Longest Bus Ride of Life

340am: alarm goes off
405am: Mark and I leave for the bus station (yeah, he's pretty great)
430am: He leaves and I snuggle in on my double-seat
9am: forced off the bus in Sudbury to clean it (really? It was fine the way it was). I do the only studying of the day for my Wednesday midterm.
1015am: back on the bus but it is a little more crowded this time
1220pm: 'lunch' in Parry Sound (so I got a sundae at DQ)
1pm: bus breaks down outside P. Sound
103pm: bus starts again
106pm: bus stops again
----forget the time but we stall 5 times total
310pm: we get rescued by another bus (after the bus driver calls all emergency numbers given to him my Greyhound to find out that all were out of service)
431pm: arrive for the 430 connections and find the line for London outside the building and around the corner. You would think they would prepare for reading week....
510pm: we bounce
749pm: we roll into the station and my awesome housemate picks me up

Let's count them....right 16 hours since my alarm went off all spent in bus-related activities.
It's better when you're excited to get back.

On another note: long trips with nasty bus bathrooms mess up my regularity (if you know what I mean)

Staying Current

Right now I am reading three books: (see above)
Proust and the Squid: the Science of the Reading Brain
--very well-researched and almost as dry
--some interesting historical notes on the development of reading/literacy throughout history
Gulag Archipelago: I'm cheating and reading the abridged version (I don't need all of the torture details anyway)
--Add it to the Holocaust and the Rule of Mao in China and it seems like half the world's population was suffering (and dying) for communism in the early to mid 20th century. The Hitler also seems to be the most conspicuous and, terrifyingly, the least deadly.
All Families are Psychotic: my first introduction to Douglas Coupland and so far I'm enjoying myself

Since I'm currently reading three books that means I am daydreaming about what I will get to sample next. My current "-to-read" shelf on goodreads.com is almost 100 strong and, as of today, more organized. I looked into whether each one is available in the local public library and, if it wasn't and I thought it would be of wider interest, I requested it for purchase.

Go ahead, get involved with your local library. They don't have a book you are interested in? Most likely there is a link on their website (or ask the info desk) that allows you to suggest a book to be purchased. Maybe they'll buy it, maybe they won't but if they do, free books!

Books I requested today:
The Untelling by Tayari Jones
Che Guevara: A Revolutionary Life by Jon Lee Anderson
Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp, Stephanie Klein (maybe my parents should have sent me to one of these as a chubby child)
The Last Days of the Incas
Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel
And 10 or so more....It can't hurt to suggest

Great Expectations

In my opinion that is. I have a little brother, we'll call him Boris (all his friends do anyway) and he is at that crucial period of selecting high school classes to determine the future of his education. I have been there, done that with school and, being 7 years older, my advice is 'clearly' always right. Clearly. I guess I am defining success for my brother how I define it for myself (high level of education, productive member of society, etc.).

Back up a second. Boris is freakin' smart. Really freakin' smart in an engineering/mathy type way. But he hates school. Recently I found out that he hasn't taken any of the university level science classes he will need to get in to university (read: study engineering and make his sister proud). He doesn't want to go to university he was to do a college course to get out of school as fast as he possibly can. He was not having any of it when I pointed out that university is 'better' (for him of course). To which he kindly pointed out the 'usefulness' of my sister's music undergrad and my many years floundering in the academic world for my niche; Touché.

Why does it matter so much then? Because I feel like I see this potential that he is wasting because he is lazy (yep, I said it, he only likes things that come easily to him). I want the very best for my brother. But it does reveal a bit of university vs. college snobbery I don't want to admit I still have. College is a great alternative, so practical, the chance to learn real skills; but for other people, not for my little brother. Uh oh, maybe someone is trying to vicariously correct some of her own mistakes? Poor kid.

ps. I did apologize and he already knows he can take a 5th to recover courses if he for some reason decides he wants to work really hard for 4 years and pay lots of money to do it.

Overshare

On the bus ride entertaining conversations around me sometimes keep me from losing my mind. In Sudbury the seat behind me was taken over by a cute little old lady (LOL) and eventually a young Laurentian student took the seat next to her as the coach filled. He was genial, kind to her and a total over-sharer. (This is all approximate wording, I'm not that good)

LOL: That's a nice cap you have there.
Oversharer: Thanks, my girlfriend bought it for me. It is the third one like it and all have ripped. But it is from Wal-Mart; so either my head is huge or those kids in China really need to step up their game.

(ok, that isn't over-sharing exactly, but I'll show you what is...)

LOL: What are your plans for the break?
Over-sharer: *indecipherable/uninteresting part* And of course I get to see my girlfriend. We'll be getting cuddling and getting naked and rolling around and doing more cuddling. And all that gushy stuff.

Um, what?! And yes, the lady next to me heard the same thing so I'm just hearing what I want to hear (I'm not sure why I would want to hear that). Who says that? I should have followed him after. I can't say this officially, more tests would have to be done, but he may be the Canada's Most Awkward Person. Does the Discovery Channel have that show yet?

Home

In about 17 hours I'll be back in the soo for spring break. 15 of those hours will be spent on Greyhound bus (or at least in a station during the stops). Luckily I have homework and two computer batteries for watching tv shows. The crappiest part is that it is raining very hard so I'll be totin' my giant suitcase to the bus stop in the drenchingness. Good part: I'll be home at noon tomorrow and Mr. Mark will be picking me up at the station.

Two seemingly unrelated thoughts

Julia and I feed each other's lust for chocolate. Today she started it by asking me to accompany her to the Hasty Market for Mini-eggs (need I say more?). When we left I had a Cadbury Cream Egg and a surprise bag (Berny's Surprise Bag to be precise; only $1, what a steal!). When I returned to my stats assignment I had only the surprise bag but hadn't eaten any candy yet. So I retraced the trail down the stairs, through the living room, past the shoes and right out the door (sans coat)....down the street, through the parking lot, past the Tan Factory and "Ahoy" right on the median in the middle of the road: My CREAM EGG! I hadn't really thought about the implications of having lost it outside when I was looking for it but I checked for wetness and damage of which there was neither. So I ate it.

Topic change (I hope these aren't related). It has been about two weeks since I dropped a dose of Effexor to 112.5. I'm supposed to hover her for another two weeks and then drop again to 75 when the real changes are supposed to occur. The closer I get though the more I wonder if I can handle it. The anxiety is slowly creeping back in. Right now it is definitely manageable. I still do laundry, still sleep through the night, still go to the bathroom if I need to.

However, like I said, it is creeping back. While I did go to the bathroom last night (most nights bring one trip) it wasn't without a bit of wariness. Wait until my eyes adjust. Check behind shower curtain for creepers. Go back to room. Turn on light to check in closet and under bed for creepers. That probably already sounds slightly pathetic to all you people who can just drowsily walk from bedroom to bathroom, pee while almost missing the toilet and sleepwalk back to bed, but for me it is minimal distuption.

So I will use an "ease of night time bathroom use" scale to track my progress. 1 being I barely even open my eyes and anything beyond 10 is me not even bothering to pee because I can't leave my room. Ok so right now we are at a 2.5. That is respectable.

Absentmindedness + Eggs =

......boom! Cooking tip: if you leave eggs to boil (and the buzzer on the stove isn't very loud) and you forget about them a few things will happen.

1) the water will all boil away
2) the kitchen will be smoky
3) you will be reminded about the eggs when they EXPLODE all over the kitchen one at time
--so much for my protein after the gym tomorrow

"Is this where the sex show is?"

The question I heard most frequently today while working at the parking booth across from Sexapalooza. Except it's not me asking, it was your (dirty?) uncle Bob or your grandpa or your mom. Most of the people I saw were easily over 40. Most of the vendors who came towing trailers of 'goods' had seen probably Elvis' first records at their debut and were also proudly sported disabled parking strips. I'm sure it was an interesting show.

And because I like to juxtapose my weather and my food I ate an Oreo Mcflurry on the way home.

150 Bones

In the mail. Today. From the Ontario government. They called it the Textbook & Technology grant.

Yes people, we are in a recession and the university students are getting rebates. While I appreciate the bank-account-bump, let's be honest, your tax dollars are paying for booze and weed. Not too many textbooks this time of year.

Motivation in the Form of Failure

This has to be the first, maybe the second time, in my life that I have actually completely forgotten to do an assignment. Just did not do it and did not hand it in. It was not really worth anything but that isn't the point. Hopefully this waste of marks will motivate me to be more diligent. Or maybe it had something to do with being away this weekend.

After having it good in terms of exams for so many years I officially HATE Western. At least how they schedule exams. One: they do not give a final, unchanging exam schedule until almost the end of the semester.
Two: There are exams on Easter Monday (which actually really interferes with my ability to celebrate Mark's birthday -- I have an exam at 9am that day)
Three: Exams go until the very end of April.

Something good: if the schedule holds I may just go home for 10 days in between exams (look for a job, hang out with novio & family, etc.)

The Toronto Experience

This is day 4 in the metropolitan capital of Ontario. Two days with Mark two days with Becks: all lovely days. The two met at Spring Rolls restaurant where they apologetically messed up a few times (like buzzing for us for a table twice when no table was available). The food and service were good though, no grudges held. Apparently Becky was expecting Mark to be considerably quieter than he was based on my description (yes Mark, maybe some of it is in my head, there you go. But may I remind you this is after 1.5 yrs of work).

Now I'm chilling in a taxi yellow apartment with sun warming my hair while making up ridiculous acrostics of the IPA chart* (International Phonetic Alphabet) to commit it to memory.

The Manners of Articulation
-Point Nine Ton (of) Toxic Flatulence Leak Among Losers
-Plosive Nasal Trill Tap Fricative Lateral-Fricative Approximant Lateral-Approximation

Place of Articulation
-Balding Ladies Don't Always Pull Rogaine Packing Vampires Under Pale Gazebos
-Bilabial Labiodental Dental Alveolar Postalveolar Retroflex Palatal Velar Uvular Pharyngeal Glottal

*this link allows you to click on any symbol and hear the corresponding language sound created. Many of the sounds cannot be found in the English language

Unexpected Motivation

Going to the gym isn't my favourite thing. Most of the time I am fairly adept at justifying my decision not to workout but lately I haven't had to. Western just opened its brand new gym and it is massive. Poorly laid-out but well-equipped. So I have been going 2 or 3 times a week (partly on the recommendation that exercise will probably benefit my progression off of the meds).

Monday morning I woke up excited to go to the gym between classes. Excited?! I even tried to talk myself out of it since it wasn't planned but I insisted on carrying my stuff around all day. I then invested $8 for a month of towels to encourage going (it makes a big difference not having to bring my own toalla=towel). So far I have used one (I need to use at least 8 in 30 days to 'break even' on my investment). Tomorrow I will use another between classes. Let's hope this is a wonderful change in lifestyle and not temporary insanity.

Muy Caliente

Before being warned by the director at my volunteer place I hadn't put much thought into Gigi-the-cat hitting puberty. Gigi-the-cat is 5 months old, so we should have had some time before the evening yowling began right? Wrong. She is in raging heat.

Do you know how to tell if your cat is in heat? Well, I had no idea but she has been acting very strange lately. Usually she has no interest in affection but she now lets me pet her for minutes at a time, she meows all the time at nothing (it seems like nothing to the humans). The tip-off that made me go to the trouble to google the symptoms was an odd stance she took on while I scratched her back: she crouched low and seemed to walk on the spot with her back paws. So I checked. According to this site she is all horned-up and ready to go; we have to start guarding the doors so she doesn't go get knocked up. This wouldn't even be teen pregnancy....toddler pregnancy? Creepy. She is just a kitten and she is already set up to reproduce.

I hope Gigi's owner takes some advice from Bob Parker and gets her pet spayed or neutered.

Today I pulled the "my-boyfriend-lives-far-away-and-I-never-get-to-see-him card"; and it worked! Whenever the topic of where I live and then where my boyfriends lives comes up in convo there is always a unanimous "wow, that must be so hard" and a "how often do you see him?".

Usually I try to play down the suckiness (or just admit that it really sucks and move on) since, you know, whatcha gonna do? Yesterday I decided to use it to my advantage and actually get to take a midterm a few hours earlier than everyone else because Mark is going to be in TO next week (for that library conference) and I want to get in early enough to actually see him. There really are benefits to smaller class sizes and knowing your professors.

New Era of Responsibility

It is only a few times in each person's life that they witness something world-altering. The last was over 7 years go in New York city. I saw the towers fall in world religions class. The future remains to reveal if 1/20 will be the new 9/11. As a voyeur I watch a nation that I do not belong to hand over their hope to one long-awaited man.

I am proud to be Canadian. Today was the first time that, although not faltering, my pride felt some envy. Our government and people need a renewal that is happening in the US. Just because we are smaller does not mean we have less of a need for responsible government. I long to see the day when Canada welcomes a person as deserving as Barack Hussein Obama. Time will show his true abilities but big promises have been made on this day.

"Our time of narrow interests and putting off of unpleasant decisions; that time has surely passed."

From the benediction, the best line ever:

"I can't wait for the day when Black won't have to get back
When brown can get around
When yellah can be mellah
When the red man can get ahead, man
When white will do what is right"



A promise to "do our business in the light of day" and not rely on "[their] power alone" to protect them or bully others.

He promised other nations "Your people will judge you on what you can build, not on what you destroy"

Admitting that I'm bored always feels like failure; like I'm not involved enough or have enough 'hobbies' to keep myself busy. But you know what, I'm BORED! And lonely. I guess the two go together. Usually when I have free time I would fill it with social activities and just plain-old hanging out. Not here though, I don't really have friends (yep, its true, I'm a bit of a loner). I feel like I'm working hard and doing what I need to do to get where I want to be but I haven't made any effort to build up a social network here. At least I won't be missing too many people when I leave.

It helps to have things to look forward to. Keeping my eye on the prize, if you will.

In two weeks I see Mark in Toronto (he has a library conference. A conference for librarians about libraries and books. How adorably nerdy is that?)
My parents are in Hawaii right now so I look forward to seeing the pictures, hearing the stories and, yes, getting the cool souvenirs. So far I hear that I'm getting a cool purse and a map. Neato!

Katie V for SLP

Has a nice ring. Although even a super-catchy campaign slogan will do little to actually get me into grad school, or get me a job after for that matter. Too bad because it keeps popping into my head making me sad that I have nothing to use it for.

Katie V for Diplomacy?
Katie V for University....?
Katie V for Community........?
Katie V for Eulogy....(ies).....I could start a business

La Tertulia

This basically translates as a discussion group...in Spanish. People sitting around discussing important world events and philosophical ideas....IN SPANISH! Wow, has my level of spoken Spanish taken a hit since I left Peru (now 13 months ago) but this is the perfect opportunity to gain back some ground. Every Wednesday night. I spent 2.5 hours there today talking about the current political situation in Colombia, the economic crisis and when it actually started, George Bush's decision to award a Liberty Medal to the Prime Minister of Colombia, etc.

Today was educational. Too bad I want to stop leaving the house at all unless the temp rises above zero.

Good/Bad

Going to Guelph: good (no, great!) for catching up with amazing people I never see
Riding the Greyhound: good for starting the book Three Cups of Tea that I got for Christmas. Bad for taking extra long
Volunteer position: good for a great new group of kids, double good for a bit more responsibility
This weekend: bad for feeling good about grad school applications
Seasons 6&7 of e.r.: good for spotting "before-they-were-stars" moments (adding to the count Paris from Gilmore Girls, Van & the ex-husband from Reba [different episodes])

Dues: Paid

After 4 months of being on the waiting list I nabbed an appointment with a counselor on campus. She was the first one to suggest that this is as good a time as any to wean myself from the mood-altering red caplets I have been taken for over 2 years now. Except we're just going to take it exceptionally slowly; like cutting the dose in half within the semester.

The main reason I am continue taking these babies is how amazingly not anxious I feel, but I don't want medication to be the permanent solution. The prob: in order to get off them I need to be able to manage the anxiety but to learn how to manage it I should probably feel some. We're going to go half way and potentially bring back a bit of the anxiety at a time then practice reeling it in without drugs. I don't really look forward to fearing the basement again (it is more convenient to be able to do my laundry whenever I want) but short term pain for long term gain. I drop down in a week or two then wait and see if anything changes.

Off to a Slow Start

Usually the first week of any semester is overwhelming. Usually. But with most of my extracurriculars not starting up right away and no real friends to catch up with the first week is actually proving somewhat boring.

My new classes look interesting (keeping Spanish & Stats, adding Child Development, Physiology and Phonology). I plan to attend a 'tertulia' on Wednesday nights which is just a discussion group in Spanish hosted by a professor here. Anyone can attend with any level of the language and the goal is to practice and improve.

With the slow start in mind I have been watching a fair amount of e.r. My emotions tend to keep themselves tightly packed inside, especially tearful ones but tonight I actually leaked a little. Not much but for me a little can be therapeutic. I was caught off-guard by the episode where Lucy dies. Most stuff on t.v. doesn't get me but Lucy being killed by her schizophrenic patient and bleeding on the floor while the staff celebrates valentine's day with loud music that covers her screams....it just, well, gets me. I wasn't expecting his episode for another half season. For future reference it is Season 6, episode 13.

Note: Lucy's murderer on the show now plays Prof Charlie Epps on Numb3rs. It causes some likeability issues for me.

Cookbook (Image) Perfect

I have never been an exceptional cook and that is still the case. But, to add to my lovely bread from a few posts ago I also made wontons for Mark and I the last week I was there. They were the most beautiful wontons I ever saw! So perfect and wrinkly-like-brains, they cooked well without bursting open like the first time I attempted vegetarian wontons in Calgary (with some real Asian cooks overseeing of course).

I think it was partly the bit of raw egg I mixed into the veggies are partly the fact that I did not over fill them. The innards were shredded carrott, broccoli, bean sprouts, green onion, garlic and some black bean sauce all sauteed together. Oh, but they were bland. So taste was a problem. A good idea would probably have been to use a recipe. However I would like to try to use other recipes as inspiration to spice up my boring wontons next time. And put more effort into the broth, which was just dull. But the basics are all there just waiting to taste really amazing!

How do you measure a year in a life?

The song 525 600 minutes from the Rent soundtrack asks this question. I don't have an answer but I like the sentiment that a year can be measured and counted as memorable by more than days. I don't plan on doing much self-reflection, actually. Maybe this is a symptom of still not having a 'grown-up' life but I don't really find the crossing to 2009 a significant milestone for me. At all. There is really no significance. Dec 29th: I submitted the last of my grad school applications. THAT felt significant. This coming April, once I have a yay or niegh from all of the schools, THAT will be life-changing (hopefully in a positive way).

Basically I don't feel like reflecting now. A year can be any grouping of 365/6 consecutive days.

If I had two cats maybe I would name them Hepburn and Higgins. A friend's cat who is lovely and lithe and dainty inspired this. I thought Audrey and Higgins would be the perfect combination (Have you figured out the reference yet? "My Fair Lady"). Oh, except my Nana was Audrey so my mom might be a little offended if I used her name for my cat. This same friend chose to name her cats Satine and Christian from Moulin Rouge. If I ever have two they are definitely getting cheesy famous duo names.

Nothing Better to Do

Mark was kind enough to drive me (through the white white blizzard) tonight to give away my 'lifeblood' (although I prefer to call it just blood). It had been over a year since I had to wait after going to Peru. The heart rate test was on the verge again but I squeaked past just below the cut off. It took some prodding but a vein was found, stabbed, and drained. 12 minutes. A little slow but nothing to worry about.
However, my flawless record of easy giving has been tarnished. I did NOT faint. But I may have been pretty woozy and I guess I looked it because one second I was sitting up and the next my head was down, my feet were up and I had cold cloths coming at me from all angles. A little rest, some orange juice and all was fine. I was very grateful to have Marky Pants there (that is his last name for blogging purposes), especially to drive me home.
Remember those boots from my last post? Yes, just scroll down one post. Everyone LOVED them! I felt like a violated pregnant woman except everyone was stroking my feet without asking and inquiring where I purchased the boots.
Note: drink ridiculous amounts of water two days before giving blood next time.

Christmas 2008

The week of Christmas has been completely relaxed and wonderful. Mark stayed to celebrate with my family and was awoken at 730 Christmas morning by my siblings so we could all open presents. You would think that would stop when your siblings are 21 and 16 but it doesn't. I got my dad two cases of beer for Christmas. Got Mark a sappy photobook. Rockband 2 for the siblings and some camera accessories for my mom.

These boots were a solid take-home for me on Christmas morning. Never will be feet be cold or unstylish again.

I baked 6 loaves of Finnish Coffee bread. It is something my mumu used to make but no one continued. We crushed our own cardamom seeds and made the house smell delicious. It is actually one of the only bread that is actually better the next day, not warm (but not cold). The recipe is surprisingly easy.

Consumer Alert

Not that you hadn't already guessed but SHAMWOW! is well, a bit of a sham.

See video here.

Does it pick up more water than a a towel of the same size? Yes.

Does it do the trick with the pop on the carpet? No.

My brother and I decided to experiment. A can of Pepsi was dumped (notice the use of passive voice) onto a piece of carpet and given a few seconds to soak in. Without pressing there was little result. With pressing we still had stains. It took lots of pressing and some AWESOME! (best carpet cleaner ever -- it got out the blueberry juice we spilled on the off-white carpet the other day) to get it all out. Careful what you buy from a crazy guy on TV.

Were you aware that....?

It has been bitterly cold here. Hibernate-order-groceries-on-the-phone-three-layers-pants cold outside here since I got back. This isn't a complaint, it is a fact needed to explain why my brother discovered that the sounds made by MSN (when you get a msg, when someone comes online, etc) can be changed to just about anything.

So far we have experimented with monotone "message", teen girl squad voices (courtesy of me), Rick Rolling oneself constantly, using only sound bites from Zelda (gamecube edition) "Hey, look over here". The microphone from the Rock Band set is actually quite good quality and works well for creating these sound bites.

A fun activity brought to you by 'nothern ontario cold snap 2008'

The Missing Piece

Even though I don't really take pictures anymore I still see myself self as "into photography". I have the DSLR, the regular SLR, although my favourite was my (now broken) Cannon Elph 1000. It took some of the best pictures and was easy to carry. Some of the lack of passion for me is just not being willing to lug such a conspicuous piece of equipment around very often.

The other one is developing. The digital revolution with cameras is perfect for me since I'm cheap and love to take multiple pictures and test out different settings. But there is something missing and I think that developing the pictures myself was a big part of the connection I felt with photography in high school.

Yesterday I woke up and half day-dreamed, half remembered the calm environment of the darkroom. Only mountains of books can make me feel more tranquil.

The best parts/what I'm missing:
-experimenting and seeing the results
-slapping the wet test strips up on the black board and tracking the changes as the photo emerges
-the grain in the grain finder
-watching it appear (90s developer, 60s stop, 90s filter. Wash)
-making contact sheets of the negatives
-the eerie orange dark and ticking of enlarger timers

At least for now, my own darkroom is a bit unrealistic. I don't have a space of my own (or, let's face it, money). I hope I get to develop again.

Really not willing to vouch for the accuracy

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a Self-Knowing Traveling Extrovert

Safe & Sleepy

I'm all snuggled in for a long winter's nap back home tonight. First time in a few months and it was taking a toll. I craved being home (maybe seeing Mark too, just maybe)

Today I:
-left way too early for the airport
-spent too much on too little food in the airport (food I barely touched or enjoyed)
-bought Proust & the Squid (a book about how our brains work and why some of us have difficulty learning to read)
-didn't get a chance to read much of it since my second flight included sitting beside a pilot with some interesting stories (try getting a turkey dinner in India!)
-both mom and dad picked me up at the airport
-finally saw Mark and, due to excessive lack of sleep (read: less than 2 hours), we just chilled with my sibs and watched a movie. Anything would have been good, and it was
-going to bed with the promise of cracking open a book about exotic fruits

Songs I can't believe I Like

(in order of "in-my-headness")

Poker Face, Lady Gaga

If I were a Boy, Beyonce (no, I'm not calling her Sasha Fierce)

Womanizer, Britney Spears (possibly my greatest shame)

One less thing to worry about

Except that --and I was proud of myself for this-- I had already decided days ago not to think about the GREs. I can't lie though, they were contributing to the stressful feelings.

It seemed at first that the weather was reflecting my doom. Multiple cars gave me a good soaking while passing me in the slush created by the rain as I trudged to the testing centre. Taking the test I was fairly relaxed and it went more smoothly than any practice test I had finished. The guy beside me stunk of b.o.

It was a surprise at the end that before my scores were revealed I had the option to cancel them, without ever seeing them, to avoid putting them on my permanent GRE record. I didn't feel especially positive about the tests but I could never just walk away without seeing my marks. To be honest I didn't even know what the scores I received meant but the woman at the testing place encouraged me to submit them (McGill takes GRE marks but does not need them for SLP, no other Canadian schools require them for the program). They have been submitted. I looked up the scores online after. Let's say I had a good stroke of luck and, thank apple pie, I will not be taking them again.

Most of my thoughts and stress and thoughts about stress have somehow been focused on grad school applications. I want to be a speech-language pathologist more than anything I have ever wanted to be (except maybe paleontologist from grades 2-6). By nature I am an uncertain person but this I have no doubts about. I have spent years trying to determine what I want to 'be' and now it is up to a bunch of committees to judge my worth based on 3000 characters of intent, transcripts, reference letters and volunteer experience. You know what, I would be an amazing SLP. How do I show them that over the other 300 applicants (for less than 30 spots).

Applications are going out to Western, U of T, McGill and Dal. I'm dropping money like it is hot; burning lava hot. The application fees seem like a money grab but protesting that now won't get me far in my career. Tonight I started biting my nails again for the first time since I decided to quit in September. It isn't the prospect of three more years of school or being away (although those things can be daunting) but the fact that I just don't know what will happen. I can get through more studies if they have a direct purpose, a specific goal I just have to tough out to reach the end goal. None of this education will be pointless but it will be so difficult to see the benefit if I do not get in. I don't yet have a back up plan except applying to colleges in the Communicative Disorders Assistant program to buy myself some experience. How do I stand out?

Old Question, New Answers?

An article in Scientific American* postulating the potential reincarnation of neanderthals with a new technology involving either Human or Chimpanzee embryos. The technique isn't what interested me so much as the implications. Bringing one of these creatures to life would be able to answer innumerable questions about how closely they resemble humans and how they interacted with each other. The curiosity in me says 'go for it!'.

Obviously there are way more implications to a move like this. It would challenge what we consider human and what defines us as different from animals. Just the uncanny resemblance to your hairy uncle Hank would make facing one in a zoo uncomfortable. What if they actually have the capacity for language? Do they then gain all of the rights given to humans?

Would it be wrong to keep them captive? We do this to chimps and orangutans in order to study them. Maybe they would be billeted to families, or request their own freedom to live in our world unrestricted. If they are/were self-aware, linguistic beings, where does God fit into this? Would he have created Adam and Eve only to make Gog and Lu in almost the same image?

*the article I attached is not the original one I read. I continue to search for it but the theoretical questions still intrigue me.

No humbugs here

This weekend swept past fabulously. The highlight was a visit to the apartment of Miss Mitts & Company to be whisked off to a delightful pub dinner and subsequent soulpepper rendition of 'A Christmas Carol'. A very talented group of actors, an intimate stage setting and wonderful company made my first real theatre experience very positive.

Sunday was spent in Belleville decorating a christmas tree and eating a glorious turkey dinner cooked by the fabulous Mrs. M. One last day of major lazy before the stress of finishing the semester kicks in.

6 more spanish quizzes
2 big exams
and one really scary GRE

They even have a Tori Spelling

It took a while but I found out some time this semester that the "Hills" people refer to in sentences like "I need to be home in time to watch the....." was not a cooler name for "One Tree Hill" that I was not privvy to. It is actually a show all on its own! So I have no seen an episode.

Conclusion: I don't get it.

Not my usual perspective

I don't intend this post to be an argument for abortion. Although, after much consideration (soul-searching if you will) I find myself more pro than con to choice.

What triggered this line of thought was a blog I read over a week ago that really bothered me. I won't link to it since it matters more what was said than who said it but basically this person thought they could never vote for Obama (or anyone) who supported abortion, regardless of their views in other areas. They did not say that they would automatically vote for the other candidate (if we're talking the US, yes just the one other anyone mentions) but either way it is not a vote for who otherwise may be the better candidate. Because of one issue.

I can't look at this from the perspective of a mother but I'll just say why this bothered me.

1. The traditional (but I believe fairly sound) argument that if abortions are illegal women will still have them but through much more dangerous means (The Worst of Times, Particia G. Miller).
2. This candidate that supposedly supports abortion could still have a bigger impact on the overall number of babies aborted in the long run depending on their other policies. Are they going to do more to make birth control more accessible? Lessen poverty? Maybe it is more important to combat the conditions created by society that allow for unwanted pregnancy (poverty, rape, no access to birth control/education, abusive relationships, etc. etc.)
3. this is purely subjective but it appears a bit....selfish? stubborn? To risk the future of an entire group/people/country based on one stubbornly held belief.

Maybe I'm wrong. This post seems to take the position that this person is the best candidate aside from this one belief. This hasn't been proven. I don't love the idea of women choosing to end a life (in the majority of cases that they indirectly or directly chose to create) but I do believe in giving people the option to choose, even the wrong choice. I'm surprising myself.

Not blogging about it

The situation in our house has become more strained in our house over the week. I struggle to determine the true reason behind the problems especially one person is having. There was an incident when a bunch of Guelph friends visited that, out of anger and frustration, I had written a blog about but then chose not to post. I erased it. It still feels that I can't give any more details about what is happening but it makes being at home somewhat uncomfortable at times.

On top of that, my freedom, due to the beater, has potentially been cut short. Driving to pick some books last night with my housemate another car pulled out right in front of us and I was forced to hit the breaks hard. Since then the breaks no longer respond much when used. Yes, they stop the car but are completely loose until my foot is almost at the floor and then the vehcile swerves while stopping. He is on his last wheels.

My housemate's grandfather was kind enough to take me to school today because I didn't feel comfortable driving without breaks in the snow storm this morning but this means no ride to dinner tonight, getting up at 6am to catch the bus on Saturday. Part of me wants to just risk it. I'll drive slowly.

Like a collander (meaning a little strained....haha)

The parents of the housemate I am closest with have gone to Rwanda for just over a week. Neither housemate nor her brother drive so I have been graciously lent "the beater" for the time being. It is a lesson in being prideful. The rust I can handle. The rubber from the wipers that trails when wiping? No big deal. No radio, ok. Doors that don't work, the obvious age (1991?), the dirt....hey, it drives right? But, the lack of a muffler. Now I'm not an especially prideful person but do I look poor in that car. The old girl likes to call attention to herself as she revs up the hills.

Being in the car with others makes it a fun adventure. Being in the car alone and my self-conscious, materialistic side comes out just a bit. This afternoon was amazing though. Housemate's grandparents treated us to the Mandarin (what is that place?) for lunch so we all (Housemate, Housemate's Brother, grandma & granpa with me driving) pile into the tin can and roar off to eat. Some of the best conversation I have had in months. I miss grandparents.

Clash of the Sirens

This is the first time in all my moving around that I have ended up in a house where personalities just ram into each other head first*.

One person in particular can only seem to communicate via written note on the refrigerator.
-Take out the garbage
-House meeting
-Don't use her plates and bowls (another difficulty with the house: a few people vehemently refuse to share, who has heard of three separate cutlery drawers???)
-This morning i got the pleasant: "Katie, do NOT use my pan. You scratch it up"
Ouch, considering I didn't use it. Ew, I have my own pan, with stainless steal: I'm afraid of Teflon!

The tension is creamy and has a bitter aftertaste. Adding to the mix are two cats (whom I love dearly) but are barely tolerated by one other roommate. Yes, this post is a bit whiny but I'm a bit frustrated. Yes, I actually do try to sort this out in a adult-like manner and talk to these people myself. This is step 2, when I'm alone in the house, and annoyed.


*While Calgary project had its share of petty disagreements it doesn't count for two reasons:
a) it was mostly pleasant
b) it wasn't exactly a living situation as much as a psychological experiment with that many females (read: hormones) living in such a confined space

Seamonkeys Day 1

A housemate was gifted a sea monkey kit this week so we promptly took it home, waited the 24 hours to let water sit out and added the smonkey powder at 3pm today. Right now it looks like slightly murkier regular water. Luckily they should be much less maintenance than a cat, not requiring their first feeding until 5 days after hatching. Disadvantage: little affection. Benefit: hours of intellectual stimulation. Since reading Archie comics with mail-away coupons for s'monkeys I have been fascinated with the idea and this will be my first glimpse of the flecks of shrimp eggs.

Also, tomorrow is my last midterm: syntax. Definitely a challenge, but interesting. I must also complete a stats assignment, my chapter of our Spanish story and the written portion of an interview for Spanish class to be presented on Thursday. After that I am mostly home free until exams and I will have access to a car (which I am told is a junker and embarrassing to drive) for about two weeks.

Maybe they weren't trying to be funny

This week I have come across some ironic stuff (or just regular funny?)

-a bake sale for diabetes (there have to be other ways to raise money!)

-Canada Post raising money for Mental Health

Clerk: Would you like to donate $1 to mental health?

Me: Sure. (thinking: yeah, I support mental health, why not?) What organization does the money go to?

Clerk: Um, I'm not exactly sure. Well, you can see this brochure, it is through Canada Post itself.

Me: Oh I get it, post office supporting mental health causes. Cute.

A vicious cycle

Since catching up on Bones (and now eagerly awaiting Wednesday night) I needed a new show to procrastinate with on demand. So I downloaded Man vs. Wild and Survivor man, not remembering which one was the coolest. Man vs. Wild. Bear Grylls is completely insane and that makes good 'reality' TV.

For those unfamiliar with the Discovery Channel show this guy gets dropped out of a helicopter over some inhospitable and/or dangerous habitat with a knife, a water bottle and maybe a flint. Oh and clothes, no he isn't naked (all the time). Then the show is over when he finds his way to help. Places I have gone with him so far: Costa rican rainforest, Moab Desert, French Alps (where he ate maggots and a live fish).

Three foods Mr. Grylls would take on a deserted island:
1) avocados
2) mayonnaise
3) chocolate

Three foods I would take:
1) chocolate (definite agreement here, but it has to be the milky kind)
2) my dad's chili (we obviously aren't concerned with how this will actually stay fresh)
3) clementine oranges

I'm assuming there will be pineapple and coconut there just hanging out so those don't need to be taken (not that coconut would be).

It was like being in residence again Monday night with drunk people disrupting my sleep between 4am and 5am. These two especially brilliant debaucherists (?) rang the doorbell in a constant string of dings and dongs to get the attention of their brother/friend who was visiting a housemate of mine. Problem: they wanted his car keys to move his car and access theirs. Problem #2: They were drunk.

Sorry guys, no bones. But that also meant they remained at the door rotating between doorbell, the old fashioned knocking method and just yelling up at the bro/friend for about one hour. I went down, grouchily opened the door and used some choice words: the ringing stopped but their polite knocking was stilled punctuated with polite yelling. Eventually, props to my housemate, she called the police who escorted them from our lawn and removed the illegal substances from their possession.

While writing this I am polishing off my first sweet baby oranges (I can't afford the real deal Clementines but these are good) to go with our first snow. I hope that gets it out of London's system, especially the transit system that was set back hours by the thick and sticky water.

An interesting development in this household is the new bond between our cats. Gigi and Carl love each other. Or Carl likes having something to do and Gigi likes to be tormented. While only about 1/5th of Carl's size she constantly provokes him into flipping her over and batting her around. Typical girl, goes right back to the guy who hurts her because he pays attention. Oh Gigi, so much to learn!

Pounds per square inch of force

Feeling the self-implosion inducing forces of the future crushing in on me. That came off a bit more dramatic than I anticipated but, nonetheless, it is reasonably accurate. The long process of applying to grad school begins (not just GREs but personal statements, reference letters, transcripts, etc.)

The scary thing is that this is where my plan ends. If I don't get in to grad school in Speech Pathology I have to come up with something else. Most of my expectations definitely come from what I think I should be, that most of my worth comes from being a student, being intellectual (smart) and I'll lose that if I don't choose a career that is 'intellectual', that sets me apart from other people (yeah, I'm going to say it is a pride thing). Brainstorming other acceptably 'smart' things to do with my life...

Abnegation of fun

Abnegation is from word list one (of 50), meaning self-denial or self-sacrifice, one of many I didn't really know the definition of until this evening.

My housemate has been encouraging me to find a London boyfriend so I have, "Master the GRE 2009". I think it is male, and we are going to be spending many long hours together (eating, listening to music, studying, watching TV, riding the bus....if that isn't a relationship....)

Most of my life culminates on December 9th 2008 (yes, if you wait too long to book your GREs you could end up writing them during your exams). Going in i though the math section was the most frightening. It is not. Math I can do with little review. It is the verbal section demanding a specific (and labourious) WAY of thinking. Plus essays and junk. Committing to this means I have committed to at least two hours of my daily life devoted to studying for the GREs (ie. conforming to the 'correct' way of thinking as judged by a standardized test).

Taking the test is to give me the option of applying to American universities for graduate school. Why do Americans love their standardized testing so much? Few Canadian universities (at least for Speech pathology) require any form of testing. Weird, they are willing to look at my qualifications and marks as judged through years of testing in my undergraduate degree.

Maybe having a social life is counter-productive

Since when am I the student who answers all the questions in class?

The one who goes out for coffee with her professors?

Who sits on committees of campus clubs? (As of this week I am one of two VPs of Communications for Autism Western)

Who volunteers with a professor and phd candidates? (Starting last week I code data into a computer system as part of a major project creating a database of all Spanish/Latin American-produced art and art housed in Spain - I get to look at paintings and listen to music!)


From my Guelph undergrad I am used to coasting on decent marks and keeping my involvement in school activities to social/religious-related occurrences. Hopefully this new involved citizen makes it out of school.

Return of the Prodigal cat

Carl is back! Mark drove me home on Thursday of this week for a visit and to attend and friend's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony and perfect location to appreciate the autumn weather. My mom spoiled me and I got a sassy new haircut on the morning of the wedding instead of spend time on it myself. It looks pretty snazzy if I do say so myself. But back to Carl:

A nice couple found him down by the train tracks where he approached them asking for food and affection. They obliged and took him home, shaving his fur where the sap stuck and would not be removed (which we heartily mocked Carl about once he settled back in...haha bald patches). Somehow they saw our posters pleading for his return (we only posted a few in the area, most being put into mail boxes, but not theirs). A new challenge for us will be keeping Carl, an adept hunter, from making a snack out of the 3 month old kitten the downstairs housemate brought home after Thanksgiving. To Carl it would taste something like squirrel.

Weekend come and Gone

Good thing the latest hiatus between seeing Mark is just a day and a half this time. Tomorrow we hang out here then head home on Thursday for a few days. The leaves are supposed to be at their brightest right now.

Thanksgiving weekend had more pie than I could have imagined. But the dead-yeast buns are likely what caused me to pull a stomach muscle. This weekend I saw an apple tree for the first time. And picked an apple off a tree (10 pounds of apples to be precise). Apple trees are shorter than I expected, my drawings of apple trees as a child were pathetically inaccurate.

Other accomplishments: convincing the children at our massive thankful dinner that I am cool (it is always so much easier with kids). The oldest, L, taught me all about the Jonas brothers who I was (sadly?) ignorant of previous to Sunday.
Bit by a snake (Mark must be so tired of this story haha). It sounds tough until anyone actually saw the snake, measuring in at a fearsome 15 to 20 cm. But I was bitten nontheless and we're going with non-poisonous because my finger has not turned black. Oh yeah, I was bitten because I tried to catch the adorable little snake, so my bad.
I purchased gum at a store with the confusing name "Piggly Wiggly". Confusing because what does that have to do with convenience items?

This time to end, Carl is still gone. We are losing hope.

Day 4: Still Missing

Carl has now been gone for 4 days. Before having a cat in the house here I never knew how much I love having a soft, furry ball of affection to greet me and follow me and chill with me while I do my homework. We are getting desperate with Thanksgiving coming up we won't be in the house if he comes home. I printed up some posters and distributed them around the neighbourhood while asking anyone outside if they had seen him.

We had some very encouraging reports and followed them along the fence until we found another cat that would fit the description of Carl but was not Carl. Now this cat will disrupt our search, we will be getting all these calls about this other cat, while cool, definitely not Carlzipan.

Yesterday while searching the neighbourhood a bit closer to home a young guy said that a half hour before a cat fitting Carl's description walked right into his house and then ran out again. Could it have been him? I hope that he is safe. But I'm leaving in half an hour to spend the weekend in Windsor with Mark's family....mmmm really good pie.

This is Carlzipan:

One nice thing

The saying "If my head wasn't attached I would forget that too" was definitely started by someone just like me (or possibly by me, but I forget). Today was one of those days. I walked right out of my first class and half-way down the hall until I remembered that I was covered in something coat-like when I entered the class and went back to retrieve my jacket off the chair.

From this class I fled through the rain directly to a professor's office hours to get some guidance on homework questions. From there I wandered to another building to wait for someone and decided that, since I was early, I would work on some problems. But I didn't have my notebook. So back to the professor's office in the downpour I went. (note: this is the same prof I visit weekly for help, two weeks ago I was asking for help and dropping off an assignment which I forgot to leave behind).

Luckily it was there but then he did something unexpected. He offered my his extra umbrella until the next time I saw him (almost two weeks because class is canceled Thanksgiving Monday) because he noticed I didn't have one. People just don't do that anymore. Although I am there every week at 1030 without fail so I'm sure he isn't worried that i'll disappear. I spent the rest of my day a less-wet fan of the Philadelphia Flyers.

One more potential loss: Carl hasn't come back! We let the cat out sometimes at night but he didn't come back last night, or this morning, or now and it is raining. I hope he is safe and warm.

Finally, a Shakespeare Reference

So we have a different cat. His name is Carl (although I usually call him "Beebee beebee" in an annoying high-pitch squeal or Carlzipan).

Carl is an adorable grey tabby with big green eyes and soft soft soft kitty-type fur. So soft. He is also more aggressive than Bok Choy and should be renamed Shiloc for he constantly seems to be demanding one pound of flesh from me (although I don't recall making deals). The cat really is gentle most of the time. Except this morning. When he smelled the bacon. Usually he is in Julia's room at night but I took him as a favour which is always worse for me because I am a complete push over. The cat wants to lie on my outstretched arm until it falls asleep? Sure, just careful, don't move that arm or you'll bug the cat. He comes in every few hours to get his chin scratched and I oblige.

My conclusion: I am being trained by a cat. I have scratch marks up and down my arm to prove it (hey, wrestling with him is fun, I know the price)

Wasting Time

With school, a job, and volunteering as much as possible to have a shot at grad school I should be busier than ever. And I am. Except, I'm bored and the rain is locking me inside. I rarely felt so bored in Guelph but I think it is due to my lack of friends. Not knowing many people here means that my free time becomes all mine, instead of social time. I really only need so much 'me' time and right now what I'm getting is too much.

Some of this extra free time is very productive. Some of it is spent watching Bones. Yum, Agent Seeley Booth of the FBI (aka Xander from Buffy, aka David Boreanz). Usually I bore of these types of shows as the story lines tend to blend but I enjoy the characters; the awkward geniuses are endearing. Also, it has a surprisingly lovely soundtrack. My new favourites:

Sara Enan: Bring on the Wonder
Syntax: Pride

Both mellow and emotional (wait, emotional....am I going emo??)

Sometimes

I have come across studies dumbed-down in magazines like Time and Psychology Today a few times explaining to exasperated parents that their teens, while they look like adults, have brains wholly unique to adolescence and young adulthood. Teens make irresponsible or just bad choices where the correct or best choice should be so clear to an adult. The brain is supposedly finished forming into a fully-functional adult with great decision making skills (I'm sure they'll concede that this doesn't always result) by the age of 25. That means I should be responsible in 1 and 1/2 years. Gone is my neuro-psychological excuse for rebelliousness.

Most of that was to say, I seem to make mostly good, rational decisions and then sometimes I make really stupid decisions (even after knowing the consequences).
Good decisions: do my homework,
go to bed on time,
plan ahead for reference letters needed for grad school (by being a total keener...)
choose studying over TV and fun

Bad decisions: choose TV and fun over studying (this one is a process)
lending my housemate (of-age-but-doesn't-have-a-licence-housemate) my ID to hang out with the boy she likes knowing it could be taken away (oh, and it was)
brownies for breakfast (not today...but it happens)

I'm sure there are many more additions to my good choice/bad choice list, just from this week.

I'm hoping it is just the glasses

Today I met with a professor who I had been communicating with by email through the summer and now am taking one of his classes. He is teaching linguistics and is easily one of the most learn-ed people I have met (he has studied Quechua in Peru, Inuktitut in Northern Canada, speaks french, spanish, norwegian and various African dialects) and quite possibly may be too smart for our class. He made the remark after we had sat in The Spoke talking over organic English Breakfast that he was relieved to find that I was not nearly as 'rigid' as i appeared in class. Always great to know I give off a "tightwad" vibe (no less according to a 60 year old professor).

Class today will be long, getting home at 10pm after much tossing and turning last night. I never would have wanted to admit that a man could have that affect on me (no longer talking about the professor here!).

External Locus of Control

Going for my bi-lifetime physical (I'm assuming I have been to the doctor for a check-up before last week but I can't actually remember a time) has revealed some biological shortages that could become problems. Basically I want to use them as the reason I am a terrible runner.
My iron is low (16, normal range is 10-291). Not below normal but the range is large so apparently I'm just getting enough to meet my very most basic daily needs but don't store any. I'm actually happy to hear that I was getting that much. A handy B vitamin of the 12 variety is below the normal range so we are going to work on bumping it up. So now I am gulping vast quantities of supplements in the mornings (ok, like 4 pills) The iron ones are little green discs that smell....bloody. I also added a regimen of Vitamin D since I am Canadian and will not get enough for most of the year and CBC radio recently aired a discussion about Vitamin D that hinted that we may actually need it for almost all bodily functions and in quantities hundreds (even thousands) of times what Health Canada recommends.

Other than the slight deficiencies (apparently B12 deficiency belongs to vegans and old ladies) I am pretty fit and have been instructed to carefully watch my moles due to the lack of pigmentation in my skin.

Isn't it always the case

An update on my junk food craving: I had some. It wasn't that good. Maybe I chose the wrong thing and I'm sure i had a bit too much. Afterward there was no satisfaction just bloatedness. And a sugar crash. Too bad I know I'll have to just keep on learning this lesson.

My obsession lately has been names. This isn't connected to wanting children, there is no place in my life right now for things that cry all the time, are messy, and constantly demand my attention. But I am fascinated with how people name them. Almost daily I find myself on the babynames website perusing the message boards to see what other people like. Some are pretty out there and some are growing on me.

My forever favourites:
Audrey/Aubrey
Maggie (but as a nickname, I'm trying to come up with something other than margaret for this)
Briar
Levi
Ezekiel (Zeke)

And then, from being on the site more than is healthy, some names I would love to use but most likely wouldn't. Let's call them guilty-pleasure names
Piper
Emerald
Olivia
Finn
harper (for a girl)
August (boy)
Dmitri (this one I've loved forever, I tried to convince my mom to name my brother this 16 years ago)

And i'll stop because i could go on forever.

I WANT COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or brownies, or donuts, or sugary sugary cake, or cheesecake, or rich rich ice cream, or a chocolate bar......

I has been over a week since I have had junk food. I want it. RIGHT. NOW. I'm too cheap to buy it and it is safer if it isn't in my house. But I am in the cafeteria and i can smell it.....

My lunch is good: and orange, some quinoa with salsa and cucumbers (also will be my dinner). Where the chocolate at?

And His Brother Asparagus

There are now 6 mammals living in our house (that we know of, there could be something in the walls). Yesterday, while starting a friendship with the girl in the room next to mine, we/she spontaneously brought a cat home from Pet Smart. So we have a cat. Sort of. Someone is allergic (it is ok, long story, i'm not typing it all) but it means the cat is somewhat restricted. He is black with fabulous green eyes that fade to rhinestone yellow. A very sweet temperament letting me play with his paws (!) which are the cutest part of a cat. His new name is Bok Choy, way less cliche than Midnight; the appellation on his adoption form. The really cool thing is that I have never had/lived with a pet. At least not a real one that could roam. I have had fish and a crab, neither of which require much attention or care or give it either.

Today was my first class. Spanish. It should be fun and challenging: a good combination. The real excitement for the day was biking over 10k (ok not that far, i couldn't have run it!) to a volunteer orientation. I will be doing the Talk It Up program on Saturday afternoon at the London Speech and Language Centre. Basically it is additional therapy for children with communication difficulties in the form of a small classroom with a teacher and an assistant/volunteer (that's me!) to every one or two children. We have the opportunity to sit in on their individual, half-hour therapy to get to know them better and learn as much as we can and then we apply the therapies and work on goals in the classroom setting. One of our biggest goals will be to encourage social interaction and using words or practicing specific sounds. Tonight was an orientation, Saturday is the first therapy day. It is the perfect opportunity to get me on track to eventually be a Speech-Language pathologist (SLP)

Finally trying to stop

I have painted my finger nails and decided not to bite them. Must be that fact that classes haven't started yet but it has worked, almost a week now and without much temptation! i started to notice a difference today in that it is slightly more difficult to type with my nails hitting the keys and sliding off. that is a new one for me! they are still little and may need even a few years to rejuvenate before I'll love my nails but it is about time. Now that it is public everyone can slap my hands away from my month if I try to bite. Besides, it was wearing at my lower front teeth and causing pain. I can't afford new bottom teeth!

I biked to the Western campus today for the first time. It was a surprisingly easy and fast bike ride, no more than 10 minutes but i forgot to actually time it. The day was spent in lines, first for a student card, then a bus pass and then student health services. Now i am enjoying some time off before classes start. I am mostly unpacked and will just continue to pick up things here and there as I need them. The last of the 5 girls moved in today and it is a very full house ie. everyone brought a lot of stuff. I had some time to wait this afternoon so i spent some of it browsing the library periodicals....D.B. Weldon Library, you will be my refuge.

Lying awake. Leaving tomorrow. Why doesn't anything feel real until it is half-way done....

Preteen Dream Fulfilled

Even though Girlicious opened for them I won't be holding it against the Backstreet Boys. The first hour was a bust however I wasn't expecting much from a group formed by a TV show (anyone remember O-zone?......didn't they have that one nasty song about liquid dreams).

The boys (sans Kevin) put on a good show. They had fun choreography, props and really seemed to have fun. And it gave me a chance to sing along to all the songs I memorized in elementary school. Some things have changed. Howie, who I found fairly repulsive as a 13-year-old, is now the most attractive and least aged of the group. Nick is still Nick. Brian had his adorable son with blond ringlets introduce the band; if he didn't already have spawn I would offer my womb. But A.J. He passed that line from being funky and cool and had more in common with dirty old truckers. What a beard. The tattoos on his less sculpted arms are no longer very cool. It is hard to believe they are all in their very late 20s and early 30s now. At least I've now seen them before they start looking like the Rolling Stones.

PS. We were on the floor level right in front of the DJ/sound section and who was there? Aaron Carter cheering on big brother Nick. He hasn't grown at all since his video on the playground.

Tropic Thunder

How could I miss that Tom Cruise nose? It only took me half the movie to figure out which character he played (ok, I asked Mark). "THAT is Tom Cruise?" The images of him with fat burly hands club-dancing will forever be sloshed around in my nightmares.
With the spoof trailers I started to worry that I would have to mange on some crow and own up to its brilliance but thankfully I do not. It had its moments, some characters were even endearing but it was all just too much. Maybe I'm more of a subtle humour kind of gal.

4 more sleeps and I will be in London. I haven't really mentioned it on here. I guess it doesn't seem like it is actually happening. It has been over a year since I have been in school! I will miss everyone here so much. Two days before I leave I have a ticket to see the Backstreet Boys. Yes, it is a teen dream come true. But my not-so-secret-anymore-secret? I don't love concerts. In fact, I'm not excited. The idea of the lines and crowds and finding the seat and waiting for the concert and getting pushed around....sounds like a hassle. When did I become this old?

How I Spend too Much Free Time

My new obsession is Photoshop. Specifically scrapbooking with the program. While I got into the paper version I often was discouraged from starting a project because of the plethora of supplies I had to take out, the lack of a good printer for details and the expense of the really fun items. Now everything I need is stored on my computer, literally at the tips of my fingers. Layouts can be created and changed in seconds (well created in minutes, changed in seconds). There is all kinds of free stuff online like papers and ribbons, etc. Along with tutorials on how to make my text glow or follow a shape or pretty much anything I could want. Thank you people-who-beat-the-path-first. Here is one of my latest creations from my time in Peru.

The Next Member of the Coast Guard

I like to defend Canada. I can't help it, I like my country.

A friend posted a keen observation here that China has more silvers than we do medals. Total.



Here is my response. I did all these painful calculations so I thought it was only right to reuse my work.



"ok, but sometimes i like to break it down by population and do it as a proportion of medals to population. we have 13 medals to 30 million people. China? 85 medals to 1.3 billion. We have one medal per 2 307 692 people. They have one medal for every 15,294,117 people. Wow, we are so much more accomplished, PER CAPITA! You know what, i'm putting this on my blog. haha, i'm a dork; admittedly."

I even left in the juicy details.

Things I would have taken pictures of

Yesterday Mark, Andrea, Sean and I went out to Sean's camp for some relaxing. Forgetting my camera I was forced to take mental snap shots.

1. The clear plastic cup that imprisoned the doomed worms Sean and I found under rocks and rotting logs. Also found: ant colonies furiously guarding their eggs, a teeny newt, a similar sized salamander, a giant black beetle and so many more curiosities.

2. The rock bass I caught the moment the hook hit the water. The two other fish I caught, even if they all had to be thrown back (hey, I was fishing off a dock in shallow water!). The two fish Andrea caught.

3. The view over the lake from the jagged white bluffs.

4. An amazing sunset in pinks with blue-gray clouds. So what if it is cliche? It also had a docks in it.

5. Sean dropping his ice cream in the parking lot, right off the cone. Oh, and then subsequently picked out the rocks and ate it. Waste not, want not.

Lace is the new Polyester

"Sex is no longer cool. What's cool now? Status. Narcissism. Rich is the new porn."
-The Last Pyschiatrist Blog

Not saying I agree, I haven't processed it yet. Nor do I follow culture to know what it up and coming.

Crazy Cat Lady

Right now I'm just watching other people's cats, often. These latest two are a fun pair: one slightly crotchety and overweight black and brown cat and one brand-spanking-new cream coloured one with brown ears and tail. The little one likes to sneak up on the big one and wave her arms in her face. Here are some cute pictures including one of Nissa (nee-sa) in her favourite hang-out.

Books on the Brain

The other day I had a refreshing conversation with a fellow bibliophile, let's call her Beth because that is her name. I would love to say that it brought me back to thoughts (fantasies? ) about books however I was already there.

What I am reading now:

Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky.
-This is almost complete after weeks and weeks of reading faithfully over my lunch hours. This isn't the kind of book I could ever recommend to anyone because I have enjoyed reading it but to be honest: it is really long and tedious! Why should I hate it? Humour is mostly related to quotes from old Russian writers that I have never heard of, it is almost 1000 pages with itty-bitty writing, it was written in the 1800s and translated from Russian (I'm using this for the reason that absolutely everyone is ridiculously over-dramatic, the women are 'hysterical', everyone makes eyelid-drooping speeches.....) Why do I like it? No idea. But I will feel soooo good when I finish these last 90 pages.

Born to Kvetch: Yiddish Language and Culture in All of its Moods by Michael Wex
-Mostly this is much more linguistic based than it is funny. Looks funny, isn't really. If you like how languages evolve then this book might just be for you. Kvetch is Yiddish for "to complain" which is basically what the language seems to have evolved around, at least according to Wex.

Vandal Love by D.Y. Bechard
-Canadian lit I could actually not wait to open. So far I'm only a few chapters in but it has already surprised me quite a bit. The description focuses on the Herve family that alternately births runts and giants. I wasn't really expecting boxing to come into it, but hey, I'm open. I'm still excited but have no idea what to expect.

I have never really looked good in hats

This past weekend my mother and I passed a significant portion of our lives in the van, with my stuff. Thanks to my uncle Frank who decided to come with us to London (with his two kids as well) we unloaded everything much more quickly than my mother and i could have done. Oh, and he put my desk together. It looked easy but it was not. I would have just remained deskless. The verdict is...not in yet. Although the house is quite large, 5 floors total (tall, skinny townhouse) it is so far sparsely furnished. Cons: old furniture, very white, somewhat depressing. Pros: nice big kitchen, dining area is cool and overlooks living room, someone brought a super nintendo.

It also appears that i may be living with people who are vastly beyond me in coolness level. While we didn't meet yet there was a piano in the entrance beside the long board (skate board that is long) and down the stairs from the guitar and keyboard. Musical and sporty. Those are my two....weaknesses? Inadequacies? things that make people cool that I don't have....
Plus i'm at least 3 years older than two of them. So I'm old. They are younger than my little sis. I realize this doesn't actually matter but I do feel old (helped along by the fact that I already have a degree and took a year off to travel/work).

I am excited for all the classes I will take and the great volunteer placement I have already secured (key for applying to grad school in speech pathology). It is working with a group of children on Saturdays to do therapies assigned by their SLPs and teachers during the week.....I believe. Or something along those lines. Woot! But sad. I love it here, I belong here, I will miss Mark terribly. Why do I need more school?

Starting Over

For over 10 years I have held on to the same debit card but it died this weekend. It is like that record-breaking pet hamster that doubles the typical hamster 3 years, or more. I wish I had documented it's use, maybe it was worthy of the guinness book of world records. If I am to top this with another card I will be about 35! I can't even think that far. *fingers crossed I'm done school by then*

A hirsuit Dennis the Menace

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That first line of blogging is courtesy of the furball I am keeping company over the week. Little Rizzo, gray with black stripes and white paws is a big ball of mischief. From the moment I enter the house until I go to bed and shut him out he constantly needs to be at my side. The other cat, Gonzo, has barely taken the time to say hello but has glared at me from afar twice. It isn't that I irresponsibly ignore my charge either. We play, bond over a spring-loaded red pompom with a bell and he purrs while I offer my hands to rub himself against. This is my first experience of having a real pet, meaning a pet that requires care and/or has free range of the house. Previously my family has housed fish and a crab. That is it, neither really enjoyed interacting with me.

I don't mind i suppose. The unlimited affection is nice, he is pretty cute as he naps beside the mouse with his extra claws that catch on everything sticking up. Really though, I can't sit to eat because then he has his face in the food. No playing on the computer without my toes being nipped or someone trying to catch the mouse (well the vitual manifestation as the cursor). Ideally I would have a cat just slightly less interested in me than Rizzo is and maybe not a dog after all. They are much less work and easier to leave for an entire day (due mostly to the indoor waste excretion). Maybe a cat it would be. They make nice companions, tonight I'll try telling him all of my secrets and troubles.

This Entry Needs a Photo

A photo with all 10 of us awkwardly arranged around the table would have perfectly captured three hours last evening. The big meeting, referred to as a "Meet-the-Fockers-party" by a woman at work, was held last night with better-than-predicted results. That is right folks, my parents and Mark's parents met and nothing collided nor crickets chirped. On the whole it was a pleasant evening. Even my 16-year-old brother stuck around for most of the chatting; the brother that repeatedly asked me if he had to eat with us and then if he was required to stay after he finished (which he was not).

They brought oven mitts as a gift. My dad cooked heaps of meat and roasty veggies. We looked at pictures of Mark and I (by their request, it was not forced). His mom said awkwardly nice things (I'm not good with the outright in font of everyone compliments.....uncomfortable), which can't really be complained about but I will anyway. All of our brainstorming of potential topics of conversation or areas of similarity were was unnecessary.

Some Things are Taboo for a Good Reason

Mark's parents are in town. Well, not IN town but at a cottage (camp!) outside of the city. Last night we drove the 2o minutes to visit and, even though the scenery is very Ken Danby -esque, we avoided the junky weather by playing board games indoors. Everyone more or less enthusiastically took to Taboo. For those unfamiliar with this classic players are broken into teams and each person takes turns trying to get their team to guess words on a card. The kicker is that you have to describe it and can use personal anecdotes, etc. but each has a list of 5 'Taboo' words that you cannot use. For example, in describing The Dark Knight you couldn't say Gotham, Movie, Batman, the Joker, Heath Ledger (if only it was that up to date!)

All this explanation for one of the best moments of my life (in terms of hilarity). Mark and I made up one team and his parents and sister created the other. We were annoyingly good at the game using all types of shared experiences and anecdotes.

I get the word Career and it is up to Mark to guess.

Me: "I haven't started this"
Mark (interrupting me): YOUR PERIOD!
Me: ....yet

His mom missed the comment however it wasn't lost on anyone else. Best line ever, especially when remembering that Mark is a fairly introverted person (especially around his fam). I'm not sure how happy he is going to be with this story on the internet.

I feel like a giant hickory stick

I lathered, rinsed and repeated. I let the conditioner sit for an extended period of time. I scrubbed. Twice. I STILL smell like campfire. Hopefully it is subtle enough that no one at work today connects the scent to me.

Most of the time it rained or threatened rain. Pancake Bay (where our church rented three group camp sites) is notorious for having cold water which it lived up to. I spent about 10 minutes in the water, in my clothing, mostly to make sure that I swam at least once all weekend.

One of the most popular topics on conversation in tent-city, where we all huddled to avoid the rain, was The Dark Knight. There is little left to say about the film that hasn't been said and a review would be somewhat redundant. Yes, Heath Ledger as the Joker was easily the best part of the film. Yum, Christian Bale as Batman. "Want to see me make this pencil disappear?"

Calm is my middle name

My little brother turned 16 a few weeks ago. Last week he called me at work to brag that he passed his G1 test AND drove home. With a whole 7 days of driving to his name I only had images of slight disfigurement (instead of a painful, horrible death) and said yes when asked if we could reverse driving roles and he take me to work instead of the opposite; Are you walking the dog or is the dog walking you scenario?
It really was just around a few corners and jail cell lengths down a busy street but I was fairly self-congratulatory as I tested my breathing and listened intently at my pulse. Not even on edge. I was the cool sister, cucumberesque. The only giveaway was that I kept reaching up and clasping the seatbelt that crossed my chest.

Silver Medal Club

There is a club (unofficial) that meets in the four venue food court of the mall I work in. The only criteria for membership are either physical or subjective.
If the majority of these apply you're in!

1. Bifocals: you can't see far away and you can't read close up.
2. Grey hair (not just one or two but many). Died counts.
3. Cotton pant suits in bright or pastel colours. (Have flood pants in light green with pleats down the front?)
4. Hearing aid and/or dentures
5. Enjoy walking back and forth repetitively for exercise
6. Retired (bonus points if what you retired from was teaching)
7. Wallet/purse with photos of grandchildren
8. Plenty of complaints (mostly physical, weather or government related; extra points if you have arthritis pains from the weather and the government isn't covering the medical claims)

That is it, if you check off four or more then you are in. Show up before the mall opens, grab some comfy walking shoes and a coffee.

If that is retirement I don't look forward to it. Although I never thought I would like going to bed early or garage saling. Maybe waking up before dawn to meet the mall club is as inevitable as switching to elastic pants after a certain (for comfort of course).

You Hear it but you Don't really Know

After one boy and one girl are selected to leave So You Think You Can Dance each Thursday evening our Fox station switches to the local news, which in our area is Detroit and Rochester. It is beyond painful to watch but for about 10 minutes I did just that like I watch obese people on TV eat junk food.

Scenario 1: A severely overweight white lady with WAY-TOO-BLOND hair is interviewed while she waits alone in line to be served $1.50 per gallon gas as part of some white republican's campaign for office of something or other. (From memory) "It is sure worth the wait for us SUV drivers" Ok, that isn't really a quote but a paraphrase with the thick accent she was carrying.

Scenario 2: 'Special' interest story out of Mobile (pronounced: Mo-beel), Alabama. A group of people have spotted a Leprechaun and now hoards of onlookers wait for nightfall to catch a glimpse of the Leprechaun in the tree. One man claims that he plans to rip down the tree for a pot of gold. Another (with a mouth full of gold teeth) claims he believes! Believes!

Scenario 3: Merchants lament in a city hall meeting about the inevitable future downfall of their massive indoor shopping complex (aka a mall aka capitalist depression/ADD/social anxiety disorder maker). Why is this decline inevitable? Because of an increase in the sales tax by 3 EIGHTS OF ONE PERCENT! Oh no, people will feel it, they will stop shopping at the mall, property taxes will go up pushing prices up further and then they will never go back to the mall! Ever!

Although a little too dramatic for my liking it probably would even be good if the mall just shut'er down.

And a little treat from an hilariously fun tee website "Busted Tees". Think "saved by the Bell"

N'SYNC with NG

For the past two issues of National Geographic Magazine sent to my home as part of my subscription birthday gift from Mark (shout out) there have been featured destinations that I have actually seen. Yes, NG has probably featured 97% of the globe but I couldn't relate before. Last month (actually right before we left) there was a story about Stonehenge in preparation of our trip. This month there is the Salt Flats in Uyuni, Bolivia (or Alitplano as they called it). It is incredible to see things in NG that I have stood directly in front of myself, that I felt the strong gusts of wind and smelled the horrible smell of the flamingo poo.