just a few rounds of chemo and some pills but it will never go away. He had an infection a few days ago and they thought he would not make it but he pulled through but they are making him stay in isolation, he hates the hospital. Anyway, prayer for him would be appreciated, for his health, for my Nana because she is very stressed and our whole family because its Christmas time.
Thursday, November 30
Tastes just like a Penny
I have been looking forward to today for weeks. It was blood donor day and I was going to conquer my fears. I woke up a little anxious but I was not scared, maybe it was subconscious. My biggest hurdle would be the iron test but I had been training for the last week by consuming great amounts of beef jerky. My blood sank like something that is completely not buoyant, I had enough iron! So, you say, you're in! You did it! No, I still failed! The heart rate test! Well, of course, I'm an anxious person! That's just me!
I am so disappointed. Passing the iron test was like passing the MCATS and then being offered a position to med school then, when I was so excited from the news they say "oh, just as a formality you need to take this small spelling test". I'm so excited that I can't concentrate and mispell "floride" (see it should be Fluoride") and they revoke my offer of admission. For a spelling test???? You have to be kidding me.
I am so disappointed. Passing the iron test was like passing the MCATS and then being offered a position to med school then, when I was so excited from the news they say "oh, just as a formality you need to take this small spelling test". I'm so excited that I can't concentrate and mispell "floride" (see it should be Fluoride") and they revoke my offer of admission. For a spelling test???? You have to be kidding me.
Tuesday, November 28
It's Official
That I have no life.
So, i have the biggest crush that i have had in months. Don't get too excited. It is on Chandler Bing. Thats right, from Friends. I have watched season three and half of season four since last week. Who has that kind of time at the end of the semester? Apparently I do. Plus I napped today and went to Zellers. Maybe I'll mix it up tomorrow and actually talk to people outside my house.
But, one exciting thing this week is Thursday. In two days I will be drained of my prescious iron-carrying fluid. I'm not telling this to make myself sound like a good person, it is just a momentous breakthrough for me! First time ever! I have been terrified of needles having never actually had blood taken it was the unknown that scared me. So a few weeks ago I had to have a blood test and I discovered something....it's not that bad! Actually its great, because now i get to complete one of the things on the list of things i want to do in my life. I suppose that's contingent on my having enough iron for them to let me do it. Does anyone know how to increase iron level in the blood artificially in a short period of time? I ate some beef jerky before writing this blog...
Another little push, on the Canadian Blood services website one could sign up for the bone marrow registry. I encourage people to check this out, mull it around for a bit. Being on the list does not at all mean you will ever be asked to do it.
So, i have the biggest crush that i have had in months. Don't get too excited. It is on Chandler Bing. Thats right, from Friends. I have watched season three and half of season four since last week. Who has that kind of time at the end of the semester? Apparently I do. Plus I napped today and went to Zellers. Maybe I'll mix it up tomorrow and actually talk to people outside my house.
But, one exciting thing this week is Thursday. In two days I will be drained of my prescious iron-carrying fluid. I'm not telling this to make myself sound like a good person, it is just a momentous breakthrough for me! First time ever! I have been terrified of needles having never actually had blood taken it was the unknown that scared me. So a few weeks ago I had to have a blood test and I discovered something....it's not that bad! Actually its great, because now i get to complete one of the things on the list of things i want to do in my life. I suppose that's contingent on my having enough iron for them to let me do it. Does anyone know how to increase iron level in the blood artificially in a short period of time? I ate some beef jerky before writing this blog...
Another little push, on the Canadian Blood services website one could sign up for the bone marrow registry. I encourage people to check this out, mull it around for a bit. Being on the list does not at all mean you will ever be asked to do it.
Sunday, November 19
Dag yo
Here I am as a brown person. Its better when I'm the only one in the picture because then you can't see how my newly tanned skin tone is actually the same colour of everyone else's.
Thursday, November 16
Motivational Speaker
Another job I can take off the ever lengthening list of things I dont' want to do when I grow up (along with teacher, taxidermist, tambourine player, road-line painter....). Actually I'm not motivated to do a whole lot lately, hence the lack of blogging. Reading. Thats the one thing I seem to be doing but maybe because at least its not sleeping, one can only sleep so much. Maybe thats what I'll be, a professional reader (i had banked on student-for-life but that involves homework and it isn't on my aforementioned list of things I am motivated to do).
Aside from all that, I finished my last midterm. Meaning, since i have one exam, that I will only be tested in such a manner once more this year (calendar year that is).
Two elements of good news. I saw a little dog today that was wearing a rain coat! Not in a sissy and embarrassing Paris Hilton's-dog kind of way but a really cool little rainproof get-up that looks like he crawled inside a MEC packsack.
The next is that i finally have access to my very own $2000 portable email checker (I used 2000 as a means for expensive, i am not actually saying what I spent, not that I wouldn't). Its from D**L. I block it out since some people treat that like an expletive in the computer savvy world, luckily I am not computer savvy and I like my sleek 14.1 inches of mcafee protected high-tech goodness. Right now I am taking a few hours out of my week to do something essential: reinstall all that music!
Aside from all that, I finished my last midterm. Meaning, since i have one exam, that I will only be tested in such a manner once more this year (calendar year that is).
Two elements of good news. I saw a little dog today that was wearing a rain coat! Not in a sissy and embarrassing Paris Hilton's-dog kind of way but a really cool little rainproof get-up that looks like he crawled inside a MEC packsack.
The next is that i finally have access to my very own $2000 portable email checker (I used 2000 as a means for expensive, i am not actually saying what I spent, not that I wouldn't). Its from D**L. I block it out since some people treat that like an expletive in the computer savvy world, luckily I am not computer savvy and I like my sleek 14.1 inches of mcafee protected high-tech goodness. Right now I am taking a few hours out of my week to do something essential: reinstall all that music!
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