SLP Haikus

Sending in my final final exam (of the summer ovester) has inspired me to write some SLP-related Haikus. I'll be updating the post as they come to me so check back!

Voice Perve

Vocal folds abound.

Don’t look at them in public,

you crazy pervert.

Therapy Schmerapy

Chew chant swallow boom

Is it really just a joke?

Try yawn therapy.

Nodes

Give me a nodule

Not papillomatosis

Any day of the week [Editor's note: Hi-MLPK kindly pointed out that the word 'any' has two syllables. Wow. So that makes this line 6. I'm working on it]

New Line: Get them gardasil

Aural Rehab

Put in a carpet

And some visual alarms

I’m hearing impaired

AAC (I decided to make a nice one)

It gives me a voice

When before it I had none

Be patient with me

Some of the Barefoot Evidence

This video explains very basically what my new obsession is about.

Thank you G20

Apparently $1 billion in security isn't enough. Most of Toronto's downtown core will be shut down this week in preparation for the ensuing protests that many are assuming will become riots. With destruction. And terrorism. And to the fear mongers I owe gratitude. Gratitude that I get to study for, what now will be, take-home exams in the comfort of my parents' living room, go on a shopping trip for new shoes with my mommy and sister, eat chocolate, visit friends and, when it stops raining, enjoy the beautiful summer weather. My second exam is tomorrow (the first was in class yesterday, I guess they can't all be take-home). It is 1130 am and in preparation of said exam I have slept in, watched Criminal Minds (creepy!), blogged, helped my now-an-adult little brother make felt stars and moons. Thanks again G20!

Holding Me Back

As usual, I'm the only one holding me back. In this instance I'm talking specifically about running. To keep you posted on the fivefingers: still great. The soles are quite thin but surprisingly comfortable and protective. I keep expecting to blow out my knee or have sudden, sharp heel pain since they offer no support at all while I run on concrete but all continues well (*knocks on wood*).

Now that I have the shoes and the gear (new shorts, sweat-wicking t-shirts, a special belt for waterbottle/key transportation) the only thing holding me back is my choices when I'm not running: my diet. For the past few months I've been eating basically what I want when I want it. My body seems to have reached a happy plateau where that works if I run 5 times a week. I could be more in shape if I made a great effort to eat properly and drink more water. So my diet impacts my overall fitness and it impacts the quality of my running. After an evening of salads and veggies I feel rejuvenated and spry during my morning run. After an evening of pie/chips/KD/you choose I feel sluggish, tired and sometimes physically ill on my jaunt around the neighbourhood. You would think I would learn.

On to phase two: adapting eating habits and lifestyle to fit my hobby.

Workout log: Ran 3.5 km to meet JPD. We 'promptly' ran the stairs at Casa Loma 5 times (and were shown up by people much our senior). Ran 2.5km home (ie. I walked the last 1km...so weak!). 6km total and some stairs: good day!

Paper Plate Awards

Yesterday I was torn from my studies by a plea from the lovely Sharon to help her with her (overly?) ambitious project. What project? To create a paper-plate-award for every member of our 45-strong program (plus 3 profs) to commemorate the end of the semester. I was glad to participate and 5 hours later (6 or more for the truly dedicated) we completed them. Each was was a unique piece of art that highlighted some special attribute about each person. I'll post photos when A?CB posts them on facebook (ie. when I can steal them).

A few examples:

The Luscious Locks Award
The Sultry, Scholarly Scowl Award
The Triple Threat Award (she's pretty, friendly AND smart)
The One Master's Isn't Enough Award

Sharon and JPD included everything (glitter, roses, pipecleaners, stars....) as requested on my "(former) Hot Tub Diva" award since I used to lure people to be my friend by promising them a dip in the hot tub. I was also up for the "Most Improved Wardrobe" Award but sadly I didn't get it ;) They thought I might be insulted but I would have taken it happily. I've gone from frumpy to fabulous these last few months. Most of the improvement has been Hi-C's influence (I have to give credit where credit is due). She is still classier though, since she isn't as cheap as I am.

Hay que hacer mi tarea

Someone should do my homework....I guess that someone is probably me. A friend and I (ok, it's Hi-C...this blog makes it sound like she is my only friend!), we have been taking a Spanish class on Wednesday nights. It is so refreshing to be (at least minimally) interacting in el español. This lesson brought up a very useful expression. The "hint hint, nudge nudge"expression. Basically equivalent to the English "boy, someone should probably wash the dishes...."

Useful ones:
Hay que limpiar el piso (the elusive someone should wash the floor).
Hay que sacar la basura (boy, that garbage can is getting full....it would be great if someone took out the garbage)
Hay que ayudarlo (someone should help him but it isn't gonna be me).

Now you are proficient. The other fun tense is the "it's not my fault" tense/expression. Similar to the English "I was using your new hair straightener and, oh no, it broke....all on it's own...nothing I did...." So we have this handy expression in English but it isn't as versatile or acceptable. For example: Se chocó el carro! "You wouldn't believe what happened, I was driving and the car just crashed (itself)".

And, should we continue the linguistic theme of this post or no? Am I the only one who has started noticing this odd question structure more and more or no? Where is it from? It drives me insane, yet I find myself using this peculiar construction sometimes. I believe it should be "not" in place of "no". Could it possibly be another language influencing the structure of English in present-age? Or is this not a fairly new development and it just all of a sudden started bothering me.....I need an answer and googling "or no?" has been fairly ineffective.

Romilly

I don't have any babies to name so I'll name my projects. I finally finished a lovely pink baby blanket in a new pattern, we'll call her Lucy. This meant that I could finally explore the little yarn store on Nasau Street (Lettuce Knit). The plan was to create a cream and green blanket (as per request...*Hi-C*...cough) but they didn't have those colours in affordable wool. Did you know it also has to be washable? So I got creative and picked out my current favourite colour combo.

Meet Romilly:
A little unconventional for a baby blanket but I think it would be perfect for a funky little girl. Why baby blankets? Simply because, as my friends approach that stage of their lives, I want to be able to give them something meaningful as a gift. And each blanket takes a pretty long time so I'm stocking up!

Preliminary Update (and 500th Post!)

This is my 500th post, I *think*. It may be my 499th published post as I have a draft that is just a bit too personal waiting the ranks, unlikely to be published. I'm unsure if blogger counts my lack-of-ovaries (read: cajones, balls, etc.) as a post.

The preliminary update, however, is not about my blog*: it is about my wonky shoes (aka the Vibram's Fivefingers that I purchased in Boston). For the first few days I both ran in the shoes and wore them for general walking purposes throughout the day. I know that I had been warned to "take it easy at first" but they were/are comfortable. Then I paid for a bout 3 days with very stiff calves. Now, while I think I could wear them all the time without issue, I use them faithfully for morning runs (Shout out to the G half of Ball&G for picking me up in the morning and setting a good pace for me). Guess what? They feel amazing!!!! At first there was some wariness since we run on concrete and not lovely trails. They feel even better on soft dirt but they are fine on concrete too.

When I run in them I definitely find that I put very little pressure on my heel. Most pressure is concentrated along the outer side of my foot and on the balls of my feet. When I remember to concentrate on my form and make an effort to spring off my toes I'm able to increase my speed without any real increase in exertion. Today we did 4.25km in about 26 minutes. I think it is time to increase the route to 5km and see how fast we** can go!

*Should this have been a semi-colon? My punctuation senses were tingling but not specifically enough. Will someone please teach me to use punctuation properly???

**Miss G is already routinely runs more than 5km but I am fortunate enough to run part of her route in the mornings.

In Training

I was in a card games mood so I took it upon myself at lunch the other day to train a few new Dutch Blitz minions. Even with my game savvy friends I've found that good ol' DB is not well known outside of Christian circles. It can be easily purchased at any reasonably well-stocked Christian bookstore. I now have 7 more people to call upon for a rousing, fight-to-the-death game. It doesn't take long before the cursing comes out either. Even fairly mild mannered people begin to take it quite seriously.

They should change their slogan from Dutch Blitz: A Vonderful Goot Game! to
Dutch Blitz: Brings out de vurst in people.

I Feel a bit like Exaggerating

Hi-C and I trekked (ok, walked 2 blocks) down to Queen West after school today to try a few things on at Lavish&Squalor. It is an adorable store with friendly staff, cute vintage-style (is 80s vintage now too???) clothing and HORRIBLE DRESSING ROOMS. More specifically the lighting. It may just be the angle that the lights glare down on your imperfections but nothing would look flattering and no one would feel good about themselves in there. If you venture out into the little foyer to see the clothes in the open air you will likely be pleasantly surprised since they seem to transform immediately under new lighting. The lighting is so awful that the full-length mirror doesn't just highlight but magnifies all flaws. I think it even finds imperfections of the soul and bares them for all to see (luckily you'll probably be the only one in the change room). I imagine it was like being Dorian Grey except you didn't deserve the horrible torture.

To summarize: cute store, don't try things on if you aren't feel absolutely stellar about yourself (maybe take some laxatives first too).