Thursday, July 17

Silver Medal Club

There is a club (unofficial) that meets in the four venue food court of the mall I work in. The only criteria for membership are either physical or subjective.
If the majority of these apply you're in!

1. Bifocals: you can't see far away and you can't read close up.
2. Grey hair (not just one or two but many). Died counts.
3. Cotton pant suits in bright or pastel colours. (Have flood pants in light green with pleats down the front?)
4. Hearing aid and/or dentures
5. Enjoy walking back and forth repetitively for exercise
6. Retired (bonus points if what you retired from was teaching)
7. Wallet/purse with photos of grandchildren
8. Plenty of complaints (mostly physical, weather or government related; extra points if you have arthritis pains from the weather and the government isn't covering the medical claims)

That is it, if you check off four or more then you are in. Show up before the mall opens, grab some comfy walking shoes and a coffee.

If that is retirement I don't look forward to it. Although I never thought I would like going to bed early or garage saling. Maybe waking up before dawn to meet the mall club is as inevitable as switching to elastic pants after a certain (for comfort of course).


Silas said...

what I wonder is, how do they get there? do they walk to the mall? take the bus? drive? because even in the dead of winter they manage to get there...

Katie V. said...

Another mystery that we may not uncover until we can actually join the club. This sounds like the perfect undercover expose operation. It could be a drug ring...what a great cover.