Thursday, April 10

Some diseases I have thought I had

There are a few conditions on this blog. The first is that I don't mean any disrespect by listing a disease. At some point in my life I really did manage at some point spend much of my caloric intake worrying about the condition. Also, hypochondria seems like the new vogue. With all these diagnoses available online (and late at night) it has become a plague (that no one actually has).

1. Hypochondria: maybe i'm not neurotic enough for the actual diagnosis. And I don't have a doctor so it saves plenty of time.

2. Cancer: This can be brought on by headaches (brain cancer [see aneurysm]) or neck lumps (so many muslces, glands and natural lumpiness!). This is actually a serious topic and I wholeheartedly suppose self-monitoring.

3. OCD: actually true but on the low spectrum (once you get to the low spectrum who doesn't have it?). I could regale you with bunches of stories about childhood neuroses.

4. MS: I read an ad as a preteen about MS that asked "Do you ever wake up in the morning and can no longer walk?". This stuck with me. I once woke in mid-night with a useless arm and not remembering having slept on it, which caused some heart palpitations.

5. Aneurysms: this does run in the family.

6. Diabetes: this really runs in the family (maybe I shouldn't advertise all my bad genes if Mark reads this?). I pee a lot. Excessive peeing = "oh no! My beta cells are kicking out!"

7. Some sort of brain wasting: This is more just passing and easily dismissed. But I am SO FORGETFUL!

I'm sure there are more to add but I should be thankful for actually be pretty darn healthy. This is when I'm supposed to be at my peak. I can't believe I should start feeling older from now on....

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