Monday, December 8

Most of my thoughts and stress and thoughts about stress have somehow been focused on grad school applications. I want to be a speech-language pathologist more than anything I have ever wanted to be (except maybe paleontologist from grades 2-6). By nature I am an uncertain person but this I have no doubts about. I have spent years trying to determine what I want to 'be' and now it is up to a bunch of committees to judge my worth based on 3000 characters of intent, transcripts, reference letters and volunteer experience. You know what, I would be an amazing SLP. How do I show them that over the other 300 applicants (for less than 30 spots).

Applications are going out to Western, U of T, McGill and Dal. I'm dropping money like it is hot; burning lava hot. The application fees seem like a money grab but protesting that now won't get me far in my career. Tonight I started biting my nails again for the first time since I decided to quit in September. It isn't the prospect of three more years of school or being away (although those things can be daunting) but the fact that I just don't know what will happen. I can get through more studies if they have a direct purpose, a specific goal I just have to tough out to reach the end goal. None of this education will be pointless but it will be so difficult to see the benefit if I do not get in. I don't yet have a back up plan except applying to colleges in the Communicative Disorders Assistant program to buy myself some experience. How do I stand out?

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