Monday, February 9

Two seemingly unrelated thoughts

Julia and I feed each other's lust for chocolate. Today she started it by asking me to accompany her to the Hasty Market for Mini-eggs (need I say more?). When we left I had a Cadbury Cream Egg and a surprise bag (Berny's Surprise Bag to be precise; only $1, what a steal!). When I returned to my stats assignment I had only the surprise bag but hadn't eaten any candy yet. So I retraced the trail down the stairs, through the living room, past the shoes and right out the door (sans coat)....down the street, through the parking lot, past the Tan Factory and "Ahoy" right on the median in the middle of the road: My CREAM EGG! I hadn't really thought about the implications of having lost it outside when I was looking for it but I checked for wetness and damage of which there was neither. So I ate it.

Topic change (I hope these aren't related). It has been about two weeks since I dropped a dose of Effexor to 112.5. I'm supposed to hover her for another two weeks and then drop again to 75 when the real changes are supposed to occur. The closer I get though the more I wonder if I can handle it. The anxiety is slowly creeping back in. Right now it is definitely manageable. I still do laundry, still sleep through the night, still go to the bathroom if I need to.

However, like I said, it is creeping back. While I did go to the bathroom last night (most nights bring one trip) it wasn't without a bit of wariness. Wait until my eyes adjust. Check behind shower curtain for creepers. Go back to room. Turn on light to check in closet and under bed for creepers. That probably already sounds slightly pathetic to all you people who can just drowsily walk from bedroom to bathroom, pee while almost missing the toilet and sleepwalk back to bed, but for me it is minimal distuption.

So I will use an "ease of night time bathroom use" scale to track my progress. 1 being I barely even open my eyes and anything beyond 10 is me not even bothering to pee because I can't leave my room. Ok so right now we are at a 2.5. That is respectable.

No comments: