Sunday, October 30

Time to "Gopher" an Adventure

I'm so witty.

The purpose of this is multi-fold.  1) To make you incredibly jealous of my adventures.  2) To show you that if you come to visit me I bring it.  3) To demonstrate the somewhat backwardness of this region of Canada.

ShanWow came down this weekend to the Deer and boy did I have some plans for us.  Especially getting to bed nice and early on Friday night.  So we could be up for adventure on Saturday....of course.  The only thing that could have made Saturday better would have been me offering waffles and bacon for breakfast instead of lame-toast.  But you can't win them all.  We jumped into Otto and sped* off to the Red Deer craft show at Westerner Park.

Back up.  I forgot one of the most exciting parts of the weekend.  ShanWow arrived on the G'Hound at approx 830pm Friday night.  Having yet to go to the station myself I used the ol'GPS to get there and, since her bus was late, pulled into the Dairy Queen across the street to wait (with a Blizzard).  Things were dandy, we enjoyed some soft serve and then it was time to head home.  Looking both ways I pulled out of the parking lot and made it about 30 feet when it simultaneously dawned on ShanWow to ask "This isn't a ONE WAY STREET is it?".  Then sensory overload as I processed her question, the cars coming at me from the incorrect direction and the flashing Po-po lights in my rear-view mirror.  Pulling into the nearest parking lot to wait for the officers.  They are EVERYWHERE!  And sneaky!  This was my very first time being pulled over and my first time having to present my license and registration to a uniformed civil servant.  I blame the poor signage.  Although I played up my newness to Red Deer and they let me off with a friendly reminder that the downtown of the city is a maze of one-way streets.

Now back to the craft show.  It was pretty darn cool. AND we bought things because we have jobs and money.  And you couldn't elbow someone without damaging an unborn child.  I swear to pumpkin milkshakes that every woman in Red Deer is reproducing.  If the world is over-populated I have found the culprit.  Government - if you're looking for a place to do top-secret medical testing this might be the place.  But I walked out happy with some emu lip balm and a new children's book to add to my collection.  Technically I buy a kid's book in any place that I travel but since moving here counts as an adventure and it was published by Red Deer Press AND the illustrator was there to SIGN IT I feel like this was a boon for me.  I am now the proud owner of Tiger's New Cowboy Boots.

The craft show was just the opener though.  Did you know that if you drive south 45 minutes to Olds, hang a  louis and keep on going for another half hour you will find the jewel of the prairies?  I'm using the term jewel metaphorically of course to represent the Torrington Gopher Museum.  Since the moment I hear about this place I knew it would be awesome and, since ShanWow also has great taste, I saved it for her visit.  Much to our dismay we found online that the museum was only open June to September.  GASP!  Do not fear fair readers - we decided to call *just in case*.  We were rewarded for our tenacity, too.  Who should pick but Diane, a curator of sorts for this magnificent display and she informed us that, with enough notice (meaning at least 3 minutes and 39 seconds needed for her to walk across town) she would open the museum for visitors  throughout the year if we just "gave her a dingle" on her home phone.  The rest of the story can be told pictographically.

Clem, the town mascot

Every hydrant here has a personality

We stopped for lunch.

Pizza N' More "Eh" has a monopoly on the local fuel market

We gave Diane a dingle and she met us at the museum.  We took up the parking lot.

She asked if we wanted to wear the gopher head.  Need she even ask???

 Of course this was not all I had in store.  The rest of the evening was spent making gnocchi from scratch then eating said gnocchi.  We turned on Hocus Pocus (who doesn't love a buck-toothed Bette Midler and an air-headed Sarah Jessica Parker sucking the souls out of children?) and carved pumpkins until out hearts were full of Halloween spirit.

*I feel like a rebellious hooligan driving my usual 10km over the speed limit here. 


Beth said...

i laughed out loud at:

a. the one-way street story.

b. "And you couldn't elbow someone without damaging an unborn child. I swear to pumpkin milkshakes that every woman in Red Deer is reproducing. If the world is over-populated I have found the culprit. Government - if you're looking for a place to do top-secret medical testing this might be the place."

c. the entire gopher museum phenomenon. AMAZE-BALLS.

Paul Quesnele said...

BHAHAHAHA love the pictures! Were those real animals done taxidermy style though??? Sick! Sounds like quite the adventure though... I love randomness!

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