Fighting Against my Nature

Those in the speech-language pathology program (good-naturedly) joke on a frequent basis about how very keen and high-strung our program is as a whole.  Of course, there are a few laid back people but in general we're all Type A, super-keen personalities.  We will question a prof to the inch of their sanity about the details of an assignment.  People have been known for freaking about about getting their very first A- (which is still in the "A-town" just in the suburbs).  A few of us have been tossing around the idea about doing a class survey since so many of us seem to be firstborns, extra-cooked*, left-handed french horn players.  I fall into three of those 4 categories (I'm not musical in the least!).  In fact:  CLICK HERE.  There!  Take the freakin survey (please) Open to SLPers and nons.  Now we'll know for real.

The reason I have been thinking about uptightness is that last night a few friends laughingly (but no jokingly) commented (after I shared a very uptight feature of myself that I will share again below) that I often come across as a very chill, laid back person at first.  AT FIRST.  And then they get to know me.  Maybe I should be insulted, but I'm not.  I admitted that it takes me so much work to come across as laid back. Mostly because I want to be that way (to an extent) but it doesn't come naturally.  I have definitely calmed down (read: gotten lazier) in the last few years but my true self pokes through at times.  It is probably the most obvious when doing a task or visiting a place and I'm not allowed to do so in a step-by-step way or there isn't an obvious, methodical way of completing something.  Grocery store?  I'd prefer to start at one end and make my way systematically through the aisles.  Exam?  I'll start at the beginning and move from first to last without skipping questions.  Garage Sales?  I need to get up really early to make sure I don't miss anything good.  And create myself a google map the night before to identify clusters of sales for an efficient route.

Oh, you want to just walk around this museum I've never been to haphazardly and see what we can find?  ....ok (eye twitch).  Oh, we all want to sleep in on our trip to the UK/Boston/Cusco when there are so many things to see and do and not that much time? ....sure (spasm).

The story I shared last night that I think highlights this very special side of me revolves around reading.  As a child I loved to read Goosebumps by RL Stine.  When I would run out of new chapter books I'd pick up a Choose Your Own Adventure.  These were always fairly stressful for me so I usually waited until I had nothing else to read.  How can choose your own adventure be stressful?  Isn't it fun to make up your own story?

Um, NO!  How can I be sure that I've read all the possible endings?  What if I miss an entire storyline?  What if I don't want to start the book over every time I reach an ending?  Let me tell you.  You develop a system using bookmarks and page numbers written on said bookmarks.  When you reach a choice you write the page number of said choice on the bookmark.  You then make a choice and read ahead.  Another choice?  Write that page number down next.  Keep doing this until you reach a dead end (ie a story ending).  Now what?  Check bookmark:  what was the most recent page number representing a choice on the list?  Go back to that choice and make the opposite choice.  Read ahead continuing to mark down page numbers.

Continue with said system until you have read all possible endings and you have back-tracked back to the original story-directing question and make the opposite choice.  Start again.  Finish book.

Anyone else do this?  What stresses you out?

*Not baked.  Cooked.  Like spent too much time in the uterus.

Editor's Note: I have to give credit to Hi-C for pointing this one out.  Four of us (3 SLP students and one OT student) were playing Settlers of Catan last weekend.  Each player gets a set of wooden game pieces consisting of little houses, cities and roads (sticks).  Partway into the game Hi-C looks around the table and notices that all 3 of the SLP students have automatically lined up all of the pieces neatly according to size into little organized groups (not to mention the constant straightening of the rows of roads) while the OT student had left hers just as she had dumped them into a pile on the table.  We judge small children for doing this and query autism.  Just saying.